Woody
05-11-2005, 08:48 AM
Country Dog, City Dog
I am most definitely a city gal. I was born and raised in the epicentre of the universe, which on any map of the world is called "Toronto". But I have lived in Calgary for the past 15 years and it has proven itself to be the perfect fit and size for my lifestyle. Calgary has all the amenities that any big city centre enjoys, we just enjoy them a little later than everyone else. For instance, there is a hit new play currently playing in Calgary entitled "Phantom of the Opera". Perhaps you've heard of it…..a somewhat odd story about an ugly, tormented guy who lives his life in isolation and is in love with a beautiful woman that he cannot have. I thought it was a Woody Allen biography. In any event, by mere association and geography, Newman is a city dog, but that reputation was recently put to the test when he spent four days on a farm while Dave and I were out of town.
A wonderful gal named Kim, who works with Dave, offered to care for Newman while we went to Vegas to donate our paycheques to the Nevada Chamber of Commerce. Kim lives in a lovely home just south of Calgary with her dogs, Spud and Katie, her two horses, Sherman and Mikey and one hilarious donkey named Valdez. As you can imagine, there is a very specific point where you have left the city and are entering the country and that point starts with directions. In the city, you get to where you are going by following street names, a map and the basic directions found on a compass. Our directions to Kim's place went something like this: Drive down Highway 22X for about the same amount of time it takes to bale some hay. When you get to the sign that says "Bubba and Beverley-Mae's Wedding" turn left. Drive for the length of a George Strait song and when you get to a huge boulder that looks like Ed Asner, turn right. Drive down this road and through "Pothole Junction" until you leave paved asphalt and hit a gravel road. Keep going for "a spell" and once you pass a mailbox that looks like a Holstein cow, we are the second house on the left".
Lifestyles are very different in the city as opposed to the country and this includes the lifestyle of the canine in residence. Here are a few examples of what I observed about Newman and his country counterparts:
1. A country dog gets up when the rooster crows and gleefully accompanies his master while doing chores. These chores may include mucking out stalls, feeding the livestock, milking cows or collecting eggs. The country dog's purpose is to provide companionship and perhaps nip at the heels of a wayward bovine. When Newman is jolted awake by our alarm clock, he blurrily looks out from under his sleep mask and groans. As he lounges on his foam-stuffed, fleece-covered, custom-made bed he assumes the snooze button will be hit and we'll be getting up at the more reasonable hour of 10:00.
2. A country dog wears a thick piece of rope as a collar, with his name written on it in black magic marker. No matter what the country dog's name is, he is referred to as "Bud". Newman has several collars in various shades that compliment and accentuate his chocolate fur but also reflect his shifting moods. He has a tattoo, a microchip and a computerized e-tag should he ever get lost. Newman prefers the use of his formal name when being addressed: Whiskeycreek's Whimsical Fellow His Royal Highness Sir Smarty Pants The Honorable Chocolatey Prince of the World and Everything In It.
3. A country dog is always wounded in some way, shape or form. He has a broken rib from being kicked by a horse, the tip of his ear has been torn off by the dog on the next acreage, he's limping because he fell in a gopher hole, or he has dried, encrusted blood on him somewhere from crawling under the barbed wire fence. Newman arrived at Kim's house wearing a protective vest and Eddie Bauer Rugged Terrain Booties. I gave Kim a canine first aid kit and a supply of cotton swabs dipped in menthol for his daily ear cleaning. His vanilla aromatherapy candles were to be used as an evening soother.
4. A country dog's coat is caked with mud, shaved in unusual places because of burr removal and matted together like Bob Marley's dreadlocks. He tends to smell of manure and he resembles a Nutty Bar from the oats he just rolled in. His nails only stay short if he runs windsprints on cement. Newman gets a bath once a month, he's blow-dryed, moussed and professionally styled by "Dimitri". As a final touch he is spritzed with "Eau My Dog" body spray.
5. A country dog is permitted to "roam the land". He can wander and explore the countryside, the ponds and creeks, he visits with the other country dogs who are also meandering through the woods and he chases the deer, the ducks and anything else in a five mile radius encroaching upon his "backyard". He always finds his way home at dinnertime, but he is mysteriously missing a tooth. Newman gets lost from our basement to our main level and trips on air.
6. A city dog is usually transported with great care. He is put in the back of a Jeep/SUV with a wire partition placed across the seats to keep him from jumping into the front. Or, for the car owner, there are doggie seatbelts and harnesses for safety. The ultimate in protection is to place your dog in his kennel in your vehicle. A country dog calls shotgun. Period.
7. A country dog gets to eat just about anything. His dinner is usually supplemented with peeled potato scraps, gristle from the barbecue, meat loaf, toast dipped in egg yolk, Jimmy Dean sausage and anything you drop on the floor that fails the 5-second rule. Newman eats a holistic brand of kibble and boiled rice for his sensitive stomach. However, both city and country dogs will run you over to devour a pile of horse or cow poop. I don't know what the secret ingredient is that makes this so appealing to dogs, but all the land is a buffet and Seabiscuit and Buttercup are the chefs.
8. Finally, city dogs require a great deal of affection. They love to be pampered, praised, petted, hugged and smooched on the nose. If not, they consult their pet psychologists about their "needy" behaviour and self-worth issues. By contrast, country dogs think you're smothering them if you scratch their ears and mutter "Atta boy".
All in all, Newman loved being in the country and he slept for three days after I brought him home. He was dirty, he smelled like pond scum and he needed a Tic Tac, but there's one thing that doesn't change from the city to the country: The love, care, loyalty and protection of a good Bud.
Dee Clair
Calgary, Alberta
I am most definitely a city gal. I was born and raised in the epicentre of the universe, which on any map of the world is called "Toronto". But I have lived in Calgary for the past 15 years and it has proven itself to be the perfect fit and size for my lifestyle. Calgary has all the amenities that any big city centre enjoys, we just enjoy them a little later than everyone else. For instance, there is a hit new play currently playing in Calgary entitled "Phantom of the Opera". Perhaps you've heard of it…..a somewhat odd story about an ugly, tormented guy who lives his life in isolation and is in love with a beautiful woman that he cannot have. I thought it was a Woody Allen biography. In any event, by mere association and geography, Newman is a city dog, but that reputation was recently put to the test when he spent four days on a farm while Dave and I were out of town.
A wonderful gal named Kim, who works with Dave, offered to care for Newman while we went to Vegas to donate our paycheques to the Nevada Chamber of Commerce. Kim lives in a lovely home just south of Calgary with her dogs, Spud and Katie, her two horses, Sherman and Mikey and one hilarious donkey named Valdez. As you can imagine, there is a very specific point where you have left the city and are entering the country and that point starts with directions. In the city, you get to where you are going by following street names, a map and the basic directions found on a compass. Our directions to Kim's place went something like this: Drive down Highway 22X for about the same amount of time it takes to bale some hay. When you get to the sign that says "Bubba and Beverley-Mae's Wedding" turn left. Drive for the length of a George Strait song and when you get to a huge boulder that looks like Ed Asner, turn right. Drive down this road and through "Pothole Junction" until you leave paved asphalt and hit a gravel road. Keep going for "a spell" and once you pass a mailbox that looks like a Holstein cow, we are the second house on the left".
Lifestyles are very different in the city as opposed to the country and this includes the lifestyle of the canine in residence. Here are a few examples of what I observed about Newman and his country counterparts:
1. A country dog gets up when the rooster crows and gleefully accompanies his master while doing chores. These chores may include mucking out stalls, feeding the livestock, milking cows or collecting eggs. The country dog's purpose is to provide companionship and perhaps nip at the heels of a wayward bovine. When Newman is jolted awake by our alarm clock, he blurrily looks out from under his sleep mask and groans. As he lounges on his foam-stuffed, fleece-covered, custom-made bed he assumes the snooze button will be hit and we'll be getting up at the more reasonable hour of 10:00.
2. A country dog wears a thick piece of rope as a collar, with his name written on it in black magic marker. No matter what the country dog's name is, he is referred to as "Bud". Newman has several collars in various shades that compliment and accentuate his chocolate fur but also reflect his shifting moods. He has a tattoo, a microchip and a computerized e-tag should he ever get lost. Newman prefers the use of his formal name when being addressed: Whiskeycreek's Whimsical Fellow His Royal Highness Sir Smarty Pants The Honorable Chocolatey Prince of the World and Everything In It.
3. A country dog is always wounded in some way, shape or form. He has a broken rib from being kicked by a horse, the tip of his ear has been torn off by the dog on the next acreage, he's limping because he fell in a gopher hole, or he has dried, encrusted blood on him somewhere from crawling under the barbed wire fence. Newman arrived at Kim's house wearing a protective vest and Eddie Bauer Rugged Terrain Booties. I gave Kim a canine first aid kit and a supply of cotton swabs dipped in menthol for his daily ear cleaning. His vanilla aromatherapy candles were to be used as an evening soother.
4. A country dog's coat is caked with mud, shaved in unusual places because of burr removal and matted together like Bob Marley's dreadlocks. He tends to smell of manure and he resembles a Nutty Bar from the oats he just rolled in. His nails only stay short if he runs windsprints on cement. Newman gets a bath once a month, he's blow-dryed, moussed and professionally styled by "Dimitri". As a final touch he is spritzed with "Eau My Dog" body spray.
5. A country dog is permitted to "roam the land". He can wander and explore the countryside, the ponds and creeks, he visits with the other country dogs who are also meandering through the woods and he chases the deer, the ducks and anything else in a five mile radius encroaching upon his "backyard". He always finds his way home at dinnertime, but he is mysteriously missing a tooth. Newman gets lost from our basement to our main level and trips on air.
6. A city dog is usually transported with great care. He is put in the back of a Jeep/SUV with a wire partition placed across the seats to keep him from jumping into the front. Or, for the car owner, there are doggie seatbelts and harnesses for safety. The ultimate in protection is to place your dog in his kennel in your vehicle. A country dog calls shotgun. Period.
7. A country dog gets to eat just about anything. His dinner is usually supplemented with peeled potato scraps, gristle from the barbecue, meat loaf, toast dipped in egg yolk, Jimmy Dean sausage and anything you drop on the floor that fails the 5-second rule. Newman eats a holistic brand of kibble and boiled rice for his sensitive stomach. However, both city and country dogs will run you over to devour a pile of horse or cow poop. I don't know what the secret ingredient is that makes this so appealing to dogs, but all the land is a buffet and Seabiscuit and Buttercup are the chefs.
8. Finally, city dogs require a great deal of affection. They love to be pampered, praised, petted, hugged and smooched on the nose. If not, they consult their pet psychologists about their "needy" behaviour and self-worth issues. By contrast, country dogs think you're smothering them if you scratch their ears and mutter "Atta boy".
All in all, Newman loved being in the country and he slept for three days after I brought him home. He was dirty, he smelled like pond scum and he needed a Tic Tac, but there's one thing that doesn't change from the city to the country: The love, care, loyalty and protection of a good Bud.
Dee Clair
Calgary, Alberta