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Thread: Anxiety, Fear

  1. #1
    Puppy
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    Anxiety, Fear

    Hello all We just adopted our 2 year old chocolate, Daisy, on Sunday. She's incredibly sweet, and VERY smart.

    She was left in the backyard a lot with one other dog, and her owner had actually moved out of the house and left the dogs there. He came back to give them water and food.

    She has calmed down a lot since Sunday but she still follows me a lot, and when my husband calls her or interacts with her she submits and falls to the floor. She completely fears him, and he hasn't even raised his voice with her.

    Any good books or sites or advice to help us make Daisy feel secure here and with my husband?

    She has a "night night" kennel for a safe space, and we give her treats frequently as well as play time and walks to help burn nervous energy.


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  2. #2
    House Broken
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    Give her time and treats. Every interaction with hubby needs to be positive. Have him get down on her level with treats and let her come to him. She will come around give her time. Vic

  3. #3
    Chief Pooper Scooper JenC's Avatar
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    What if your husband is the one to feed her?

  4. #4
    Senior Dog POPTOP's Avatar
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    Poor baby!

    She still needs adjustment time. If possible, have your hubby do the feedings, treats, short, very positive, walks. Sometimes it hard for a man, but he needs to be in puppy party mode with praise and love. Just sitting on the floor or outside, not paying attention to the dog, with treats and let the dog approach him. To start, just giving a treat and move on to touching and petting. If there is a favorite toy, that can be shared too. It will happen.
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  5. #5
    Senior Dog Labradorks's Avatar
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    Have the husband leave her alone, ignore her. Let her be the one to decide when he is safe. You can't force a dog to not be afraid. The more he is just there, the more acclimated she will become, but it takes time. Don't force it, even nicely or with food, don't try to talk her into it. Give her a choice and let her warm up to him on her own time and until then, have husband respect some fairly large boundaries. Eventually she'll come around, I'm sure.

  6. #6
    Senior Dog Tanya's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Labradorks View Post
    Have the husband leave her alone, ignore her. Let her be the one to decide when he is safe. You can't force a dog to not be afraid. The more he is just there, the more acclimated she will become, but it takes time. Don't force it, even nicely or with food, don't try to talk her into it. Give her a choice and let her warm up to him on her own time and until then, have husband respect some fairly large boundaries. Eventually she'll come around, I'm sure.
    this. he can gently toss high valu treats in her directly sometimes during the day from a distance. no eye contact. maybe after a few days he can be the one to put the food bowl down (no eye contact, put it down and leave). but as hard as it is he needs to stop trying to engage her. she will come on her own time. first she needs to just get used to him being around.

  7. #7
    Senior Dog Jeff's Avatar
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    My sister adopted a dog a couple years ago that was very much like this. The problem is if you coddle the behavior and misreading the behavior, so honestly when he comes up she probably just wants some petting or loving. Which if he gives her attention when she does this then your just reinforcing the behavior. She gets what she wants because she is being submissive. My sisters lab is still like this to new people or people she hasn't seen in a while. Best thing you can do or your husband can do is if you want this behavior to change don't reward it.

    So for example my sister really had a problem with this because she used a tie out for her at first since they didn't know her didn't want her to run away and so when it was time to come in the house they would reach down to unhook her and she would flop over on her back. Which again they would pet her and praise her and then unhook her. Well this is what she learned to do, ok but after a while they really do not want to do this every single time they let her in and out. Which ok so don't. I mean I totally understand she had a rough upbringing and you feel bad, I feel bad for her too. However, this is training, your house your rules. I quickly cured her of doing this with me in an afternoon. Not with them but with me, until they changed their behavior their dog wasn't going to change its. How I changed it with me was I walked over to her to unhook her, she would lay down all submissive I would just walk away. Fine your going to lay down you don't get off the lead. 5 minutes later, I would walk over to her, she laid down, I walked away. Progressively got closer and closer, to where when I reached my hand out she would lay down. This went on for about half an hour 45 minutes finally one time I walked over she just watched me I unhooked her she stayed standing and then as soon as I unhooked her I told her Oh your such a good girl and went to pet her and love her up she started to lay down to get loved up so I stood up and went my own way. Later that day she was outside again I went over to unhook her her she immediately laid down, so I walked away. went back 5 minutes later she let me unhook her and then praise and loving until she started to lay down again.

    My sister struggled with this because well it seems cruel, but really you are giving her praising and loving and everything when you get the behavior you want. They do learn. To this day that lab still lays down to get unhooked from my sister, which then pets her and so on. Everyone else in the family she stays standing for, she still tries with them to lay down once in a while but when she does they just walk away, tough. It not really hard, you just need to be consistent and patient and loving and understanding. Your changing a behavior that she has learned gets her comfort and love. When you take the comfort and love away from that behavior and give it to another behavior then that behavior becomes the new norm. If she is acting this way when he is actively approaching her like looking at her. Then have her just standing around in the house and have him walk by her several times without looking at her. She probably doesn't lay down and become submissive. Have him keep doing this. Then every now and then when he starts walking by just reach down give her some petting until she starts to lay down, then carry on and walk away. Pretty soon she will learn that if she wants petting and loving all she needs to do is stay standing.

  8. #8
    Senior Dog Labradorks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff View Post
    My sister adopted a dog a couple years ago that was very much like this. The problem is if you coddle the behavior and misreading the behavior, so honestly when he comes up she probably just wants some petting or loving. Which if he gives her attention when she does this then your just reinforcing the behavior. She gets what she wants because she is being submissive. My sisters lab is still like this to new people or people she hasn't seen in a while. Best thing you can do or your husband can do is if you want this behavior to change don't reward it.

    So for example my sister really had a problem with this because she used a tie out for her at first since they didn't know her didn't want her to run away and so when it was time to come in the house they would reach down to unhook her and she would flop over on her back. Which again they would pet her and praise her and then unhook her. Well this is what she learned to do, ok but after a while they really do not want to do this every single time they let her in and out. Which ok so don't. I mean I totally understand she had a rough upbringing and you feel bad, I feel bad for her too. However, this is training, your house your rules. I quickly cured her of doing this with me in an afternoon. Not with them but with me, until they changed their behavior their dog wasn't going to change its. How I changed it with me was I walked over to her to unhook her, she would lay down all submissive I would just walk away. Fine your going to lay down you don't get off the lead. 5 minutes later, I would walk over to her, she laid down, I walked away. Progressively got closer and closer, to where when I reached my hand out she would lay down. This went on for about half an hour 45 minutes finally one time I walked over she just watched me I unhooked her she stayed standing and then as soon as I unhooked her I told her Oh your such a good girl and went to pet her and love her up she started to lay down to get loved up so I stood up and went my own way. Later that day she was outside again I went over to unhook her her she immediately laid down, so I walked away. went back 5 minutes later she let me unhook her and then praise and loving until she started to lay down again.

    My sister struggled with this because well it seems cruel, but really you are giving her praising and loving and everything when you get the behavior you want. They do learn. To this day that lab still lays down to get unhooked from my sister, which then pets her and so on. Everyone else in the family she stays standing for, she still tries with them to lay down once in a while but when she does they just walk away, tough. It not really hard, you just need to be consistent and patient and loving and understanding. Your changing a behavior that she has learned gets her comfort and love. When you take the comfort and love away from that behavior and give it to another behavior then that behavior becomes the new norm.
    Reinforcing fear is a myth. You cannot reinforce a feeling, only a behavior in which a dog has control over. Yes, you can change the dog's reaction to the fear, but you're not changing the feeling. In the case of the OP, she wants to change the conditioned emotional response (CER) that the dog has toward the husband. What does it matter if the dog is fearful but maintains a sit instead of laying down? Sure, you fixed the dog's position, but you certainly did not make the dog change her mind about how she feels.

  9. #9
    Senior Dog Jeff's Avatar
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    Exactly and my point is how do you know it is fear, so many people incorrectly think a dog rolls over on their back and gets submissive because of fear. A scared dog is actually going to be more aggressive and defensive in nature. Your going to see warning signs and responsive that the dog is scare. Nothing is going to cure fear but time and learning to trust, nothing. Now admittedly new home, new place, sure she is going to be uneasy and probably trying to learn her role in her new place.

    Submissive behavior is not generally fear, there may be some worry and apprehension, but not the fear, oh I see a man I am going to roll over and take what ever he does. That is just submissive behavior.

    However, the behavior of every time the husband interacts she goes submissive, if he keeps interacting with her especially pleasantly then that behavior becomes the learned and conditioned behavior and it will continue forever. I am not talking about reinforcing fear, I am talking about reinforcing the submissive behavior. The only way to change that behavior is through training and ignoring the submissive mode. then praise and joy when you get the mode you want.

    Its honestly quite a very simple test for them to do as well. If the husband approaches her and she gets all submissive, he just simply turns around and walks away not saying a word or anything. If she gets up looks at him like well thats odd. Well then you know very quickly it is nothing to do with fear, but more this is how she has been conditioned to respond. Which is what you need to change.
    Last edited by Jeff; 06-09-2017 at 02:32 PM.

  10. #10
    Best Friend Retriever Java's Avatar
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    Will Daisy accept food from your husband & eat it? Does he have to put it on the floor before she'll eat it?

 



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