Can you offer advice on a horrible decision?

[Bridget]

Oh no, what a crappy position to be in! You have received several good suggestion here and I have nothing else to offer. Good luck.

[3ChocMom]

Ugh, I am so sorry for you. What a terrible situation. I don't think microchips, etc. matter when you're married unfortunately. Dogs are still legally property and would be treated as such in court. However, if I were you, I'd still do everything I possibly could to keep Moby. I honestly can't understand your husband's feelings about the dogs. If I had a dog prior to a marriage and obtained a new dog with my spouse, then we broke up, the old dog would come with me, no question! We could fight about the new dog, but the old dog would be MINE. If he really loved Moby, he wouldn't be so nonchalant in saying he'll take one or the other.

My advice may not work for you, but I'll throw it out anyway. I was in a similar situation about 6 years ago, though I was not married to the guy I was breaking up with. Brandy was his dog, she is a puppy out of a litter he bred and all her papers/medical records were in his name. But she had always been my dog. He even used to say to me, "Tell YOUR dog to stop barking," etc. I don't even think he liked her all that much. But, to him, dogs were his livelihood, tools of his trade, not cherished family members like they are to me. However, I always knew if it didn't work out with us, I would take Brandy. So when it happened, I just told him I was taking her and he didn't fight me. I made him sign over her AKC papers immediately. I'm glad I did it that way because things eventually got pretty nasty. There was even one time, while I was at work, that he called me and threatened to take her to the pound (this was before I had a chance to move out). So I totally think if I had waited to make him sign the papers, he would have tried to keep her just to hurt me. I'm a fighter though, especially when it comes to my dogs, and even though Brandy was legally his, if he had tried to keep her, I would have fought tooth and nail, legal standing be damned. Is there something else he might want more than the dogs? I know this is an emotional time and you are very upset, but my advice would be to start thinking about what you CAN do and not what you can't or might not be able to do. Talk to a lawyer, think about it. You know him very well after being with him for so long, you just have to put the hurt feelings aside and use that knowledge.

[MontananDakota]

I think that maybe you should go see an attorney-just go find out what they think....and then offer him ANY other marital possession IN EXCHANGE for the dogs-both dogs. AND offer him $ too.
Don't give up. Please see an attorney.

[Maxx&Emma]

I think that maybe you should go see an attorney-just go find out what they think....and then offer him ANY other marital possession IN EXCHANGE for the dogs-both dogs. AND offer him $ too.
Don't give up. Please see an attorney.

I agree with this approach but I would give up almost anything I own for my dogs, not everyone feels this way. I am sorry but you husband is an ass to even think this way. His lack of responsibility with the dogs is very telling. Stay strong but you need to get pro-active now!

[Georgie]

Oh I misread and thought Moby was your dog before you meet.


I wonder whether your partner was planning this separation prior to getting this new puppy and that rather than getting a puppy for you for when Moby passes it was because he was already planning to leave and take Moby as his companion for his life of exile.

I do think Voodoo made a good point that after some consideration you may need to choose an option that may not be as bad as initially thought. Trying to work out a situation that is a win-win for both of you.

Have you asked what dog he wants and why? Without any information and ascertaining his intentions and motivations you can't really do much.

[shellbell]

Do you think he is only wanting to take one of the dogs, b/c he knows it will upset you?

[MontananDakota]

I agree with this approach but I would give up almost anything I own for my dogs, not everyone feels this way. I am sorry but you husband is an ass to even think this way. His lack of responsibility with the dogs is very telling. Stay strong but you need to get pro-active now!

Yes he is an ass. The fact that he wants "a dog" never specifying which one, never taking the lead in their care, he sounds an awful like someone else I know. Which is why I suggested offering him ANY OTHER marital possession IN exchange for BOTH dogs.

When you're in a community property situation, you've got to divide everything you own together up between the 2 of you, or else a judge will do it for you-is that correct? This is why I'd say take the lead now & offer whatever else may be of value to him.

[doubledip1]

Sending you mojo and prayers.

[lovemylabby]

I am also thinking that if your husband truly loved Moby...he would take his best interest to heart and would not want to disrupt his life at his age.

I would avoid COURT if possible...because the judge will look at the dogs as "property" and make his decision.

Do anything to make this work in your favor...as someone else suggested here...give up something else that appeals to your husband...offer money..anything.

I would gladly give up material things in exchange for my dog...anyday!

Good luck to you...and I am sorry this is happening.

[lovemylabby]

Do you think he is only wanting to take one of the dogs, b/c he knows it will upset you?

This may be true. I have seen this happen.

I have seen some breakups where one person has even done harm to the dog..just to seek revenge...which is absolutely horrific..