Not touching that with a ten foot pole.

We've known pretty much for forever that my grandparents' estate goes to their children. There are only two of them. You would think that would be pretty straightforward.

Leave it to my family though to go to war over, I kid you not, whether or not to spend money on an actual funeral for my grandmother and whether or not to list the names of the great great grandchildren in the obituary. First round was she'll be cremated, there's already a gravestone and she'll be buried with her husband who passed several years ago. But my aunt has pushed back and now there's an ambiguous announcement from the funeral home about a potential future graveside service on an unknown date. The original online obituary stated that my grandmother has two great great grandchildren and listed their names. They are on my uncle's side. Now the online obituary states that she has two great great grandchildren and their names are not listed. Neither of these situations are accurate. My mother has a great grandchild but she disowned my brother so I guess my grand nephew just doesn't exist. That's unfortunate because he's just as cute as can be.

Looks like all out war. I'm just glad I live 2500 miles away right now.

It is terrible what happens to a family with the loss of a parent or grandparent. Sometimes it is better off making out a will and letting a lawyer take care of your wishes.

How timely is your post! Just yesterday I want to the funeral home and started the paperwork, getting all info, for what DH and I want as far as funeral arrangements. ALL our wishes are being put in writing and paid for. Not something the younger generation wants to think about but it should be done. Think about it this way: cost of funerals are horrific and rising, and by paying for everything now and locking it in, even if (I hope) we live another 20 years we have paid for our final expenses in a contract that cannot be changed. Of course, if after our deaths, a family member wants to "add" something it's on their tab. Along with that, our wills have put down in detail what is to be done, who gets what. No arguments, this is the way it is going to be.

I have, of course, talked with all the involved parties. They may not agree with everything, but this is what we want and have planned ahead for, paid for, so that they don't have to worry about what to do in a very stressful time.

BTW, we are now part of the Dignity network for veterans. This means that I was presented with all the paperwork, contacts, etc., for proper planning for internment at Arlington. It also means that if we ever move, our contract can/will be transferred to the closest funeral home in the network at no additional cost at all.

Sorry your family is going through this. They need to set aside their wants and think of what the deceased would want.