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It's been a while
I haven't been on in two years, due to life and work and all the things in between. I relied on this board heavily (reading mostly) when Osiris, my beautiful chocolate lab, was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 9. Since then we have had two more wonderful, amazing years. Snuggles and laughs and zooms to pick up any scrap of food left behind. I am sitting with her on the bathroom floor, head in my lap, the house dark and my wife sleeping. I am terrified that we may be at the end of our journey together. She has been vomiting the last few days, which is not always unusual for her. This morning, she started breathing heavily, like she couldn't get a full breath. We ran to the vet for x-rays and blood work and all was well, except for her white blood count and her potassium. They gave us an antibiotic and said to monitor her as they suspected an infection. She has since stopped eating, drinking, and going to the bathroom. Not even a piece of the previously most coveted beef jerky could interest her. I am so lost. I am so scared. I have spent most of today crying and feeling like I want to crawl out of my own skin. I am hoping with all my might that she will feel better tomorrow, or the vet will have answers and a fix when we go back in. But in my heart of hearts, I feel like we are going to have to make the hardest but kindest decision and I am not ready. I will never be ready.
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I am so very sorry. I know that nothing anybody else can say will ease your pain. This is one of the absolutely hardest things that most of us have ever had to experience and it's always horrible...sometimes worse than others. And when something bad continues to happen over a course of time, it's the worst. I, too, hope that Osiris will be able to rally...but it does sound bleak at this point.
Remember that she can pick up on your emotions so you want to be as strong as possible in her presence. Give yourself permission to let go when you're not around her. Put on the best face you can for the vet visit and just hold her. Let her feel your strength and take comfort in that. She knows you will do the best thing possible for her...she depends on you. If it turns out to be her final visit, tell her that there will be no more pain or fear...it'll be OK (or whatever you always say to reassure her). And don't be embarrassed to cry in front of the vet and staff. You are so not alone with your reactions.
For whatever it may be worth, I feel as if I've truly absorbed some of your pain while thinking of you and typing this...and I'm sending you some strength to help you through this.
Let us ride this out with you. People are scarcer on here over weekends/holidays, but you still have a lot of shoulders to lean on. Most of us have been in your situation at least once if not over and over again. We're definitely here for you. Remember us when you're at the vet. And after.
:image019:
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I am sorry for you, but glad for Osiris that she has you to look out for her.
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Thank you guys for your kind words. I fell asleep around 5 and my wife woke up to her having a seizure. We took her to the ER vet and sent her on her way and I feel like I will never be okay again. Please tell me this gets better eventually.
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Im very sorry its is heart wrenching it gets easier and you will never forget her. Run free sweet girl
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I'm sorry it ended this way. Yes, some of the hurt recedes with time...try to not focus on the last few days, but rather on the lifelong memories you've made with her up to this point. She knew you'd take care of things...she took comfort in that. I firmly believe that that feeling of security goes a long way to easing otherwise negative sensations. She had you with her to the end.
Let yourself grieve in whatever way feels right to you, for as long as it takes. Stay with us...let us help. :image019:
Rest in Peace, Osiris....Run Free, sweet girl....
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I’m so sorry. We had to let our Kimber go in late January. It’s so hard. Eventually, your memories will give you comfort, but give yourself the room and time to grieve.
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I feel for you, it is heart wrenching. You did what you could for your dog and at least it didn't linger on and on so to speak...She was lucky to have you and of course vice versa!
Take care.
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I am really sorry. May she run free.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find comfort in all the wonderful memories. She was lucky to have you care for her and to love her until the end. Hugs your way.