Yes, she has certainly trained you because every time you give in and feed her you have reinforced the behavior. And the more reinforced it has been, the harder it will be to extinguish. While I agree that you should definitely try other methods first, I did successfully use citronella bark collars on my two youngest dogs when they were about that age. Not so much for barking in the middle of the night, although once they were used to it, I did use it that way on Sass a couple of times. It was mostly for needing them to be quiet in their crates while I was working their mother in class. Being there by myself and out on the floor with the older dog meant I couldn’t be right there to deal with them (either to correct the noise or reinforce the quiet), and letting them bark it out would have been disruptive to the rest of the class. Our training center offering limited class times and being 40 minutes away means that I had to take them on the same night and let them wait. It really only took a couple of times before they figured it out and quieted down. I was able to discontinue use entirely after a couple months.
My point is just that if nothing else works, I don’t think they’re necessarily dangerous or will automatically make the puppy hate the crate. The citronella ones are in my opinion much better for a puppy than a shock collar - they don’t hurt, just spray an odor that most dogs seem to find offensive. My trainer is currently using one of our old ones on her border collie pup for exactly the same scenario .... she isn’t catching on as quickly as my Labs, though, so by the end of the night the place smells quite summery (it’s the same stuff in all-natural mosquito repellant candles).