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  1. #11
    Senior Dog WhoopsaDaisy's Avatar
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    If it were me, I would make it clear that Bella is my baby and should be treated with love and care. Have a talk with him, explain how you feel and what needs to change.
    I agree with Fran, you and your husband need to have a talk with the kids together also. It's totally normal for kids to be overwhelmed with a puppy. It's up to you to teach them how to interact with a puppy. Just putting her in the kennel with the son is around won't teach them anything.
    Your husband and stepson need to be involved with the dog's care. Use it as a learning opportunity for the kids - and be good examples. I think your husband and/or stepson should take Bella to training classes.
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  2. #12
    Puppy
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    Thank you all, it's a truly horrible situation to be in. I feel sick. Please pray for this to get better.

    I don't like talking behind my husband's back for sure, but I need help. My stepson has some other things going on with him that I didn't want to address here. He was great with Hershey but not interested in the active puppy. I just did not see this coming.

    Thank you all for listening and please don't think I'm crazy. I just love my Bella and want the best for her. Good people here.

  3. #13
    Senior Dog Sandra's Avatar
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    It's an awful situation and I wish I could help. Just know that I am wishing you and Bella the best.

  4. #14
    Real Retriever Moby and Barley's Mom's Avatar
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    So - it is obviously not so easy to kick your husband (or the kids) to the curb because he (they) do not like the dog. I understand this as I am going through a divorce right now - and it is hell and I am fighting to keep the dogs as my husband does NOTHING for them other than a pet once in a while. But - at least he likes them - just never walks, plays with, feeds, cleans up after, etc. You understand - having gone through it before - it sounds like and of course - you have to put the people family perhaps before the dog family. I find it hard to understand how someone could not love almost everything about a lab puppy (especially a kid - labs are so perfect for children) - but I do remember that I was a bit unsure of our new puppy when we first got him - as I LOVE LOVE LOVE my older 13 year old dog SOOO much (as you know from your dog Hershey) and felt almost as if he was taking too much attention away from my Moby. But - I quickly grew to love him like crazy despite how he makes life a bit more challenging at times. This is a pretty serious subject - and I agree - that a really big family meeting is in order. Most likely -Bella will forever remain your dog - and you will be responsible for the majority of the dog's care. Perhaps, as she gets older, the family will learn to love having her around more. I cannot imagine having to give her back - but that is a decision that you may have to make unless your husband or a child can get on board with helping with care. If it were me - I would have had a rosy picture in my head of how my new family would love the new puppy and play with her and love her, etc. Unfortunately - it is not this way - so a mental readjustment is in order - as hard as that is!

    Please please - keep us updated as to the situation with Bella. I am really feeling for you.
    Forever in my heart - Sweet gentle Moby - lover of belly rubs, bacon, and Barbara 9-10-2001 to 11-2-2015

  5. #15
    Best Friend Retriever xracer4844's Avatar
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    The way a man treats an animal says a lot about the kind of person he is...

    I would absolutely remove her from the home...or remove yourself. Labs are family dogs. Having people in the home shun the pup is certainly not going to help in her development. Being locked up while people are home (separated from joining the pack) is emotionally difficult on the dog in my opinion. It's certainly no way to raise a dog - regardless if you spend a lot of time with it. Dog ownership is massive responsibility. If a family isn't ready to accept care of a pup, accept it as part of the family, offer it the best life you possibly can - then that pup has no business living with you. I'm sorry but I truly think that is the truth, and not too many breeders would disagree with me.

    I understand how much you love your dog. I surround myself with them. I work with them. Compete with them. My working dog lives with my girlfriend and I. He is apart of our family. We built our house with him in mind. We move our schedules to accommodate his needs. We bought cars to accommodate his needs. We include him in every aspect of our lives. He is surrounded by love from both our families, our teammates, our friends and colleagues. This is how a lab wants to live their life. In an environment where they can be happy, be excited, play, and receive as much love and care as we can possibly give.

    I respect you tremendously for your love of your pup. I understand how difficult it is. I don't think it's realistic to keep her under those living circumstances though. I understand that you want to continue training and working with your pup to get her to a level that your family will accept. I get that. I train with my boy every day - work with our team a few nights a week, train search and rescue a few times a week. Our schedule is full. Training never ends. If my girlfriend wasn't 100% behind us, I can't imagine what she would think about how much time I'd be out of the house with our boy. I'm so lucky that she comes to every practice. Every competition. Every show.

    I respect you so much for wanting to work and keep your dog, but you need to get your family on board. If they have no interest, then my answer to your problem would be to return your pup to the breeder.

  6. The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to xracer4844 For This Useful Post:

    Berna (01-11-2015), beth101509 (01-09-2015), coopersmom (01-13-2015), Dallas dawg (01-10-2015), doubledip1 (01-09-2015), happy_blackbird (01-10-2015), Jollymolly (01-09-2015), kimbersmom (01-09-2015), Meeps83 (01-09-2015), Moby and Barley's Mom (01-09-2015), POPTOP (01-09-2015), sheltieluver (01-09-2015), SnappinSami (01-20-2015), SoapySophie (01-09-2015), SunDance (01-09-2015), Tanya (01-09-2015)

  7. #16
    Senior Dog Jollymolly's Avatar
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    I would be very alarmed by your husbands behaior. What will happen when you do something he does not like. I once dated a guy that showed my dogs minimal attention. He asked me to Marry him and there was no way I would.

    In my eyes there are only two options remove the pup for her sake. If your husband can not understand how cruel he is being or change his lack of care of a living thing I would remove him for your sake. Just my opinion and not trying to be harsh.

  8. #17
    Real Retriever Archie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenebekka View Post
    H I guess I am too sensitive or something...it just hurts to watch this go on in my family when we have this beautiful and loving family member. I suppose I need to remember that not everyone in the world is wired to love dogs or animals in general as deeply.

    Thank you for letting me write this...please be gentle as this is very difficult for me.

    Jenny
    I don't have anything to add in terms of suggestions, but just wanted to respond to this part in particular. You are NOT being too sensitive. This behaviour from family, particularly my husband, would be a SERIOUS issue for me, and I'm guessing for most people here. My heart goes out to you.
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  10. #18
    Senior Dog POPTOP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChoppersDad View Post
    No way that is the case. Fear of getting too close is no excuse for animal cruelty.
    Oh, I totally agree. I was just wondering if he was keeping the new pup at a distance to keep from being hurt. That does not excuse abuse.

  11. #19
    House Broken TooLabs's Avatar
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    Probably going to draw criticism ( but I am very happily single with a menagerie of animals including 2 labs)-- but might I suggest just getting rid of the husband and kids!

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  13. #20
    Senior Dog kelsyg's Avatar
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    ^ I'm with TooLabs, because if you rehouse Bella, I think you will always be resentful and sad at the loss and the emptiness will remind you of behavior of your husband. It will make you see him in a different way, forever.
    I would have a serious talk with my husband and tell him so. Maybe when you tell him how disappointed you are in his behavior he will change it. I hope so.
    My husband of 35 years, knows, without ever asking, who I would choose!
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