Family troubles with puppy

[Bess]

I’ve only just seen this post, so i hope its not too late to put my 5 cents worth in.

Firstly, I can totally relate on the love you have for Bella, I mean that’s something pretty much all of us understand on here. I also don’t think re-homing her is the way to go, but that is just my opinion. She is a puppy and if a grown person, such as your husband in this case, cannot understand that, then I personally would do some re-thinking on my marriage. Bella is a puppy, who has been taken from her mother, her siblings, and now she looks to you and your family for protection. Is that so hard for him to grasp??? I’m not even going to try to understand how the desire to protect and care for such a tiny creature isn’t coming naturally to him, but each to their own.

Its not like you asked your husband to move half way across the world and live under a bridge for Gods sake, sorry, I sound a tad angry here, but not towards you JeneBekka, you obviously have a heart of gold and love animals. But seriously. Leaving her in her own urine, that’s not the kind of person I would want to even talk to! That’s just cruel.

I have glanced through other peoples comments, and agree with those that suggest not to rehome her, that’s not possible anyway, as she HAS a home with a loving mother such as yourself. But one thing I wanted to ask is this: is there perhaps a sense of jealousy from each family member going on here? Puppies need a lot of attention, and for good reason, we get them at just 8 weeks old mostly, they are tiny little things. Bar your little girl; she perhaps does feel that Bella gets a lot of attention to, but for good reasons, she’s just a child. But your husband most certainly not, and your 10 year old son also not, unless he is following suit.

If this is the case, then they will get over it. Please don’t re-home Bella. When we give a home to an animal, it should be for life, and we made a promise, to love them and take care of them, no matter what. That is what they do for us, endlessly, without compromise, and it should be the same for us.

A while back, my life changed completely. I didn’t have a job, and life was tough. I did have thoughts in my head to give my Bessie to a family that could provide for what she needed. I admit that. BUT I never did, because I knew, that nobody else could give her me, and the love I had for her. She and Zoe came first, because they were my responsibility, Zoe still is. No matter what. When my ex and I broke up after 13 years; he wanted nothing to do with Bess. And he was actually her “person”. She suffered a lot. But time heals. But its me that can sleep well at night knowing I gave her all the love she could ever want and need, and know that I never let her down. That is a gift with no price tag. Some people just cant give “unconditional” love, I’m happy that I am not one of those people.
Like yourself, we also brought a new pup into our lives, fairly shortly after we lost Bess. My husband knew her for just 4 months, but that changes nothing, she was and is a part of OUR life. He misses her too. For me it’s a bit different. Life has changed and will never be the same without Bess. I miss her more than I can put down in words. So I know, as others do, how you feel, and having someone to share that grief with is paramount, no matter who it is. But Tilly has brought joy to our lives now. And there is nothing and nobody that could ever take that away. It’s a decision both of us made, and one neither of us regrets. We love her with all her puppy behaviour, biting and all the rest that comes with this natural process of "growing up"....as we love all our pets, and it will always be that way…unconditional until the end.

I hope this helps and please keep us updated whatever the outcome.

[beth101509]

The OP hasn't been back on since 1/9/15 (if I read that correctly), hopefully things have improved for her.

[Maxx&Emma]

When I was very young my grandfather told me the following: "Never trust a man that mistreats or.does not respect animals". This has stuck with me for a very long time and I have found it to be very true. I hate to say this because you need and deserve support more than anything but if he was my husband he would find himself quickly single and homeless. If that was not an option I would return the puppy to the breeder for her own well being and safety. Protecting the puppy needs to be your first priority. I am so sorry you are dealing with such a difficult situation. Sending you prayers of comfort and support.

[emma_Dad]

"Never trust a man that mistreats or.does not respect animals".

100% agree!
Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes "The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated."- Mahatma Gandhi

[Zookeepermom247]

Hello,
Your husband and step son appear to not care what you want. This is a huge red flag. Ten year old boys usually love dogs.. many don't and those that don't have major issues. If someone leaves an animal in its own urine... then this is telling me he has no empathy. This is bad.. because if he does not feel for this sweet baby... then he won't feel for anyone else. People are noted and judged for their behaviors. If this was to have happened to me.. and I am sure perhaps your husband may have other red flags in other areas of the empathy department, I would either leave or ask him to leave. If he or you do not want to separate, then do what is best for Bella... give her to a loving family who will love her, keep her clean, train her, hug and kiss her all the time, spoil her rotten, and make sure she gets to potty to her heart's content outside... with a family who praises her and loves her. YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO HAVE A "TALK" with him. YOU can't teach empathy..

Good luck,
Sophie's mom

[windycanyon]

When I was very young my grandfather told me the following: "Never trust a man that mistreats or.does not respect animals". This has stuck with me for a very long time and I have found it to be very true. I hate to say this because you need and deserve support more than anything but if he was my husband he would find himself quickly single and homeless. If that was not an option I would return the puppy to the breeder for her own well being and safety. Protecting the puppy needs to be your first priority. I am so sorry you are dealing with such a difficult situation. Sending you prayers of comfort and support.

Yes, it was one incident of my ex mistreating (taking his frustrations out on) one of my labs years ago that was the final straw in the marriage. I showed him the door.

[katALlabs]

The OP hasn't been back on since 1/9/15 (if I read that correctly), hopefully things have improved for her.

Sadly you are correct Beth and she's be on here since the crash. Sadly there has been others who have come in here looking for help and we never hear from them again too. One can only hope and pray all is well with them and will be back soon.