Ugh...Think Baron is scared of me, from unintentional raising my voice while using commands.

[Bubby82102]

Hey All...

One of the other things that started with Baron a couple days ago now..is he totally quit being affectionate to me. There have been a few times Baron has come at me with the growling, lunging, biting, etc..for sometimes over an hour straight before he wears out. During those times without even realizing it, while using the commands, I think I raised my voice to him, probably a low yell. It's been since then, all of a sudden the only thing he does with me now is bite. With my wife, he has already learned his boundaries. He gives the kids kisses, on the face, neck, arms, hands..same with my wife..but he has totally quit with me. When my wife plays tug of war with him, she gives him a kiss on the nose in the middle of it, and he wags his tale. I tried this tactic today, and as soon as I got my face down close to his, he started growling. He wasn't growling while we were playing tug of war. He doesn't growl when my wife does the same thing. So, I've been really watching myself today and yesterday after I talked to my wife about it and she told me that I get excitable and stressed when he comes at me for long periods of time. I'm worried, now, that I've damaged the relationship I have with him. Sigh...thoughts? I'm open to being hammered with criticisms if I deserve them. I'll learn from it.

Thanks

Bubby

[beth101509]

Dogs can sense things that we don't realize we are sharing. Such as emotions. He can probably sense that you are stressed from what you feel is him treating you differently than he treats your wife. I have learned that I need to take deep breaths when Oliver starts to make my blood pressure rise because he is less likely to listen to me when I get upset than when I am calmer. I raise my voice often to Oliver, my husband, the TV....Oliver doesn't treat me any differently from one day to the next. The only time he acts differently is when I get agitated or don't stay calm. Deep down calm, not just on the surface calm. Just relax around Baron, you will see a difference.

[rochie427]

Don't yell but use a firm voice when asking Baron to do something. My husband had a habit of raising his voice with our Rosie and our trainer had told him no yelling just firm voice. When you get excitable and stressed the dog picks up on that and can make things worse.

I know it's hard not to get frustrated/angry but you need to be patient and consistency is the key.

[AlexS]

First thing you need to do is RELAX! Nothing is damaged. It is a puppy. They are going to go through different phases with both of you. Personally I wouldn't stick my face in a puppies face while playing though. Never know when a puppy will release and nip your nose. If he is biting and going crazy then put him in his crate until he calms down. When Gus was a puppy we put him in the hall between 2 baby gates until he calmed down.

[Bubby82102]

Thanks friends. Yeah, I'm trying hard. I came from a dysfunctional family of people who all screamed at me regularly, and I was the only child. So, it's ingrained into me. I'm not giving up, and I'll try to relax. I love him already like he's one of my kids

[xracer4844]

I have a little bit of a different opinion about this mainly because my dog is a working dog, not just a pet. I am his handler so I do have the strongest connection with my boy. He doesn't lay on top of me and snuggle, he doesn't get on me and lick me all over, he doesn't do any of those kind of things with me. He does with my girlfriend though. My relationship is different with him and I have no problem with that. I am not offended by it. He has a different respect for me, and I know he will do anything for me. I'm not saying he doesn't like me at all...but he knows how to act with me is different than my girlfriend...if that makes sense.

It is important not to yell...even if you don't mean to. When giving commands, a calm and assertive tone will always yield better results, even if all you want to do is scream and yell. Personally, I don't play tug of war or games like that with my boy. Primarily, our play time consists of nose work, and distance work with the whistle and such. He doesn't view it as work, just games that he gets rewarded for which is exactly how I trained him to work search and rescue.

Are you sure his growls aren't playful? I can get my dog so riled him he growls and bounces from side to side but it's not "growling"...it's just him communicated "come on and get me, come chase me, come play"...

You won't damage your relationship that easily. Dog's aren't spiteful. They don't think like humans in that sense. The best thing I can suggest is to stay calm and assertive when training. Praise for good behavior...that doesn't mean to just give him treats. Give him a nice pat or rub on the body, happy supportive words when correct behaviors are achieved etc. You would be amazed at what a difference happy gross voices can make when training.

I sometimes tease my dog when I know he is in a different frame of mind...I'll put him in a down/stay for example. He will do it and look at me like "really, I just want to go to sleep". I'll look right at him and touch my hands together (like i'm clapping) and say something gross in such a high pitched voice like "what a good little baby boyyyyy" and his mood changes right away to full body wiggles and happiness.

He is just a pup. Remember that. He isn't going to do exactly what you want immediately. It takes work , and time. Labs are capable of anything if you put in the work.

[Labradorks]

Do you play with the dog? Do you train him with positive reinforcement? Or are you always barking orders at him?

You do seemed stressed over a 9 week old puppy's behaviors. Perhaps in your mind you need to put things in perspective: he is a 9 week old puppy. He's been alive for two months. He's been at your house for a week. Also, you may benefit from reading a book about puppies and what you can expect during certain age groups so you know what he's going through mentally and physically and you know what to expect and that what your puppy is doing is not bad, wrong, or unusual.

If the puppy is "going after you" for an hour straight, you're doing something wrong. It's time to take him outside or in a big space and play! Flirtpoles are fun, chase me games (he chases you) are fun, playdates with a trusted dog or puppy are also great. Or you need to get up and walk away before you get angry. Perhaps it's naptime in a crate with a chew toy when this is happening? It's a better option than yelling at him.

Also, have you signed up for class yet? A good instructor will show you how to deal with him, not just with the heel, sit, down, etc. but with behavior as well.

[fidgetyknees]

Just get out there and have fun with your puppy. If I get frustrated with training .... and it happens, I have to remove myself from the situation (because I get pretty PO'd quickly, and I love my dogs dearly and feel guilty after I get mad at them, so I just try and be proactive and just step back and walk away from the situation until I calmed myself).

Anyway it is not the dogs fault that they just don't get it as fast as I am wanting them to, I just have to figure out a different method to get my point across.

9 weeks is pretty young, they bite and they bite like crazy. Dog like to play and they are pack animals, so be their pack, play and be their leader. If he is biting, say AhAhhh, firmly but not harshly, pull him away from what he is biting and give him a toy to divert him.

And sign up for a training class or by a training DVD - maybe someone on this group can suggest a basic obedience DVD.