Help! Incredibly jealous 2 year old lab - meets mom's new boy friend - and is not amused

[Labradorks]

I doubt he is being protective. It's probably new to him to see this and the guy is new and it's a big change. Add some training to your day for mental stimulation. Teach him tricks: spin left and right, chin touch, nose touch, paw whack, etc. There are all kinds of things you can do to help him unwind a bit. He'll just get used to things eventually.

[ZoeysMommy]

Zoey is almost 8 and we got her as a couple when she was 8 weeks old and if we hug to long in front of her she always gets involved, she squeezes right in the middle, something about it makes her excited. I dont think its an issue,

Leave him be, he will adjust to the new BF and if he is naughty at night in bed, crate him. He will eventually get the message if hes naughty at bedtime, he sleeps in the crate

[Piper'sMom]

Piper will be three in September and to this day if I hug anyone longer than 3 seconds she is right there in the middle. We call her "jelly" but all kidding aside I don't know if it is a jealous thing or not. Probably she just wants to remind everyone she is my first love (even though she came after all the people in our family).

For me it's not that big of a deal. We all just work around it, not really a battle I care to fight. She sleeps in her kennel in our room so she can't disturb us in bed so for us it's more of a laughing matter.

Glad you found someone who loves you and Barley.

[Moby and Barley's Mom]

Maybe you can help me with this latest incarnation of terrible Barley behavior? We spent the night at Stephen's house for the first time night before last. I exercised him twice - we took him out - I brought his crate and the mat I move around for him and make him lay on if I am cooking and need him out of the way, etc. I had to force him over and over to lay on the mat while we were eating (this is not terribly unusual - he wants to me around the food when I have company - and I have to repeat the down command) and then after we walked him - he was fine. However - he was NOT fine with being in his crate and out of range of me while we were trying to sleep. He whined and made a fuss all night long (I barely slept) and scratched through a mesh portion of the crate. (He used to sleep in this crate in my bedroom - so it is NOT an unusual thing. He also sleeps in this at his dog sitter's house when I am away for a few days. He then went nuts in the morning when I finally let him out - I exhaustedly walked him - brought him back in - and tried to go back to bed. He wouldn't stop jumping onto the bed - including jumping into it. (He has NEVER been allowed on my bed - ever.) We finally put his sensation harness on him to calm him - which it did - but then he chewed through it. (The third one he has chewed through.) I am back to feeling as though I am the worst dog-mom ever with the most unmannered and untrained dog!
Suggestions?

Piper will be three in September and to this day if I hug anyone longer than 3 seconds she is right there in the middle. We call her "jelly" but all kidding aside I don't know if it is a jealous thing or not. Probably she just wants to remind everyone she is my first love (even though she came after all the people in our family).

For me it's not that big of a deal. We all just work around it, not really a battle I care to fight. She sleeps in her kennel in our room so she can't disturb us in bed so for us it's more of a laughing matter.

Glad you found someone who loves you and Barley.

[Sue]

Personally, to me, he's exhibiting a case of resource guarding. And the resource he's guarding is you. It's not an aggressive form, but it is jealousy.

Here is a good discussion on it, pay particular attention to the part about the new sweetheart.
the Jealous Dog

In a nutshell, the way to work around this is to have the new romantic interest become friends with the dog before moving in together. That means, in your case, have your honey do the feeding, playing, training, walking, etc. I used this method with a cat (mean, cranky, unsociable to everyone but him) of my husband's when I moved in with him, and if it works with a cat, it surely works with an easy going Lab.

Another way is to do a bit of counter conditioning. In other words, give Barley more attention when your friend is there, and kind of ignore him when he's not. Interesting concept, but this way you're not rewarding his behavior and making it so boyfriend not there: good times.

[Tanya]

Maybe you can help me with this latest incarnation of terrible Barley behavior? We spent the night at Stephen's house for the first time night before last. I exercised him twice - we took him out - I brought his crate and the mat I move around for him and make him lay on if I am cooking and need him out of the way, etc. I had to force him over and over to lay on the mat while we were eating (this is not terribly unusual - he wants to me around the food when I have company - and I have to repeat the down command) and then after we walked him - he was fine. However - he was NOT fine with being in his crate and out of range of me while we were trying to sleep. He whined and made a fuss all night long (I barely slept) and scratched through a mesh portion of the crate. (He used to sleep in this crate in my bedroom - so it is NOT an unusual thing. He also sleeps in this at his dog sitter's house when I am away for a few days. He then went nuts in the morning when I finally let him out - I exhaustedly walked him - brought him back in - and tried to go back to bed. He wouldn't stop jumping onto the bed - including jumping into it. (He has NEVER been allowed on my bed - ever.) We finally put his sensation harness on him to calm him - which it did - but then he chewed through it. (The third one he has chewed through.) I am back to feeling as though I am the worst dog-mom ever with the most unmannered and untrained dog!
Suggestions?

curious - does he normally sleep in his crate in your bedroom at home or was this the same kind of arrangement he would normally have at your place (crated in a seperate room).

To be fair, he was in a new place so not terribly unusual he coudln't relax in his crate in a new environment regardless of my question above. but if he was used to sleeping in your room (crated) and he was suddenly not only in a new house but not with you...well it was somewhat predictable he'd put up a fuss.

sorry things are not going terribly smoothly with the integration of your new man and the dogs. Things should improve with some work, hopefully he's a dog lover and understanding/willing to be more active with the pups to help the transition. You will get there though.

[Moby and Barley's Mom]

Thank you! He used to sleep in my room in his crate - and I just took the crate out about 3 months ago since it was so huge and he was doing fine without it. He sleeps in his crate at the dog sitters - with apparently no fuss. But it is all new to him - and we are all being patient - but it is not any good when I am unable to sleep all night long! We'll see - it is all new so hopefully Barley will eventually relax.

curious - does he normally sleep in his crate in your bedroom at home or was this the same kind of arrangement he would normally have at your place (crated in a seperate room).

To be fair, he was in a new place so not terribly unusual he coudln't relax in his crate in a new environment regardless of my question above. but if he was used to sleeping in your room (crated) and he was suddenly not only in a new house but not with you...well it was somewhat predictable he'd put up a fuss.

sorry things are not going terribly smoothly with the integration of your new man and the dogs. Things should improve with some work, hopefully he's a dog lover and understanding/willing to be more active with the pups to help the transition. You will get there though.