Help! Incredibly jealous 2 year old lab - meets mom's new boy friend - and is not amused

[Moby and Barley's Mom]

Oh boy. Maybe this is a crazy topic, but since my divorce two years ago - (which occurred a month after I got Barley) Barley has basically been my primary focus. But now - I have a new person in my life - and Barley is becoming a nightmare. If we are embracing in the kitchen for example - he wedges his head and body between us - jumps all over him - and whines and goes a bit bonkers when we are together at night. We are trying to ignore the behavior (jumping up on us in the bed all night long while we are sleeping, whining and making noises when I am not paying attention to him, etc.)

Any suggestions for this? I recently took him out of his crate - and am thinking that I might need to get it out again. But he is agitated - and that makes me feel really badly and do want to do anything to further get him out of rhythm.

Any suggestions so mom can have a love life?

Thanks!

[arentspowell]

What's his exercise routine like? Has it changed at all since this new person entered your life?

While I think that dogs feel basic emotions, including jealousy, to me this sounds more like a response to a change in his day to day routine. There's a new person here that wasn't here before, that's got to be exciting for Barley! I would up the exercise and go back to NILF. Get your new guy in on the training so that everyone is on the same page. Barley is still very much a puppy at 2 years old.

[POPTOP]

Would your new boyfriend be up to taking total care Barley when he is at your home? He feeds, walks, does training, treats. Be sure he's training the same way you do so as not to confuse. He will then build a bond with Barley and Barley with him.

[Moby and Barley's Mom]

I think a huge portion of it is excitement - a new person to play with! I do think he is bothered and confused by me being in close proximity with someone else. But - you are right - and I did think a bit about this. His routine is a bit changed with Stephen in the house - and I am paying much less attention to him. He had adequate exercise yesterday - but perhaps more is in order when he is around. Barley is currently exhausted from his lack of sleep!

[SunDance]

I agree with Fran.

If Barley's response is what you call "agitated", I'm thinking he might be being more protective than jealous...but not protective to the point of aggressiveness.

My first thought was, "Oh my gosh...has it been two years already???" Anyway, glad you've found someone who makes you happy.

[Moby and Barley's Mom]

I know!!! Can you believe it has been two years! When I first started posting on this site - I was terrified that I was going to lose both of my dogs to my ex-husband. I got so much support from you and from all the other lovely people here. It is nice to have someone in my life - but sort of exhausting! I hope you are well!

I agree with Fran.

If Barley's response is what you call "agitated", I'm thinking he might be being more protective than jealous...but not protective to the point of aggressiveness.

My first thought was, "Oh my gosh...has it been two years already???" Anyway, glad you've found someone who makes you happy.

[Doreen Davis]

Ha! I had a golden retriever named Sam who was the sole focus of my attention as a single working woman (do you remember the old quote about a 40 yo woman having a better chance of being kidnapped by a terrorist than getting married?).

The first time my now DH came over and spent the evening, we had the issue of getting between us etc and then she did the ultimate and escaped the back yard. Was brought back by the police at 2AM. As the routine got more consistent, they became quite close but it took awhile!

At 2, make sure he's getting enough exercise and I agree with Fran, let Stephen do some of the stuff. A car ride with a McDonald's treat might make them friends forever!

[barry581]

I was thinking along the same lines as Fran. Maybe have him take a class with her.

[Snowshoe]

LOL, for me your title ended after the "y" in boyfriend and I thought this would be about a new puppy. You can tell your boyfriend how disappointed I am.

After reading I wondered too, can he do some training with Barley? Just a few exercises at your place or maybe on a walk just the two of them? Or a class but I know I'd feel that might a sign a relationship is moving to a certain level.

What does Barley do when you hug other people? Your Mum, other family, close friends? I bet he has learned to accept them but of course they were in the picture when you got Barley.

[Moby and Barley's Mom]

Ha!

Well - yesterday I had him walk and feed him with me and Barley was maybe a bit better while we were hugging. (I don't really hug my mother or friends as LONG as I might hug him - so Barley does not react - lol! ) Hopefully time will improve things!

LOL, for me your title ended after the "y" in boyfriend and I thought this would be about a new puppy. You can tell your boyfriend how disappointed I am.

After reading I wondered too, can he do some training with Barley? Just a few exercises at your place or maybe on a walk just the two of them? Or a class but I know I'd feel that might a sign a relationship is moving to a certain level.

What does Barley do when you hug other people? Your Mum, other family, close friends? I bet he has learned to accept them but of course they were in the picture when you got Barley.