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  1. #1
    House Broken
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    Apr 2015
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    Northeast
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    It’s been a tough week.

    It’s been about a month since I lost the love of my life. The summary is that he presented with back pain, and then neck and shoulder pain. We were not able to manage this pain no matter what we tried. We gave all the medications he could handle, laser therapy, and acupuncture. Luckily, this only went on for 12 days. We had been to the vet every single day in those 12 days and he just kept getting worse so we’d increase meds, but his pain would answer back. I’ll never know exactly what was going on without and MRI, but the vets assured me that an MRI would not have changed the outcome, as whatever it was was aggressive and probably nasty and not anything I’d want to put him through treatment for. On his last day I woke up and he was a mess. My only option at that point was to admit him to the hospital and keep him on fentanyl, but he wouldn’t be able to go home on fentanyl so I saw that as only a short term solution with little to no point. It killed me to let him go, but I owed it to him to never let him suffer. He was a wonderful companion and my soulmate. This past week I’ve been especially weepy and sad.

    I’ve come to terms with my choice to let him go, because at first I was feeling like maybe I let him down or was taking the easy way out. A note from one of the vets assured me that was not the case, and that helped a lot. But my god, I miss him. There not an hour of the day that I don’t think of him. When do the multiple daily crying outbursts diminish?

  2. #2
    Senior Dog
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    May 2014
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    Here and there
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    I’m so sorry.
    I was crying everyday for three months after Bruno was gone before I slowed down. Then I think the only reason I stopped was because I found Kendal, and he needed me as much as I needed him.



    Hidden Content
    I'm in
    the zone!

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Kleb For This Useful Post:

    Mollysmomma (09-04-2018)

  4. #3
    Senior Dog
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Ellicott City, MD
    Posts
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    I'm so sorry. He knew you'd always be there to keep him safe...his knowledge of that brought him comfort despite the pain. He knew you'd do the best thing for him...and you did. You spared him from further pain and fear. Well cared for dogs know. They just do.

    It's a horrible decision that needs to be made a lot of times. We do what we do for the sake of our pets and then we just deal with our own pain.

    Let us take a bit of your grief...most of us have been there and will be there again. We're here with you.


  5. #4
    Senior Dog
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Williamsburg, Virginia
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    I’m so sorry. We let Kimber go 4 months ago and it broke our hearts. I miss her every day, but the crying is less. I can pet other people’s labs without bursting into tears, at least.

    With grief, it’s okay to not be okay. Gentle hugs.
    Stormageddon, Princess of Darkness, aka "Stormy"
    Birthday 9-13-18, Gotcha Day 11-11-18
    Hidden Content

    Miss Kimber, CGC, 6/15/2005-1/27/2018 forever in our hearts



  6. #5
    Moderator
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    May 2014
    Location
    Greenwood, Delaware
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    So very sorry to hear of your loss. If it helps, I still tear up when I think of the many Labs I've had and lost over the years. The love we have for these dogs goes very deep, and the mourning process can be long and hard. Sadly, it's the price we pay for their unconditional love.

  7. #6
    House Broken
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Northeast
    Posts
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    Thanked: 25
    Thanks everyone. I now own his mom who is 14 and she has been such a comfort. She is also grieving, which is also quiet sad to see. I know I did the right thing for him, but I just miss him so so much. Sometimes it still feels like a bad dream. It’s nice to hear from others who have been through it. I’ve lost dogs before, but this one really has devastated me.

    On another note, I did something crazy and got a puppy. He’s been keeping me busy and has been a good distraction. I didn’t feel ready for a pup, but he became available and is so well behaved, I didn’t want to pass him up and end up with a jerk whenever I feel “ready.” Of course, there were all these emotions about that, too. And now I’m wondering, why the hell do we do this to ourselves?

  8. #7
    Senior Dog smartrock's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Carolina in my mind..
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    Because your heart feels so empty without a furry friend or two traveling through life with us. I made a photo book of our boy who died last summer and still cannot look at it without many tears and a big old lump in my throat. I'm so sorry you had to make that last, loving decision for him but he trusted you to do what was right for him and it sounds like you kept your promise to him. Hugs to you. We'll look forward to seeing more about the new little critter!

  9. #8
    House Broken
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    Apr 2015
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    Northeast
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    Thanks Smartrock. I had this friend whom tortured her dog for the last 2 years of his life because she couldn’t let go. The dog had no quality of life whatsoever And I always promised him I’d never do that to him, and I kept that promise.

    I worked for many years as a horse trainer and Unfortunately, I’ve had a lot of euthanasia experience with horses and I think it really prepared me for this. In the sense that I was able to remove myself from the situation completely and think of only him. But, it hurts like nothing else. I keep reminding myself how lucky I was to have had him (I must’ve done something good in a past life) and that he really had a great 10 years. He went to work with me on the horse farm every day. He rolled in the grass, guarded the chickens, and greeted all the girls as they arrived for their lessons. He had fans everywhere he went. When we weren’t at the farm we were at the beach, he did have a great life.

    The little yellow blob is a good boy, he’s very very different from Tide, which I think is going to be a good thing.

  10. #9
    Senior Dog SamsonsMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    NE Ohio
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    So sorry for your loss.

  11. #10
    Senior Dog Snowshoe's Avatar
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    May 2014
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
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    I 'm sorry. It's a hard time, we know our hearts will break when we first meet them.. WE think they will break our hearts. We don't know we will break our own hearts ourselves, to save them pain. I'm sorry.
    Hidden Content

    Castilleja's Dubhgall Oban, the Black Stranger of The Little Bay
    Oct. 15, 2007 - June 13, 2021
    Oxtongue Rapids Park. Oct. 2019 Hidden Content

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Snowshoe For This Useful Post:

    Mollysmomma (09-04-2018), SunDance (05-28-2018)

 



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