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    Thread: For Bess

    1. #1
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      Bess's Avatar
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      For Bess

      Hi,
      I'm new to the forum and wanted to start with a post in memory of my sweet little Bess (aka Bessie). Sadly we had to make that god awful decision just before Christmas. I'm still raw from the pain, so perhaps this will help if i write it down. I apologise in advance if this gets a little long.

      I moved to America in July of 2014. I'm from the UK, although i moved to Vienna, Austria when i was 17, so spent the past 20 years there. I got Bess 14 years ago there. She was 8 weeks old. We were together every single day, bar a few short trips abroad. She was my partner, my everything, the one and only that i trusted without any hesitation. We went through the good and the bad, and never did she leave my side. When we moved here, my priority was that she and my Zoe (a poodle) would be happy here, they came first, always have, always will. They were more than happy here. The trip over wasnt too great, but i knew that in the end their lives would be so much better. I still talk about Bess in the present, it helps me, as i know she is here somewhere. She loves the water, typical lab! So florida was obviously going to be great for her...the climate as well. They both settled in within days....Bess was in heaven here.

      Before i left though, my vet found a lump in her jaw, and told us we needed to have it removed asap. My now husband and I went to a specialist here in Florida. The lump was cancerous. Bess had never been ill; always a healthy dog. I prefer the more natural, holistic side to things, and so thats how she was always treated for minor things. I did the same with the cancer. Neither of us wanted her to have 90% of her jaw removed, nor to go through chemo. We wanted her to enjoy the time here. It was a lousy 3 months though. She was never "sick" as such. Nothing changed with Bess. She swam every day, ate like a typical lab, and had more energy than ever....but then one day she had a seizure. She came out within seconds and pranced around like nothing had happened. We took her to the vet and everything was ok. But then about 8 weeks later she had another. She never really came out of this one.

      I swore i would never make that decision for her, i knew that i could never do that. But as we all know, those that have had to, something clicks in and you know that you have to do what is right for them, not us. My husband said he would take that burden from me, and i thought initially i would let him, but no, she was my child, and i couldnt let someone else do that. Fortunately we could have our vet come to our home. She is an amazing person and spent time with me (I wanted to be alone with Bess and Zoe for this) explaining what would happen. The images of the injection haunt me to this day. I feel that i let Bess down, and didnt do enough. Then there are times where i feel that maybe if i had waited one more day, she would have pulled through. Logically i know she wouldnt have, but logic is not on my side right now.

      I miss her so much. I came here with her and Zoe; we're a team. As much as i love my husband, I still feel lost without Bess...this was our next road trip, we were meant to do it together...and now all that is gone. I wanted her to swim in the pool for much longer, to enjoy all this new life for so much longer, and that didnt happen. I'm still getting used to being in a new country, and she always made me feel ok when i felt a bit lost, and now thats gone. My husband has been a rock. Sadly he's lost a few dogs over the years, but this was my first time. He misses her too, but never has time to grieve really because he's too concerned about me. He has his moments, and i try to console him, but i find it hard.

      We have four dogs and 2 cats...i still include Bess in the four dogs; i try to console myself thinking she is on a journey and I'll catch up with her at the Rainbow Bridge some day. Its been tough on them too. Zoe (Bess's sister) isnt the same anymore, and i try to console her but I'm not really doing well, so my husband has taken over with that. They developed a special bond from day one. I feel guilt everywhere because I'm not giving all of them what they deserve.

      One day i felt this strange but good feeling. I swore i would never have another lab again. But then Tilly appeared through some strange way....i like to think, and do believe it was Bess telling me to share the love i have with all the others and another little one. I felt guilty and felt like i had to constantly tell people that she was not a replacement, she is Tilly. I gave up on that because if people dont understand then so be it. Tilly is her own person; and she has been the what i call, magic, to keep me going. Our other dogs kept me going too, but i needed to nurture a little one, and have a new beginning, and give a new beginning to her.

      She's just adorable and i love her as much as i do all of our other pets. She's a challenge, but thats what i needed, and she keeps me on my toes, keeps me sane. There is no comparison with her and Bess, but i will say that they do have a few things in common...and that is a nice thing.

      Anyway, I'm sorry for the rambling, and i hope to be of some use here and also get some new tips and tricks, its been a while since i had a puppy! Tilly is doing really well though. She's only 9 weeks old and is already starting to get the jist of things. She's so fragile and small....i honestly dont remember that with Bess, although she will have been just as small, as Bess wasnt a large lab, very petite.

      Hugs to all that have lost their fur babies.
      Here is a photo, my favourite, of my Bessie
      -p5080189-jpg

    2. The Following User Says Thank You to Bess For This Useful Post:

      Tori (02-18-2015)

    3. #2
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      doubledip1's Avatar
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      Run free, Bess! So sorry for your loss.

      Welcome! Looking forward to pictures of Tilly.
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    4. The Following User Says Thank You to doubledip1 For This Useful Post:

      Bess (01-10-2015)

    5. #3
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      A lovely photo of Bess. Many people on here have said they'd rather let their best friend go one day too soon than one day too late. We often hope for some miracle, but it sounds like you did the best for Bess and gave her freedom from suffering. It takes a lot of courage to do that. I'm sorry for the circumstances that introduce her to us but we look forward to learning more about her and you and Tilly!
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    6. The Following User Says Thank You to smartrock For This Useful Post:

      Bess (01-10-2015)

    7. #4
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      POPTOP's Avatar
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      So very sorry for you loss. I home seniors and the time comes way too soon. As we say here, cancer sucks. So many of us know the depth of your grief. She's so beautiful and has left you so many good memories. She will meet many new fur friends at the Rainbow Bridge and when the time comes, she will be waiting there for you. She is free of sickness and pain, running and swimming.

      Keeping a normal schedule for Zoe will help a lot. Dogs grieve too and she needs time to adjust.

      Am looking forward to seeing pictures of Tilly. Of course, she does not take the place the Bess. Tilly is herself, special, and that's the way it should be.

      Rest In Peace Bess

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      Bess (01-11-2015)

    9. #5
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      Doreen Davis's Avatar
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      Welcome, we lost all 3 of ours at 13, 14 and almost 15 this past year and we too have started over with the 'new kids'. Here's to Bessie and a life well lived with you, and to Tilly, your 'new kid'.

    10. The Following User Says Thank You to Doreen Davis For This Useful Post:

      Bess (01-11-2015)

    11. #6
      Real Retriever
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      Welcome from 'big' Tilly (from the song Waltzing Matilda)!

      I have yet to cross that road of losing a beloved pet as an adult and so cannot fathom the grief that you are feeling at the moment re Bessie. I really feel for you.

      It sounds as if 'little' Tilly has come to you for a reason and I hope she will bring you as much joy, happiness and love as my Tilly does for me.

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      Bess (01-11-2015)

    13. #7
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      Halcyon's Avatar
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      I'm so sorry for your loss. RIP Bess. Run free at the Bridge!
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      Bess (01-11-2015)

    15. #8
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      Berna's Avatar
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      I am really sorry for your loss. It was quite a journey, and I am sure Bess had a wonderful life.

      Run free sweet girl.

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      Bess (01-11-2015)

    17. #9
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      SunDance's Avatar
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      I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like Bessie had the best possible life and knew that you'd always be there for her and keep her from unnecessary pain and fear. And you did.

      It always hurts to have to make that decision even when it's the obvious best one. Be gentle with yourself while you grieve. I personally think it's good to have another someone around who is totally dependent on you while you grieve. Tilly will be good for you and, I'm sure, would be what Bessie would want for you.

      Bessie was a beautiful girl and your story is a wonderful memorial...thank you for sharing with us.

      Welcome to the board to you and your family...I'm another one looking forward to pics of Tilly as she grows. Best thoughts to you.
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    18. The Following User Says Thank You to SunDance For This Useful Post:

      Bess (01-11-2015)

    19. #10
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      MikeLynn's Avatar
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      We're so sorry for your loss of your beautiful girl. I guess I sort of know how you feel. When Lynn passed last summer, she sent me Mel, who's basically the reason why I found this forum because after fourteen years of a wonderful relationship I'd forgotten almost everything about lab puppyhood and needed some information and advice. Also helped that I found people here who could understand my grief and were willing to listen. M&M
      Run free, sweet Bessie!
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    20. The Following User Says Thank You to MikeLynn For This Useful Post:

      Bess (01-11-2015)

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