Separation Anxiety?? Help!?

[Aries]

I have a 8 month old lab that I adopted and he's been a handful since the first day that I got him. My husband and I share some of the responsibilities of taking care of him but I am actually the MAIN one who is training him, setting his schedules, etc so Aries is really my dog (my shadow). To make a long story short......I went away this weekend and told my husband to make sure Aries sticks to his schedule or else he may have a mess on his hands. So I get a call, Saturday night with him screaming that Aries did a #1 and #2 in his crate while he ran out to the store. I asked if he let him out before he left (like I would do) and he said, 'Yes' and that he did a #1 and he was only gone for like an hour. Needless to say, my hubby was not happy and he put in the garage for the rest of the night.

So my question is do you think he acted out towards my husband because he finally realized that I was gone since he's use to be doing EVERYTHING?? If so, how do I break him of that because I can't take him everywhere with me?

[Secret]

Originally Posted by Aries

I have a 8 month old lab that I adopted and he's been a handful since the first day that I got him. My husband and I share some of the responsibilities of taking care of him but I am actually the MAIN one who is training him, setting his schedules, etc so Aries is really my dog (my shadow). To make a long story short......I went away this weekend and told my husband to make sure Aries sticks to his schedule or else he may have a mess on his hands. So I get a call, Saturday night with him screaming that Aries did a #1 and #2 in his crate while he ran out to the store. I asked if he let him out before he left (like I would do) and he said, 'Yes' and that he did a #1 and he was only gone for like an hour. Needless to say, my hubby was not happy and he put in the garage for the rest of the night.

So my question is do you think he acted out towards my husband because he finally realized that I was gone since he's use to be doing EVERYTHING?? If so, how do I break him of that because I can't take him everywhere with me?

He may have just been stressed because you're gone. I doubt he did it out of spite. Does your husband walk your dog regularly?

My previous rescue had separation anxiety. She "attached" to me from the very first day we had her (I left briefly to run an errand and she panicked and became my shadow once I returned). She would follow me around the house, had to always be at my heels. Wouldn't eat unless I was with her, tried to follow me into the bathroom, shower, etc.

I work from home almost full-time, but our solution was to increase the things that my husband did for her, so that she'd look to both of us for stability. He'd walk her and feed her in the morning, I'd still take the evening walk and feeding. We worked together on training her, so she'd answer to both of our commands. I'd also do my best to make her spend time away from me in the house, starting slowly and increasing the time slowly, and eventually she was OK. She still shadowed me, but it didn't stress her out to the point she'd whine and bark if I was in another room and she wasn't (due to a baby gate).

In your situation I'd work on getting your husband more involved. Good luck!

[Shotzi21]

I am no help with any ideas because mine has it too, but I really wish I knew what causes it.

[Tannertz]

not sure if it would help or not but we have an adopted lab as well....a month and a half ago or so..and she did the same anxiety thing. I once left for a couple hours and thought her crate door was shut properly which is wasn't...and when I came home the living room was destroyed and she pooped and peed EVERY where throughout the house. I didn't even know a dog could go that much in a small period of time. Anyhow...we started doing some crate training with her...even though she 1 1/2 she had no training skills...and even when we were home we would alternate having her in and out of the crate. When she came out we went outside immediately and if she did her thing then she would be allowed to come and socialize with us for a while and then go back in her crate. For us it helped her to be more calm in the crate whether we were there or not. We also would turn on the radio as a keaving signal for her and leave and go outside for short periods of time and listen, because she is a scratch my way out of the crate if I can and howl kind of dog. If she was quite we would come back in and give lots of praise and a treat. If she acted up we waited it out then came in when she was done but didn't make any sort of fuss and contact with her. She will still sometimes whine and scratch at her crate when we leave, but no accidents and no more howling!

[kojakusa]

I second the advice to get hubby more involved. It sounds like he is not 100% behind having the dog? If he is ambivalent about the dog, the dog may be picking that up, which will increase/create anxiety. His calling you 'screaming' and putting the dog in the garage for having an 'accident' will definitely not help.

They will have accidents for various reasons (health, anxiety, being left too long between breaks, etc.), it comes with the territory, and it is not merely pointless, but counterproductive to punish the dog or get angry. I don't mean to be overly critical of hubby; I say these things because I had to learn them myself - I got frustrated and angry many times before I learned what patience really is and I will be ever grateful to my dog for teaching it to me.

[Aries]

It's just so odd to me. I can be out all Saturday afternoon running errands and my hubby takes care of Aries with no problems. I actually left Friday night and it wasn't until Saturday night that he had his accident. It's true that I was the one that rushed into getting a dog right after our Shih Tzu passed and my hubby wasn't for it but with my constant nagging he gave in. He definitely DOES NOT have the patience like I do so at this point I think he just tolerates him until he gets out of puppy stage. I'm stressing now because I have to be gome for 5 days after Thanksgiving for my job and I soooooo want Aries to be a good dog for him that I know he can be.

[stargazing1113]

Originally Posted by Aries

It's just so odd to me. I can be out all Saturday afternoon running errands and my hubby takes care of Aries with no problems. I actually left Friday night and it wasn't until Saturday night that he had his accident. It's true that I was the one that rushed into getting a dog right after our Shih Tzu passed and my hubby wasn't for it but with my constant nagging he gave in. He definitely DOES NOT have the patience like I do so at this point I think he just tolerates him until he gets out of puppy stage. I'm stressing now because I have to be gome for 5 days after Thanksgiving for my job and I soooooo want Aries to be a good dog for him that I know he can be.

I don't know your husband or you, so please don't be offended with my opinion. It just sounds like your husband was not ready for another dog, let alone a young lab.

If at all possible it maybe best to board your dog while you are gone. Maybe not the full 5 days but a few of those days. I am guessing your dog is picking up on your husband feelings toward him. As you said he just tolerates him. You gone is enough stress for your pup without the added stress of your husband's only tolerating.

[kojakusa]

I second the suggestion of boarding the dog while you are away next. This will still be stressful for the dog, but he will at least be in an environment where the caregivers aren't going to get upset with him if he has an accident, so his stress will not be compounded. This will have the added (maybe primary) benefit of giving hubby a break from the dog - who knows, he might even miss the furball

[Casey*Owns*Me]

I think I had more trouble training boyfriend than I did puppy. Boyfriend was the one all for having another dog after we had to put our little guy down. I did NOT want another dog.

Then I saw Casey, was holding him the first time he opened his eyes, and it was instant love .

When we first got him home, at 7 weeks, I obviously did far more with him because I'm home all day. Casey would come to me for everything. And of course, he was the typical chewing, biting, rotten lab puppy. We actually went through a stage where BF just didn't like Casey at all, which broke my heart. And of course, it was easier for BF to let Casey come to me for everything.

After about 6 weeks of this, I started sneaking...going to the bathroom way more often than I needed to, taking 2 hour long baths, putting laundry away and then hiding in the bedroom pretending I was still putting laundry away etc...anything to put Casey and boyfriend together without being too obvious about it .

Now Casey is 7 months old, and he is just as comfortable with boyfriend as he is with me. And they really love each other! Just in the past couple of weeks, Casey has started going upstairs to bed when boyfriend goes up and I don't, which was unheard of before.

I knew if I tried to force the relationship, it wouldn't work on either side, so yes, I resorted to out-and-out trickery, and I'm glad I did .

Good luck!

[Aries]

Originally Posted by Casey*Owns*Me

I think I had more trouble training boyfriend than I did puppy. Boyfriend was the one all for having another dog after we had to put our little guy down. I did NOT want another dog.

Then I saw Casey, was holding him the first time he opened his eyes, and it was instant love .

When we first got him home, at 7 weeks, I obviously did far more with him because I'm home all day. Casey would come to me for everything. And of course, he was the typical chewing, biting, rotten lab puppy. We actually went through a stage where BF just didn't like Casey at all, which broke my heart. And of course, it was easier for BF to let Casey come to me for everything.

After about 6 weeks of this, I started sneaking...going to the bathroom way more often than I needed to, taking 2 hour long baths, putting laundry away and then hiding in the bedroom pretending I was still putting laundry away etc...anything to put Casey and boyfriend together without being too obvious about it .

Now Casey is 7 months old, and he is just as comfortable with boyfriend as he is with me. And they really love each other! Just in the past couple of weeks, Casey has started going upstairs to bed when boyfriend goes up and I don't, which was unheard of before.

I knew if I tried to force the relationship, it wouldn't work on either side, so yes, I resorted to out-and-out trickery, and I'm glad I did .

Good luck!

How sneaky of you but I LOVE IT!!! I think I'm going to have to try that as well and wish for the best.