Take a deep breath. Calm down.
You have not failed this dog.
As Berna stated above, Barley is a "teenager" and by the sounds of it, high energy. As you've probably gathered from the board, the adolescence stage is tough. They realise that there is a world outside of you and learn that they don't always have to listen to you. They test their boundaries and push their limits. Give them an inch and they'll take a mile. At that age, Bobby blew off recalls and had selective hearing. He conveniently forgot how to walk on a loose leash. He pulled and yanked me everywhere and when I tried to turn around, he would lie down and refuse to move! His "leave it" became "get it as fast as possible" and his "drop" became "chew faster and swallow." His energy levels skyrocketed. He was distracted by everything. He started counter-surfing. Welcome back, humping, jumping and biting. He was renamed "Sir Butthead of Bumville" and his theme song was Troublemaker by Olly Murs, particularly the chorus:
Trouble troublemaker, yeah
That's your middle name, oh oh oh...
I know you're no good but you're stuck in my brain
And I wanna know...
Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad, oh oh oh?
My mind keeps saying,
"Run as fast as you can."
I say, "I'm done," but then you pull me back, oh oh oh...
I swear you're giving me a heart attack
Troublemaker!
You're in a tough situation. Sit down after you've cooled down and think it through carefully. This is something only you can decide on. Are you willing to dedicate hours upon hours of your time on training, exercising and managing both Moby and Barley whilst undergoing a divorce, custody battle, working and other commitments? Will you sink or will you swim?
My first suggestion would be to increase his exercise. Build him a flirt pole and tire him out. Fetch, nosework and swimming are all great ways to release his energy. Can you organise playdates with other similar sized, similar energy-level dogs? What is your exercise schedule with him like?
After you've got exercise sorted, it's time to work on training. I went back to basics with NILIF. I then worked on focus training in different locations (backyard, inside the house, in front of the house, etc) and with different distractions. I had problems with loose leash walking too. Prongs aren't an option for us (banned here). We didn't use harnesses (body or head). We used a basic flat buckle collar and a standard leash. We spent days just walking up and down the street in front of our house! You get to know your neighbours well!
However, what worked for me mostly was deciding what my expectations were for loose leash walking before our training session. In our case, Bobby was allowed to walk in front of, by my side or behind as long as he wasn't pulling or dragging. He was allowed to sniff as long as he wasn't yanking me and we moved on when I said, "Enough." If there was tension on the leash and he was pulling, I would refuse to let him go where he wanted to by turning around. It was hard at first because Bobby would adamantly sit down or lie down, forcing us to drag him. I was confident that this technique was not going to work. With enough repetition, refusing to give in and an upbeat, "C'mon, let's go," he complied and I would let him investigate as long as he behaved.
I am not joking when I say that Bobby was a nutcase. He was interested in everything! Cars, trees, grass, leaves, fences, dirt, rocks, letterboxes, rubbish bins, etc. He could have pulled my arm out of my socket. He lunged. He yanked. It was like Marley and Me. I was so frustrated and annoyed that he wouldn't behave. Treats didn't work for us as they weren't as interesting. I was at a loss until I changed my mindset and adapted his training. I split the criteria into finer and finer expectations. I harnessed his craziness and used his distraction as his reward. "You want to sniff and mark that tree? OK, walk loosely for ten steps. Good boy! Go sniff!"
Keep your sessions short! Figure out how long you are willing to deal with his obnoxious pulling and decide on a time limit below it. That way, you can set both of you up for success and there is a greater chance that the session will end on a good note. I kept my sessions short but frequent, starting with ten minutes and building into long walks (around 40-50 minutes). Admittedly, my method took a long time. A prong or similar device used appropriately would probably get it done faster. It just depends on what you are comfortable with and what is available for you. If you don't want to battle him with the Gentle Leader, try something else.
In regards to him eliminating indoors, this is probably excitement peeing. He's just so happy. It's a new environment, new people, new playmates. Instead of rushing him to the backyard, I would have taken him for a short walk up and down the street before entering. This gives him a chance to empty his bladder. If you're afraid of him running off whilst you clean the yard, put him on a long leash. That way, if he ignores recall, you can reel him in and rest assured that he is not completely free.
When you feel frustrated, take a break and put him in his crate (if you use one) or in a safe, secure place where he can't get up to no good. Prepare a few frozen Kongs and give one to him. A large marrow bone is good too. I like to give him ones big enough to last around an hour. That way, I can get chores and homework done and relax a bit. Make him work for his meals. Put his kibble in a Wobbler, a Tug-a-Jug, Kong Genius or a similar food dispenser. This adds to his mental stimulation.
Adolescence is hard. Bobby is now 17 months and he is so much better! He walks relatively nicely on a loose leash, he listens and obeys most of the time (all bets are off at the vet's) and can settle down in the house. He willingly takes naps and doesn't need as much exercise as he did then. I remember Sue said sometime somewhere on the board along the lines of, "The dogs with the most mischief in their eyes become the best dogs." When times are tough, I remember Barry's quote: "Raising a Lab is a journey, not a destination." It's tough, hard and frustrating now but adapt your training, change your mindset and enjoy these moments with Barley. The pride and joy you feel when you see and experience his growth will be amazing, breathtaking and incredible!
Most Labs are horrible puppies who with love, time and patience, grow into amazing dogs! Just remember, you reap what you sow; the more effort you put in, the more you will be rewarded. When you see an off-leash dog return with a simple command or a dog that walks perfectly on a loose leash beside an owner in thongs/flip-flops, just remember that hours and hours and hours of training, effort and dedication have gone into training this behaviour.
I hope you stick it out and choose to swim. We'll be here for you if you need us. Good luck!