Horrible geek jokes.

[janedoe]

My husband is going to two conferences in the next three weeks and is giving four talks total. Basically, what this means is that he has come across a slew of horrible geek jokes. Frankly, I have never heard so many get togethers of physicists, chemists, engineers and statisticians in my life. Here are the three best bad ones.

Three statisticians go hunting. They see a deer. The one with a bow points his finger and says, "I need to aim in this area" and raises the bow. The second one waits until the bow gets to the general area and says, "Fire now!" The first one fires and the arrow falls ten feet short of the deer and the third one calls out, "We got it!"

I know. I know. Here's another one.

A physicist, statistician and engineer walk into a bar. They see a beautiful woman. The physicist says, "According to Zeno's Paradox, I will never get to this woman. I will cross half the distance then half again and on and on and never get there." The statistician says, "Statistically speaking, I do not have the time to meet this woman given the number of available opportunities in the bar." The engineer says, "Practically speaking, there's no point in any of us trying."

And the last.

A physicist, chemist and statistician walk into a room. A wastebasket is on fire. The physicist says, "If we lower the temperature of the fuel, we can put the fire out." The chemist says, "If we deprive the fire of oxygen, it will go out." The statistician meanwhile is running around the room setting everything else on fire. "What are you doing?" they ask. The statistician responds, "Getting a better sample!"

[Jeff]

Groan. Woody needs to put back in all the smilies. Head Bang smiley is appropriate here.

[MikeLynn]

Miss the smilies too!!!

[Polly Pipkin]

Oh wow!

[POPTOP]

Groan is right.

[emma_Dad]

Is bad that I found these really funny? Note I studied Applied math with a concentration in PDE and stats.....

[janedoe]

Is bad that I found these really funny? Note I studied Applied math with a concentration in PDE and stats.....

Well, not bad per se . . . I'm pretty fond of the deer joke myself.

[MyLittleStinker]

Hahaha?

I didn't get get them...argh.

[janedoe]

Hahaha?

I didn't get get them...argh.

This goes a long way toward explaining the deer joke.

The Range (Statistics)

[kimbersmom]

I love geek jokes!

Statistics play an important role in genetics. For instance, statistics prove that number of offspring is an inherited trait. If your parent didn't have any kids, odds are you won't either.

And my favorite psychology joke:

How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the ladder, and one to hold the penis.
LADDER.
I MEANT TO SAY LADDER.