Not Listening

[beth101509]

Oliver has started this new(ish) thing where he does not listen to my husband.

At bedtime, my husband will take the dog out so he can smoke before bed. Well, my husband will say, "come on, Oliver, let's go outside and go potty" and then open the door and step out of it. Oliver (if I am still in the living room putting stuff away) will look at me like "can I go?". I will have to say, "Oliver go outside and go potty" and then he will go. I will hear Jeremy tell Oliver to "come" a few times before they actually make it into the house. Yesterday morning, I heard Oliver whining and even give a bark (which is a big no-no) and my husband keep saying "no....off....Oliver down....no..." and on it went. I went out to the living room and Oliver comes barreling over like a bull in a china shop and I put my hand out and say, "NO! Relax right now!" and he immediately calmed down.

This morning Jeremy was standing behind the couch and Oliver jumps up on the couch and tries climbing with a toy in his mouth on the back of the couch. Jeremy told him twice to get down and Oliver didn't budge. I tapped Oliver on the back and said, "get down now!" he automatically got down. I finally told my husband, "you need to say it like you mean it because he does not listen to you whatsoever".

My husband is 6' tall, I am only 5' tall....shouldn't he be more intimidating than me? It just gets frustrating because I feel like I can't leave them alone together because then Oliver can do whatever he wants. Drives me crazy. Is this just because he is a puppy and he will grow out of this or not?

[Tanya]

Chances are your husband has not been practicing and has not been consistant with his commands. So Oliver knows he can test him. Hubby needs to be consistant and train with Oliver and ensure when he gives a command Oliver can follow thru.

no oliver will not "grow out of this". it's a training issue. (not yours, your husbands!) Clearly if Oliver listends when you give a command he can learn. Your husbadn just needs to step up.

[sheltieluver]

I agree with Tanya. My dogs do the same thing. I've done 100 percent of their training. My husband is more of the give affection first so my dogs listen mostly to me. I was furious when I was wondering why Gauge would jump on me , he was never allowed to jump then all of a sudden when I would ask him to sit he would then jump up. My husband taught him high10 to which he taught him to jump up and hit his hands with his paws. Grrrr. He needs to train with him more or oliver will know he didn't have to listen.

[Snowshoe]

Same thing here. Husbands are much, much harder to train than dogs. Mine uses different words all the time, reinforces bad behaviour, like say, he hugs the dog after he jumps, let's him get away with pulling. When Oban is walked by the OH it must look like he never went to any training classes at all.

I do wonder if Oliver doesn't like to walk through the smoke?

[POPTOP]

Same here! DH lets Archie get away with so much. Mardi also pushes the edge with DH, barking for treats, etc. As long as they keep it within boundaries, and the furkids know when I give a command it is obeyed, it's working.

[Woodrow_Woodchuck]

I have never experienced this first hand as I am single. I have seen it a lot in other folks with puppies/dogs. As Tanya pointed out, YOU are seen as the boss, to be obeyed no questioned asked. Your partner on the other hand... ahh... more of a fun guy. With you, rules are rules. With him.. rules are kind of rules.

You need to get him on the program. That.. or just accept that you are raising two puppies! Separately they are both great, together... they are going to make their own fun until the meanie comes around!

[Sue]

Height has nothing to do with it. It wouldn't matter if your husband is 7 feet tall, and you only 4 ft. It's consistency that they'll respond to, along with tome of voice and body language.

Snowshoe's OH is similar to mine. No reinforcement, he allows Abby to come barreling into the house when she is supposed to wait at the door for invisible collar removal (she does for me). If she doesn't move when he wants to get past, he will stand there waiting, not saying anything (other than a pained look because she's not realizing he wants past). Calling her, his tone of voice is different. He doesn't know how to tell her no.

I would venture to say your husband is the same way. And you can either train him, or deal with it like I do, which is to realize both of us have different ways of behavior, and it's impossible to change him, no matter how much I try to tell him. He just gets bent out of shape when I do. Sigh.

[sarah]

I thought it was only me! I CANNOT get my bf to get on board with training and obedience. It makes me so mad sometimes. I work for so long to get Sam to learn his manners and then it seems like it only takes one day for the bf to undo everything I taught him. We work separate shifts too so I don't realize what he lets the dog get away with until it's already been going on for too long.

And to add insult to injury, Sam likes him more than me because he's the fun one who lets him get away with whatever he wants I just wanna smack him on the nose with a newspaper sometimes (my bf, not Sam).

[sarah]

You need to get him on the program. That.. or just accept that you are raising two puppies! Separately they are both great, together... they are going to make their own fun until the meanie comes around!

LOL that sums up our house perfectly! I'm so totally the meanie!

[Labradorks]

Been there, done that! It's not you, it's not the dog, it's the husband. Seems there is almost always one half of a couple that is inconsistent with the dog. I have found that all of the partners I have had (male) can't be bothered to work with the dog or deal with unwanted behavior until the dog is doing something really bad that can't be ignored. Super annoying!

In nearly every pet dog class I have taken, there is a couple fighting over how the other half of the couple is working with the dog. It's usually nagging by one of them, but one of the last classes I took was really awkward because of the arguing between one couple in the class. It was so bad the instructor had to talk to them about it.

I am single now, but I so have friends and family who let the dogs act up when they are around. I've gotten to the point where as long as they don't act that way with me or with other people who don't want it, I let it go. It took me a long time to get there, but it seems to be the best solution for me at this point. I know it's not that cut and dry with a puppy though...so...good luck!