Need advice on behavior

[Bridget]

This is a long story, but please bear with me, especially folks who have experience in dog/lab behavior. My husband and I got Corina as a puppy almost eight years ago. We already had a three year old chocolate lab (his) and my five year old German shepherd, Heidi, who was the light of my life. Heidi hated Corina on sight and bullied her. Corina learned to practice all sorts of avoidance and submissive behaviors when Heidi was around, but also became almost a perfect dog. She is one of those dogs that you can take anywhere and always depend on her to make you proud. I think I paid too much attention to the pack/alpha theory that was so popular at that time (pet the alpha dog (Heidi) first, etc.) So life went on, Cori became better and better, Heidi older and older. In January, I lost Heidi. The only silver lining was that I looked forward to getting the chance to really bond with Cori...except she won't. This is the only dog I have ever had who wasn't happy to see me when I come in after being gone. Our other two (we adopted a little terrier) meet me at the door and I have to go look for Cori. She is visibly uncomfortable in my presence. She looks away when I pet and talk to her. She always wants to go with me places, but I've begun to wonder if it's more that she just wants to go somewhere than that she wants to be with me.

So, is there anything I can do? Any suggestion on what might help? I really want Cori to be my dog and have the bond with her that I had with Heidi. But maybe I should just leave it, as she is a great dog and not unhappy. I just want her to be my best friend and I want to be hers. But maybe she has been the "middle child" for too long and it is too late?

[smartrock]

Have you taken any classes with her, obedience classes or anything that had you working just with her on a more intensive or one-to-one basis? That's the main thing that comes to mind as a way to start building a relationship that may not be there. Even if you've taken classes before and she already knows all the appropriate commands, taking her someplace that only you and she go to and then spending time practicing whatever you're supposed to practice might spark a flame. If there are classes like rally or something a bit up from basic obedience, that might be fun.

Our older dog, who was an "only child" for several years, doesn't always get up to greet us at the door, me usually, my husband, rarely. He also is excited to go out if he thinks we're going someplace, especially if he's seen suitcases being loaded into the car. He just has never been a cuddly, best friend kind of a boy, always a bit aloof. Maybe that's just Corina's natural personality and she'll never really fill the same role that Heidi did. It may not have been as apparent as long as Heidi was there to play the light of your life role. I'd try classes or taking her for walks or hikes or adventures that only the 2 of you go on, without the other 2 dogs present.

[Bridget]

Corina and I have been all the way through Advanced Obedience. I did think of re-taking classes just for the bond, and wondered if anyone else would think that was a good idea. The rally might be good, as we haven't done that before. Thanks! Maybe this might at least partly be Corina, rather than entirely Heidi's influence.

[Labradorks]

A type of really positive, low stress training class would be great and Rally might be just the thing!

[kimbersmom]

Yes, I was also going to suggest a fun class together. Kimber and I started agility together when she was 4 and it took our relationship to a whole new level.

[POPTOP]

Do agree with training classes. You both will gain a closer connection.

[Bridget]

I think classes it is then. I have been thinking of getting into obedience trials with her. But I don't know if it is possible because we actually do not have papers on Cori. Does anyone know? She has had enough training that with a brush-up class or two, I think we could be successful. I'm sure many of you do this, so any information would be helpful. Maybe having something to train for together would be good.

[Annette47]

I think classes it is then. I have been thinking of getting into obedience trials with her. But I don't know if it is possible because we actually do not have papers on Cori. Does anyone know? She has had enough training that with a brush-up class or two, I think we could be successful. I'm sure many of you do this, so any information would be helpful. Maybe having something to train for together would be good.

Check the AKC website for how to do this (it has changed over the years) but if she looks like a purebred Lab, you can get a P.A.L. number on her (used to be called an ILP) that would allow you to compete in obedience events. The other option (and again, I don’t know exactly how to do it but the website should show it) is to register her as an All-American. Once she has a registration number, she can compete in any events open to “all-american”s. If possible, I’d recommend the PAL though as it would open up more options in terms of trials, etc.

[ChoppersDad]

I always seem to take the bond with my pup to a higher level every time I take him camping. Sometimes, I just take him by myself and spend the weekend out in the wilderness alone with him. We always come back home with a tighter bond by spending time together without other distractions around. Maybe you should give camping, beach or some other special place that is fun for the dog a try? Corina will appreciate you for it.

[Snowshoe]

Apart from the lack of eye contact your description fits my Jet pretty well. Jet, the dog who practically asked me for permission to breath, would try to do anything I asked, even anticipate what I might ask. But Jet was touch sensitive and did not like to be petted. There are some research articles that suggest this might be due to to early pre-pubertal spaying; who knows. Jet also did not come to the door when we arrived home. I took this as a sign of her ultimate faith in me, that I would come home and thus she was not the least bit stressed at my absence.

Jet did have remarkable eye contact, even at a young age, naturally. But you can teach eye contact with focus and attention games.

You say you have done "advanced" obedience classes but I am not sure what that means. Training facilities that are not training for competition seem to have their own terminology which might not mean the same thing at all in another facility. In our competitive geared classes we were training in the class we hoped to compete in, so novice, open and utility.


If you can't compete in AKC check out UKC. United Kennel Club: Obedience Program