Please don't be so hard on yourself! I really think Barley is in that dreadful "teenage" phase and they can really be butt heads during this tine. It does sound like he could use some more off-leash free play time to get rid of some of his energy. Do you have an area to do this in? Some play dates may also help and the weekly doggy day care is great. I definitely do not think you need to worry about dominating him, that is just nonsense. Continue working on the loose leash walking, it often just takes time and lots of patience. How much time are you spending on mentally working him? Hide and seek, puzzle toys, etc? Working a dog mentally helps tire them as much as physical exercise. I know sometimes "puppyhood" of a Lab can seem to last forever but eventually they do slow down. Hang in there, you really have a lot on your plate and once things get settled for you I really think you will find it much easier to manage your sweet boy.