What is going on here? Family issue.

[janedoe]

My sister brought her daughter out to see colleges. She said that the colleges were in the Boston area. They weren't even in the state. But they were flying into Boston because they were nonstop tickets.

She came by the house for the first time since we've been here. It was 17 miles out of her way given that they flew into Boston and were on the turnpike on the way to see these colleges. My sister made a big deal about driving that extra 17 miles each way even though the route to the college they were going to see was about three and a half hours from the airport.

My niece chose that college and will be attending this fall. My sister wants to meet me two hours from my home every time she comes to visit (not the college town - presumably the city she plans to stay in). She calls this the "halfway" point even though she's passing a point 17 miles from my house.

I don't understand this. When she was a single mother, we would fly out to her house to help her paint or move or whatever needed to be done to help her out. She has never responded in kind. When she married her second husband who she was concerned would be abusive, she went off into her own world and there was little communication for ten years, including communication with her children. As I result, I don't even know her kids. Now her kids are leaving the nest and she wants me to chase her around again. I told her that I would be happy to meet her at a restaurant 17 miles from our house that she would be passing by on her way to her daughter's college. She did not respond.

Is it just me or am I too old for this?

[sparky]

Sounds like you have always gone the extra mile to support you sister. Sounds like she still expects you to support and be there for her. If you always do what you've done, you'll always get what you've always got.
If you can, have a conversation with her and explain your feelings.
I wish you good luck with this.

[Maxx&Emma]

It is definitely not you. As for being "too old for this", I find the older I get the less patience I have for nonsense. I think your offer to meet at a restaurant is very fair. If that isn't good enough for her I wonder if anything really will be.

[bett]

every family has their stuff.
probably not you, she just expects you to do what you always have. cater.

i wouldn't sweat it.see her whenever and wherever you can. if you feel like it.

of course i have one sister, and we don't speak. she never came to my parents funerals, hadn't seen my mother for 21 yrs but had a fit when i brought that up.
"it's not 21 yrs!!!"

"really, how long is it?"


"18"

ok, then, if that makes you feel better.

and oh yeah, my parents completely cut her out of their will , which i didnt know until my dad died.

they knew.

[POPTOP]

Sounds like she is depending on what you have done in the past. I think meeting her at the restaurant is a fair meeting place. If she does not think so, it's her loss.

[Snowshoe]

LOL, is it possible your sister is as challenged geographically, spatially, time, distance, travel as mine is? My Sis and I need to meet to sign some papers dealing with our Mum's estate. She thought we could meet somewhere so neither of us would have to drive all the way to the other's house. We could have lunch there. She suggested a town that is farther away for me, a bit closer for her but because of no limited access highway to it much longer for both of us to drive to than to either of our houses. I'm going to her house but she has to feed me.