A long week

[barry581]

Today marks one week since Bruce's untimely passing. Sometimes I still think it's just a bad dream and I'll wake up and everything will be ok.

My healing process had begun. I know there was nothing I could have done to know he had an issue, and I know there was nothing I could have done when he passed. It was out of my hands, and I am at peace with that.

I talked with my friends for about 45 minutes yesterday. I'm happy to report all his heart issues are well under control, and he's doing great. I felt so good hearing his voice and how good he sounded. We spoke at length about how could a healthy, fit young dog just die in his sleep. We talked of dogs from the past, and how hard we worked them. His second Champion was also his working dog, picking up on pheasant shoots 4 or 5 days a week until he was 10 years old. How at their local shoot, he'd ride his bicycle, and Guy would run along side, do 20-30 retrieves in the morning. Since it was so close to home he'd bicycle home for lunch, then bicycle back, Guy running at his side both ways. Afternoon drives would produce another 30 or more retrieves, then Guy would trot home next to his master on his bicycle. How fit was this boy!!!!!?????? Can you imagine anything like that now???

I have a good friend of mine who was stationed with us in the UK back them. I got him his first Lab, a breeder was looking to place a dog that wasn't shaping up for showing, and I arranged for my friend to take him. We'd go walking with our dogs every day. I had Ella and Clancy, and we'd go walking 6 to 8 miles a with our three dogs. Running them on what we thought we very hard retrieves. Up hills, over walls, though the woods and underbrush I couldn't think of walking through. They did it, day in, day out.

I ran Bruce hard. We walked every day. I did 100 plus yard retrieves and recalls with him daily, and he never missed a beat. He and Sophie tore around the yard like two demented black cruise missiles, chasing each other in epic games of bitey face. Sophie always got the better of him, she was just that much fast, and that much more coordinated, and had body control Bruce could only dream of. But every now and then, Bruce would roll Sophie. I'd cheer him on when he did, but would tell him "you're going to pay for that"!! And he would. Sophie would beat the crap out of him until he'd finally submit. I'd tell them "enough". Sophie would look very proud of herself, and Bruce would look very relieved.

I woke up this morning and it was still dark. Sophie was laying next to me in bed, my wife had left for work, the house was dark and quite. I picked up my phone and clicked it on. 6:02AM. The time one week ago I heard Bruce breathe his last breath. The time that my heart broke.

For what ever reason, I always seem to have a song going on inside my head when I wake up. Not so much this week. This morning a song was playing and repeating in my head was Mary's Place, by Bruce Springsteen from his Rising Album. This album was released in 2002 and was Bruce's response to what happened on 9/11. I'd always felt Mary's Place was an upbeat, somewhat happy song.

These's lyrics pounded through my head over and over today.

I got seven pictures of Buddha
The prophet's on my tongue
Eleven angels of mercy
Sighin' over that black hole in the sun
My heart's dark but it's risin'
I'm pullin' all the faith I can see
From that black hole on the horizon
I hear your voice calling me

Bruce Springsteen's music is full of symbolism. While I once thought this was a happy song, after today I've changed my mind.

I think "Meet me at Mary's Place" is somewhere in Heaven. And "your voice calling me" is a dead loved one calling out to me, saying one day they will meet me again.

I got a picture of you in my locket
I keep it close to my heart
A light shining in my breast
Leading me through the dark
Seven days, seven candles
In my window light your way
Your favorite record's on the turntable
I drop the needle and pray
Band's countin' out midnight
Floor's rumblin' loud
Singer's callin' up daylight
And waitin' for that shout from the crowd

The last verse of this song. I can't say for certain that I'm interperting the lyrics as Bruce Springsteen meant them, but my heart is dark bit it's rising, and I'm pulling all the faith that I can see, from that black hole on the horizon, I can his voice calling to me...................

Bruce, my wonderful loving boy, I hear your voice calling to me, and one day, you'll again hear my voice calling out to you. Until that day.............................................

[Maxx&Emma]

I love everything Bruce Springsteen but I never thought of this song as happy or upbeat. I always thought it was rather dark, in a Bruce Springsteen kinda way. It will be a song I remember most because it spoke loudly to me after the death of my son.

I am glad your heart is healing a bit, you all remain in my thoughts and prayers.

[Abulafia]

Barry, I arrived here only recently. Would you share a photo or two of Bruce? I'd like to see him.

[Tilly]

Dear Barry, glad to hear that you are feeling/healing a little. It is so apparent in your posts what a connection you had with Bruce and what a special boy he was to you. He was so lucky to have you as his Dad and I bet he knew it. Your paths will cross again, in some way, I am sure. The unconditional love and learnings our dogs give us are for a reason. I hope this gives you some comfort in your grieving. By the by, how is Sophie coping? Continuing to think of you and sending best thoughts, Kim and Tilly

[Blackboy98]

Barry, you are a man with a good heart, wish I could stand next to you and .

[barry581]

Barry, I arrived here only recently. Would you share a photo or two of Bruce? I'd like to see him.

This is Bruce on the left, and Sophie on the right.

If you search through the picture sections, both puppy and adult, you will probably find hundreds of pic of these two. I tried to let everyone here watch Bruce grow up. He arrived here May 29, 2014. There are pictures in here of him from his first day in the USA. I had also posted picture of him from my friends/breeders, but they were probably lost when the board crashed.



Bruce was about 15 months old here.

[BaconsMom]

Barry, my heart aches for you. I was thinking about how hard my week at work was, but I know it is nothing compared to what you are feeling. Bruce, we miss you beautiful boy.

[Annette47]

Barry - I am glad you are slowly finding some peace. My heart aches for you and your beautiful boy.

[Jollymolly]

Barry

[Georgia]

I was thinking of Bruce's breeders and their health issues and was concerned how they would take the news. I'm glad they are doing better and you got to reminisce with them. All of this helps heal the heart.