Need advice.

[janedoe]

I'm concerned about the neighbor I've been helping out. He has essentially abandoned his home. He has another home an hour or so away and has been staying there almost exclusively for the past two years. I didn't really think anything about it until recently when we realized there was a rodent issue that spread to our house and we spent $300 to cut down a dead tree on his property. He doesn't remember things and he has started making fun of my husband's physical issues. He is also flirting with me, telling me he loves me and coming at me on the few occasions he has been at this property which is just downright weird. I'm certain that he has dementia.

He called a few days ago and said that he has shut off the heat. I knew that he had problems with his plumbing but shutting off the heat in a New England winter basically tells me that the home is no longer habitable. Other neighbors have expressed concerns about the house as well but I don't think they know the extent of the issues.

What would you do? I'm thinking that I need to address this with the town but I'm not sure how to go about it. He doesn't have a mailbox at this address. I don't know the address of the other house. He is, essentially, just gone. Any ideas?

[Abulafia]

Is he elderly? Does he have any family you could contact to try to get them to check up on him?

[SunDance]

I hate to intrude on other people but think this might be a good occasion to call the police and request a mental health check up. If the police aren't the right folks, I'm sure they can direct you. The lack of heat is what would prompt my concern. (I don't know that all places do mental health checks but they do exist.)

[POPTOP]

I, too, don't like to intrude on the neighbors but this is a case of helping him. You've done so much to help him and it sounds like he needs more help now. Hopefully, there is some kind of home health check that can be made. Then again, he is not at the house very often which may make it hard. I would start with the police to see what can be done to he does not lose the house completely due to his inability to manage it. This is just so sad. And, the situation does affect your home. Bless you for caring.

[arentspowell]

Sad situation. Does he have any family? Maybe you can find out and get their contact information and let them know your concerns. That would be my first step before getting any government entity involved.

[janedoe]

Thank you. I'm going to see if I can find his son online. He doesn't remember the tree. As in, he doesn't remember he had a tree there. It was a pretty big tree. This smacks of my mother in law.

[Maxx&Emma]

If you are unable to locate family I don't think you have much choice but to contact the proper authorities your area. As sad and intrusive as it is I don't think turning a blind eye is the best thing.

[Bamps]

The county surely would have records of who and where the owner of the property is. The city may also know where and who to contact.

[BaconsMom]

I would talk to the city and warn them. They can then do checks on the house, and if it is having serious issues there will be a notification to the owner. We did something similar when our neighbors were neglecting their home (weeds 8 ft high, grass knee height, dog feces everywhere, etc. and they took the proper actions and our neighbors had to clean up.)