How Much Difference of Opinion Can You Tolerate/Accept in Your Friends?

[Snowshoe]

We learned a friend of the OH shot, and thinks he probably killed, his neighbour's dog. The dog is dead but it ran away when he shot at it. On a visit to him and his now ex-wife years ago he told, with great glee, a story of shooting a coyote. Illegally from the road and in his telling the best part was he shot it's balls off.

Yet this is the man with the ESS my OH hunted over. And this man loved his black and tans that he ran coons with. Of course when they catch up with the coons the story is not nice.

It makes me feel sick to be around him. Literally, I feel like I might vomit. I think he does try to temper his tales when I'm around so he can continue to see the OH.

He and his new live in (who I like and what the heck is wrong with her?) dropped in the other day and I missed them. Yay! I will gladly forgo her company to avoid his. I don't understand what my OH sees in this man that warrants continuing the friendship. Right now I think it's mostly pity. The man is not well. Last year he sold the plane (that he was still flying the year before that - YIKES) and the motorcycle. Just now he's failed his driving test. Pity mixed with a huge sigh of relief.

Do you have friends like this, ones with differences in some important areas? What is it that keeps them friends?

[smartrock]

Anyone whose take on things vary that much from mine, no, not friends. Yes, there are some with differences of opinion on religion, politics, gender issues, the usual, and we can avoid those topics and still be friends. There are some things I wouldn't tolerate. Cruelty to animals, children, other humans of any age would be a biggie. I could not have them in my life. Fortunately my spousal unit feels the same.

[barry581]

Differences of opinions are one thing, differences in humanity are another. If one of my friends told me a story like the coyote story, I'd have told them they were a fu87ing a$$hole, and that would be that. Shooting a dog.... I'd probably beat the crap out of them.

I'm a Libra, so I tend to see both sides of a given issue. That being said, I will not tolerate bullying, cruelty, or abuse. I've told perfect strangers to stop when I've seen them treating their kids in a manner I didn't feel was appropriate. I'm 6'4" and can be pretty intimidating when I need to.

[POPTOP]

There is one person I know who I will have nothing to do with. His view on life and his children is horrible. He's all about himself and dam anyone else. I cannot tolerate him. Snowshoe you know who I mean.

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but there is no leeway in this instance. I'm waiting for the day when circumstances will let me stand toe to toe with him and blast away, i.e., dam the torpedoes.

[Maxx&Emma]

Like Barry said, a difference of opinion in humanity would be a big no for me. I have often put myself in positions that I realize later I was lucky to walk away from to stop something I will not tolerate.

As a matter of fact it happened last night when I called to order take out. The teenager that answered the phone had to ask the asst. manager a question for me. She began berating him, calling him stupid, etc while I was on the phone listening. I asked him to ask her to stop but he was afraid. That is ok, I got in my car and drove to the restaurant and gave the incredibly rude woman a piece of my mind and called the owner today to discuss the situation. Had that been my teenager that was working a part time job, treated like that, I probably would have ended up in jail. Probably the only thing that kept the woman from calling the police when I was done "talking" to her last night was the fact that she realized I know the owner pretty well. Bullies, animal or child abusers, etc make my blood boil.

[janedoe]

I have to be able to say what's on my mind if something like that is going on. Cruelty and taking advantage of others are the big ones for me. I've lost two long time friends because I disagreed with the fact that they started taking advantage of other people and I told them as much. Over time they had simply become people I didn't recognize any more. In both cases they expressed that they felt that everyone else was better off than they were so somehow they were owed what others had. The irony is that if someone else needs something, I'm the first person to see if I can get it for them or have it to give but just taking from other people or damaging their property because of jealousy is something I can't tolerate. Huge pet peeve.

[black_paws]

For me I have Family, Friends, and Aquaintances.
Of that, I have very few people I consider true friends.
I'm on board with what everyone has said thus far.
For me its the criminal act. I have a difficult time with turning a blind eye to commiting a crime, and therefore choose not to associate with such knowingly.
I admit you can't group all things under one umbrella, there are situations that if a person learned a lesson post-conviction and was a "petty" offense, it might be forgiveable/permissable.
But to brag.... I'd like to shoot his balls off and ask him how it felt.

The DH and I have some very different opinions of more recent political / social topics, and since there is no direct impact it doesn't inhibit our coexistance.

[Labradorks]

I have plenty of friends with different opinions than mine (which I am reminded of whenever there is an election coming up -- on boy!). I'm thinking that this is not a difference of opinion, but a difference in ethics, which IMHO is a much bigger deal. And, no. No friends that kill pets or hunt illegally and then brag about it.

[JC001]

Difference in opinions is one thing, differences in values and ethics is another.

It's OK to be friends with people who have a difference of opinion as long as both agree to disagree, but I cannot be friends with someone who is unethical or have different core values.

[arentspowell]

This individual just seems reckless. It will catch up with him one day.