Life with A Lab Over 10

[Tanya]

I see so many of our beloved pups leaving us between the ages of 10-13 (and the lucky few who make it to a lovely 14-16 years of age). I find myself on pins and needles since Rocky turned 10, current health issues aside (he turned 12 yesterday). I try to live in the moment, keep him comfortable and happy and ENJOY these days with him. But I find myself constantly waiting for the other foot to drop. It's my first time living with a senior dog like this (on my own, for our family dogs I was in and out of the house when the dogs were seniors and I was not around at the end). I think things like "this might be his last birthday". "this might be his last summer". I don't want to think like that but i do.

I find myself wanting to ask questions i don't want to ask. Like...how exactly does one go about putting their baby to sleep when the time does come. I mean the actual technicalities.getting there, what room they use, do i bring penny, what happens when i leave the room, what happens to the body, what's the cost, will i want someone with me or to be alone (I am single). But while I feel i prefer to know "ahead of time" I also really don't want to talk about it per say.

This end of dog ownership is much harder than I expected. I wasn't ready for it. I guess no one EVER is though.

[shellbell]

I don't have any advise, but I totally get how you are thinking this way. Tux is my first dog ever, he'll be eight in August and I already find myself having panic attacks when I think about him getting older, and having to think about those type of things. Really have to just try and live in the moment, after all that is what our dogs do!

[Annette47]

((HUGS)) I think I mourned Scully for a good 3-4 years before she was actually gone. Hard though it is to lose them, the stuff you are talking about does get easier the more times you go through it.

[Snowshoe]

I was the same with Jet, even after having had dogs before who lived to a really good old age, age wise and health/activity wise. But with Jet I had all the Lab statistics, not to mention the internet that provided a lot of them so I started worrying at age 10. I reasoned if the average age was 12 then 10 must be the start.

The PTS question was not so hard with Jet. She hurt her back, she got dramatically worse after one happy, exuberant outing. Plus I'd had many more cats than dogs. The biggest reason though, was my experience with Whisper, who the new Vet convinced me could be helped yet, at age 14.5, and ended up dying all alone, overnight at the Vets.

Never again will I let a pet of mine face that alone and never again will I allow life to be prolonged beyond reason and since I'm the one with the pet more I get to decide what is reasonable. It's gone both ways with Vets, do it now they said, I said no, she's not that bad at home.

The OH is not able to handle pet end of life and despite my best intentions our last cat died at home. I would have taken her in sooner, when I saw the signs, but he is one of those people who does not accept death as a part of life. He says from now on he will listen to me. It's surprising really, because he watched his own Grandmother die a lingering, agonizing death yet he cannot bring himself to spare another creature that. When I knew Jet was near I did get his permission to make a decision in his abscence, did make it, and called him to come home after.

It's tough, it's sad, no amount of previous experience softens the grief but for me I think it did help me to put the critter ahead of myself.

[Sue-Ram]

Happy Birthday Rocky!!

Ram is my first dog, so I have no insight or words of wisdom other than enjoy every second he's with you.

[Tanya]

wow! your posts really cover how i feel! like i am mourning rocky before he is gone! and exactly, the average person loses their lab by 12 so start counting the day at 10 While I hate you all went thru this as well, it's also good to know I am not alone.

not looking for advice, i think the above is what i was looking for - just sharing similar experiences. commiserating a bit maybe.

I have a list of fears and yes being stuck at home with rocky dying and being helpless (i have no car, and i certainly cannot lift him). I think i do need to start making a plan in case something happens, maybe chat with a friend and my brother about it. I would rather gently have him go even maybe a smidge earlier to ensure he isn't in much pain. One of my dad's biggest regret with our last family dog is having waited too long. While I in NO WAY will rush rocky away, nor do I want him suffering.

[ZZSW7Y]

Its been over two years since i had to put my cat to sleep because he had a stroke at the age of 16, almost 17 years old. It was an instant change overnight due to the stroke and you could tell he wasn't the same as a result. Making the decision was not the hardest thing for me to do because i knew it was the right decision as it was about his quality of life. The hardest thing was having to say goodbye. I promised myself i would stand by him as he went and I did.

I try to believe that our pets tell us when they are ready. We know the signs that show they are happy and when they are in pain and we need to use that knowledge to help decide when the time is right. Again i think they will show us when its time. The best we can hope for is that they pass on in their sleep without any pain.

Don't focus on their age too much and just enjoy the time you have. Just be smart and give them the extra love and nutrition they need and they can live many many more years.

[barry581]

I see so many of our beloved pups leaving us between the ages of 10-13 (and the lucky few who make it to a lovely 14-16 years of age). I find myself on pins and needles since Rocky turned 10, current health issues aside (he turned 12 yesterday). I try to live in the moment, keep him comfortable and happy and ENJOY these days with him. But I find myself constantly waiting for the other foot to drop. It's my first time living with a senior dog like this (on my own, for our family dogs I was in and out of the house when the dogs were seniors and I was not around at the end). I think things like "this might be his last birthday". "this might be his last summer". I don't want to think like that but i do.

I find myself wanting to ask questions i don't want to ask. Like...how exactly does one go about putting their baby to sleep when the time does come. I mean the actual technicalities.getting there, what room they use, do i bring penny, what happens when i leave the room, what happens to the body, what's the cost, will i want someone with me or to be alone (I am single). But while I feel i prefer to know "ahead of time" I also really don't want to talk about it per say.

This end of dog ownership is much harder than I expected. I wasn't ready for it. I guess no one EVER is though.

I've been there at the end for most of my dogs. The only one I wasn't there for was Ella, as I was on a remote assignment in Alaska with the USAF, while my family was living in Utah. To this day I still feel guilty because I wasn't there for her.

My answers to your questions.

how exactly does one go about putting their baby to sleep when the time does come

I've always been able to call my vet and take the dog in to their office within 20 minutes of making the phone call.

I mean the actual technicalities.getting there, what room they use

I've transported the dogs to the vets office. I've carried several into the office, as they were having difficulty walking. My vet uses the normal exam room. Talk to your vet and see if they will do it in your home.

do i bring penny

It's up to you. It may be beneficial for Penny to see what happened to Rocky. When I found Bruce passed away, I had Sophie come over and sniff him, and she laid with me as I was crying and stroking Bruce. I thing she understood what happened and she had no distress that he was gone.

what happens to the body, what's the cost

What happens to the body is up to you. You can take him a bury him if you have a place to do it. If not, you can have him cremated and have his ashes returned to you. The last time I had to do this was almost 5 years ago, and my Vet charged $125 which included cremation.

will i want someone with me or to be alone (I am single).

If you feel like you need someone there for support, I'd recommend it.

As hard as it was to make these decisions, I've always felt a certain sense of relief afterwards. It's very emotional, I'll cry and tear up for a time after I send one over the Bridge. It's the hardest part of having a dog. I promise all my dogs that I will do what's best for them when the time comes, not matter how much it hurts me. I owe then this for the years of unconditional love they've given me. I've said this here before, but I feel it's the ultimate act of love to help them pass with dignity.

[Maxx&Emma]

I am facing this with Emma right now, a bit over a year behind you, I understand everything you are feeling. I celebrate each day with Emma after her cancer surgery 2 years ago. She was just at the vet for her 6 month check up on Monday with 2 new lumps checked. Thankfully they were fatty lipomas, I had been holding my breath for days after finding them. My vet thinks she looks good for everything she is dealing with but I live with her and watching her age, I just hate it. It seems like yesterday I brought a tiny puppy home with her siblings, finished raising them, letting all but her go to great homes. Out of a litter of 11 she has lost 2 siblings recently, that has broken my heart.

I have lost other dogs over the years, none affected me to the extent losing Ozzy did. It was so sudden and he was still young. Almost 5 years later and I still tear up whenever I think about him.

I do think every fear/thought you are having is similar to that of many of us. Sending you prayers of comfort and strength along with ((((hugs)))).

[POPTOP]

I see so many of our beloved pups leaving us between the ages of 10-13 (and the lucky few who make it to a lovely 14-16 years of age). I find myself on pins and needles since Rocky turned 10, current health issues aside (he turned 12 yesterday). I try to live in the moment, keep him comfortable and happy and ENJOY these days with him. But I find myself constantly waiting for the other foot to drop. It's my first time living with a senior dog like this (on my own, for our family dogs I was in and out of the house when the dogs were seniors and I was not around at the end). I think things like "this might be his last birthday". "this might be his last summer". I don't want to think like that but i do.

I find myself wanting to ask questions i don't want to ask. Like...how exactly does one go about putting their baby to sleep when the time does come. I mean the actual technicalities.getting there, what room they use, do i bring penny, what happens when i leave the room, what happens to the body, what's the cost, will i want someone with me or to be alone (I am single). But while I feel i prefer to know "ahead of time" I also really don't want to talk about it per say.

This end of dog ownership is much harder than I expected. I wasn't ready for it. I guess no one EVER is though.

You know we home seniors. I'm not unfamiliar with the process.

First, I had to learn that "mourning" before they go does no good, in fact, it takes away from the time and greatness they give while they are with us. That was a hard lesson to learn. I'll stop and watch Mardi as she sleeps, making sure she is OK. I hear her change in breathing at night or when she changes position. When she is awake, we celebrate life together. Sometimes it's as simple as a belly rub, other times it putting her in her harness and going for a 5 minute walk. Oh, what joy she has and what love she gives. I don't think ahead of today and luckily our furkids live in the moment, they do not project to the future.

My DH cannot go for the final trip and I respect that. You might want to talk to your vet about the process. For us it has always happened in the evening or when our vet was closed. The e-vet knows us well and they are so compassionate and supportive. You will be asked if you want your pet cremated, then given a pamphlet of choices. Depending on your choice, the price can vary. I've found it to be about $350; I choose a solid oak urn since DH is a work worker. Each time the dog was weighed and taken to the back for an IV to be put in. A sedative is given. In Melody's case I asked for the sedative to be done immediately as she was so nervous at the vet; too many past experiences. This calms the dog. We are placed in a room, the dog laying on a blanket, nice and soft. Often the blanket is pulled up over their rear end as they may lose bowel/bladder control. At that point I am given all the time I want to say goodbye. When I'm ready, the vet comes in with the final injection which is quick and since it is put in with the already set up IV, painless. The vet stays with us, checks the heartbeat, and lets me know when they are gone. Again, I am then given all the time I want. Vets and e-vets have arrangements with pet crematoriums for pick up. When the ashes are ready, they call. I'm always in awe as the ashes are brought to me, held compassionately by the tech, snuggled close to them. If you wish to bury your pet, at least around here, you can pick them up and take them.

Open and frank because we all need to know what to expect.

I don't consider the "end" because they are always with me, snuggled deep in my heart. Yes, it's hard, devastating. It's a promise kept when they joined our family - I will do everything to make them happy and healthy but when the time comes, I will not let them suffer in pain and illness.

Hugs to you. I know what you are feeling and going through. Rejoice in today, soak up every bit of love they are giving you today. Don't think about tomorrow because no matter what you do, tomorrow will be what it is going to be.