Co-worker who does not say please & thank you.

[MontananDakota]

I've mentioned her before. Im the office admin. and most everyone here treats me nicely, except for her. And I don't think its me personally, she would do it to anyone "beneath" her. She came to me, without saying good morning or hello and handed me a flash drive, said "I need this printed to send" walked away. As she walked away mumbled she'd help me when I'm done printing it (with what I have no idea I can manage to send out without help) I am hot, my hair is standing straight up I am so pissed off right now because it was her tone-very demanding, no please, no thank you. Oh. My. Goodness. Honestly-she is the favorite here by the bosses and they have no idea this is how she treats me....I am not sure what to do if anything. This is not a one time thing. This is how she is. I even put up a pretty little sign that says "say please & thank you". I am miserable when I have to interact with her. I hate confrontation. What to do?

[POPTOP]

If she approaches you in a similar situation, asks/demands something, pause, look her straight in the eye and say Good Morning/Afternoon, and pause seeing if she will respond in like. Or, How are you this morning/afternoon. Keep direct eye contact and wait for her response.

If she drops off another "job" look her right in the eye and say, You're Welcome. In other words, don't stoop to her level and slam her with kindness. May or may not work but you know you are being the nice person.

[barry581]

I'm with Fran, kill her with kindness.

The people who own the restaurant where I work are like this. I've been thanked, and or complimented one time in 6 years. They are the same with everyone, not just me. Even though I don't manage or supervise anyone (by choice) I make sure I'm very nice to everyone who works there. Please, thank you, nice job, what can I help you with, I'd be happy to teach you, etc. This has resulted in pretty much everyone who works with me will do anything I ask, and will come to me with problems or issues before they go to the manager or owners. I can get a lot of stuff done because off this.

When I was a manager, I always did everything within my power to take care of my people. I found people were much happier and motivated when they felt the boss was solidly behind them.

[MontananDakota]

its not that way here. Upper level people make sure to give off the vibe that they are 'upper level' people and some with degrees or higher degrees make it known that they feel superior to those who do not have a college degree. I have never worked for people who so blatantly acted better than me. ...while I struggle to complete my Associates degree and do my best to raise my dd well.

[thndrkttn]

its not that way here. Upper level people make sure to give off the vibe that they are 'upper level' people and some with degrees or higher degrees make it known that they feel superior to those who do not have a college degree. I have never worked for people who so blatantly acted better than me. ...while I struggle to complete my Associates degree and do my best to raise my dd well.

Heh. Try working with attorneys all day long. It's implied that they are better than you. And if I had a dollar for every time that I was neither asked with a please or answered with a thank you, uh, I'd be rich. I'm just happy when they don't out and out demand it.

[BogeyBaby]

I would go back to her and ask a million unanswered questions:

How many copies do you need?
Do you need them collated?
Do you have a preference on the color of paper used?
Would you like me to put them in envelopes for you?
Do you have address labels or should I write out the addresses for you?

Lots of those things. Seriously, doesn't she have a printer of her own?

[Macy]

I was raised to say please and thank you. I do not understand people who can't use it or think they don't need to. I would incorporate it into your own vocabulary as frequently as possibly- maybe it will rub off. And if it doesn't at least you are cheerful and polite. That may make you feel better.

[Mr Kleb]

Yup, kindness.

I've performed various office support roles for approaching three decades. During that time I've worked for and with all kinds of people including insensitive people, idiots, jerks, what have you. Accepting people as they are and not taking their attitude personally is an ongoing process.

Doesn't mean I like every person I work with, every (so-called) superior. Each person is free to be a jerk, to act superior, and so on. I am free to maintain my self-respect, to treat that person as I was brought up by being polite, professional, saying please and thank you.

I'm reminded of a quote attributed to Mohandas Ghandi - I will not let anyone walk through my mind [my addition: or my self-respect] with their dirty feet.

[barry581]

its not that way here. Upper level people make sure to give off the vibe that they are 'upper level' people and some with degrees or higher degrees make it known that they feel superior to those who do not have a college degree. I have never worked for people who so blatantly acted better than me. ...while I struggle to complete my Associates degree and do my best to raise my dd well.

That's sad. Realistically, over the years I learned much more from the bad bosses I had than the good ones. I always swore when I was put in a position of power, I'd use it for the good of those who worked for me. I always felt my success was dependent upon the success of those I was chosen to lead. If they failed, I failed, if they succeeded, then I succeeded. I also would not promote anyone who hadn't trained someone to replace them. There is often such fear in seeing someone who works for you passing you up the ladder. I always said bullshit to that.

To the OP, all I can say is learn from what you are seeing, for someday you may be the one in charge. One thing I've always, always, always stressed, it to not take things in the business world personal. It's very hard not to, but often you are just playing into the "game" when you do. Just smile and press on.

[sparky]

One of my favorite tricks is a plain old "no thank you"
Example: I need these printed right away. "No thank you". It really takes them off guard. I had a "gentleman" walk into my office and say I want a 3 meter patch cord right now. I looked him right in his eyes and said no thank you. His jaw dropped open and he turned and left. 20 minutes later he came back and said "I would like to get a 3 meter patch cord if it's not to much trouble. I said, no problem, I'll get that for you right now. Other people need a more direct approach. One "gentleman" would yell at me if I didn't understand what he wanted immediately. One day he started yelling at me and I lowered my voice and said, Look if I want any s&*! outta you I'll squeeze it outta your head. To this day he does not yell at me. Different strokes for different folks.