What would you say?

**janedoe** · 10-25-2016, 07:36 PM

I love my sister. I do. At this point, however, I'm thinking of bailing on her current situation.

She married a guy who she had an affair with for years while they were both married to other people. She did this knowing full well that he was an addict. Ten years and one kid of their own into it, his company went bankrupt. It was an excruciating process and he was in charge of it. He started a new job at a very high level and, within months he was sleeping with one of his employees who is his oldest daughter's age. You know the drill. Oh, it was just a few times. It didn't mean anything. Blah, blah, blah and she forgave him. Now it turns out that he's still with this very young woman but still loves my sister.

So now they're separated and headed for divorce but my concern is that she's hooked on drama and all indications are that she'll drag it out.

I get that this is beyond painful but this is a very very serious problem in my opinion. This is a lawsuit waiting to happen and she needs to protect herself. This divorce can't happen fast enough. She is a legal professional but, oddly, rarely applies these kinds of things to her personal life.

My first inclination is to tell her in no uncertain terms that she needs to unload this guy immediately to protect herself and two youngest. All of the other kids are in college or his with his first wife. But there's another part of me that's just shaking my head going, "Really?", remembering all of the times I've said what I had to say and just been ignored so why bother.

What would you say?

**kimbersmom** · 10-25-2016, 08:39 PM

I would say absolutely nothing.

**barry581** · 10-25-2016, 08:41 PM

Originally Posted by kimbersmom

I would say absolutely nothing.

Same here.

**janedoe** · 10-25-2016, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by kimbersmom

I would say absolutely nothing.

Great. That's where I was leaning.

**smartrock** · 10-25-2016, 08:42 PM

Yeah, sounds like she probably knows how you feel so I'm not sure saying almost anything will accomplish anything but create tension between the 2 of you. Unless she asks for your opinion, I'd probably not offer it.

**POPTOP** · 10-25-2016, 10:26 PM

Have to agree, say nothing. She has to face the reality herself.

**SunDance** · 10-26-2016, 05:09 AM

Ditto.

**Bounty's Wife** · 10-26-2016, 08:14 AM

Yup. I would say nothing. Until she is ready for advice, she won't listen anyway, and when she is ready (if ever), she will come to you.

**MontananDakota** · 10-26-2016, 01:01 PM

same here: nothing. I have been in your situation with my sister and if she didn't listen to me the first 180,000 times, she isn't gonna listen now.

**sparky** · 10-26-2016, 01:10 PM

Seems to be a consensus. I would have to agree, say nothing.

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