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  1. #1
    House Broken charlie55's Avatar
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    Divorce and DOGS!

    Hi All - a complex question I have.

    I am leaving my marriage and it has been determined that I will have Charlie.

    I was okay with Charlie seeing his DAD on weekends as we really are both very close to him.

    Is this too confusing for a dog? I mean they will adapt correct?

    In my search for a new place, I made sure it was dog friendly and actually all on my checklist was will it be okay for Charlie

    Life is complex and thank goodness for Charlie.

  2. #2
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    Sorry about your marriage...regardless of who/what/when, it's always a bummer when something you have high hopes for doesn't turn out the way you anticipate.

    I think Charlie will be fine. You might find with time, though, that he prefers the company of the one of you who spends the most interactive time with him.

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  4. #3
    Senior Dog smartrock's Avatar
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    I'm sorry to read of this life change you all are experiencing. My guess is that since Charlie knows and loves you both, he will adapt to being wherever one of you are. Our dogs have always done fine in a new location, hotel room, rental home, visiting family, move to another house, as long as one of us is around and their schedule is fairly consistent. If he has 2 beds or crates he's already familiar with, maybe one bed could go to one place and another to the other. While Charlie may adapt OK, how will you guys manage hand off on weekends, vet care, stuff like that? You don't need to tell us, just think about it since it will require a level of communication you may have wished to avoid. I guess if it doesn't work out to switch him back and forth like that after you've given it a few months, you could always revisit the plan in the future.

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  6. #4
    House Broken charlie55's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smartrock View Post
    I'm sorry to read of this life change you all are experiencing. My guess is that since Charlie knows and loves you both, he will adapt to being wherever one of you are. Our dogs have always done fine in a new location, hotel room, rental home, visiting family, move to another house, as long as one of us is around and their schedule is fairly consistent. If he has 2 beds or crates he's already familiar with, maybe one bed could go to one place and another to the other. While Charlie may adapt OK, how will you guys manage hand off on weekends, vet care, stuff like that? You don't need to tell us, just think about it since it will require a level of communication you may have wished to avoid. I guess if it doesn't work out to switch him back and forth like that after you've given it a few months, you could always revisit the plan in the future.
    Thank you smartrock - what you stated is exactly why my husband said it is best that he not see Charlie as it will require all of those communications and quite frankly, it will probably complicate things as it will be simpler to part completely.
    I did offer the weekends as I did not want to be vindictive as he LOVES this dog too. My offer was I would take care of everything - Charlie goes to "doggie" day care at least once a week and I suggested that could be the trade off place.

    I suppose whatever happens, Charlie will adapt. He will still have one of us in his life.

  7. #5
    Senior Dog Snowshoe's Avatar
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    I'm sorry too, it can't be what you hoped for. I have no personal or second hand experience with your exact situation but I imagine it can't be too different from dogs (and children) who spend part of a day with a grandparent. My sister's dogs stayed with Grandma while Sis worked. Now, this was from puppyhood and Sis and Grandma spent time at each other's houses. Sometimes the dog had to be told which one of them he/she was supposed to be with that day but they figured it out. I'm sure Charlie will work it out after a bit of time and be happy as long as there is one of you with him.
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  9. #6
    Senior Dog Labradorks's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about your marriage.

    Dogs are generally adaptable. I would just see how it goes and if the dog is having a tough go of it, discuss the situation and make changes. Some dogs are generally better than others about this stuff. You won't know until you try it.

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  11. #7
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    Sorry you all are going through this.

    Most dogs are very adaptable and continue to recognize and be very friendly with those with whom they've lived and loved. I went through this with my first Lab, Bess, and she was always delighted to see and visit with her "Mom" (which we arranged to do regularly because of concerns similar to yours). And more recently, although B___ and I were not married, Puff and I lived with her for most of the last 4 years of her life and Puff was always happy to see her again.

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  13. #8
    Senior Dog Berna's Avatar
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    I am so sorry to hear about your marriage.

    Labs are very adaptable and I believe Charlie will be fine. Fingers crossed.
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