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    1. #11
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      Shelley's Avatar
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      I feel badly for you, but 2 of the 3 answers aren't what you want to hear, and I am afraid you are just listening to what you want to hear to try to force it to work. China is older and she doesn't need a young rude dog up in her business, that she may be getting to old to defend herself against. Not all dogs love each other, Labradors are usually pretty good with each other, but other breeds sometimes not.
      I really sincerely feel that you deserve a dog that fits better into your lifestyle too, and that it's the best interests of everyone, if you take Amber back. The longer you keep her, the more attached you will become, and the higher the chances of a more serious fight, since things aren't cooling off in the days since you brought her home. I am pretty surprised the shelter allowed you to bring Amber home with a nervous/too scared (China) to get out of the car dog with you. I know you adopted her with the best intentions, I am sure the shelter will take her back and find her a good home. You absolutely will not be giving up on her, you will be giving her the gift of a better situation and home. I am sure Amber is stressed too.

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    3. #12
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      When we got Maverick, we had a dog aggressive female. Knowing this, we kept the dogs completely separate. Different rooms. One was always crated. The only interaction they got was walking, closing the distance between the two over the course of a few weeks, and nose sniffing they a chain link fence. Since Mia was the aggressive one, we gave her serious praise for any positive interaction. Within like 1-2 months they could have supervised leashed play. Eventually they became friends.

      It will take time and it will be stressful. Do you know why Amber was surrendered? Was it due to aggression issues?


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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    5. #13
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      Thanks guys. Of course I want this to work. These girls are actually the same age. I do not have information on why she was surrendered. She was in a shelter in South Carolina for an unknown amount of time prior to coming to NJ. Here she was in the shelter for 6 months. She is 10 years. China is also 10.

    6. #14
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      First I wanted to congratulate you on adopting a senior baby. I am sorry it has been a struggle for all of you.

      When we fostered it would take the dog a couple of weeks to actually settle down enough so you could see their real personality come out. Even with our Coleman after his adoption his true Ferdinand self didn't come out for about a month. Some dogs could relax sooner some took the full two weeks or longer. It is so hard not knowing Amber's background to help her settle in with your family.

      My little Annie was a GSD/beagle mix we always had to watch her around food and other dogs the hound side of her would come out and try to grab food. I would love to tell you to just give Amber time to settle spending time with her to figure out if she is growling or if it is just the Bassett bay coming out. If you could hear my Ginger you would think she was vicious but she just has a rough sounding voice. It all comes down to what you and your family feel safe and comfortable with concerning both Amber and China. I am not sure how you feel about an animal communicator but Karen Wrigley helped us out a bit with a couple of ours.
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      Coleman - CGC blk lab 6/02/97-2/25/08 adopted
      Tootsie - choc lab 10/19/99-8/03/13 adopted
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      rescued felines - AJ - 8/00 - 1/11, Merlin - 5/20/05, Tucker - 8/3/10, Penny - 7/7/13

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      MontananDakota (12-12-2017)

    8. #15
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      Animal communicator? How fabulous! I'd love to hear more about her?

      So the update is good. The girls were with my dh yesterday for a few hours while I was at work still and I seriously believe his neutral energy helped to dissipate the anxious energy I had been putting out. By the time I got home they were much better. Only one incident of Amber growling at China and it was while China was playing with her favorite tennis ball and Amber I think wanted it. I was in the middle of them keeping them a distance apart so that they could both play and not tangle. Even at that -it was only a growl and when I corrected her with a calm Shh! she looked at me I swear as if to say "oh I don't want you to be upset with me".
      Rest of the evening was peaceful and this morning even more so. Amber looked at China once this morning and I quickly diverted her attention away and gave her praise when she looked away. She gets treats only when China is present and China is much more calm. Not totally relaxed but WHAT a HUGE difference.

      Thanks everyone for the advice. I really should have known better than to put them straight away together and I should have known about the decompression period as well. I just didn't know. I see a huge difference in Amber-she is distressing a bit. And now I can tell just how stressed she was.
      I feel like she has not had love in so long that she learned to survive without it. Now she is starting to trust me and we're both loving it.
      Next I will be reading up on Bagel mixes so that I can understand her better. I have only had retrievers and we all know how easy and trainable Labs are. China has even learned thru this a few hand signals that I inadvertently taught her lol Labs are still the bomb for me but this little mix is cute

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    10. #16
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      Perhaps Amber needs to be in a "one dog household". I can certainly understand how difficult this is...but I could not allow another dog to attack my loving dog that I've had for years.

      It's not fair to China...

      I have to politely agree with the others here, and I know your heart is in the right place...but it may be best to return her to the shelter.

      Just curious, do you know why Amber ended up in the shelter to begin with. My heart goes out to her too...but again..she may thrive much better in a one dog household.

      You can't expect China to change or even accept her...this is her only home that she's had her whole life...

      Seniors are so special...you don't want to add this terrible stress on her at her age...

      Just my opinion.

      **Edit...I didn't read your most recent post...I guess things are getting better...best of luck to you.

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    12. #17
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      Quote Originally Posted by lovemylabby View Post
      Perhaps Amber needs to be in a "one dog household". I can certainly understand how difficult this is...but I could not allow another dog to attack my loving dog that I've had for years.

      It's not fair to China...

      I have to politely agree with the others here, and I know your heart is in the right place...but it may be best to return her to the shelter.

      Just curious, do you know why Amber ended up in the shelter to begin with. My heart goes out to her too...but again..she may thrive much better in a one dog household.

      You can't expect China to change or even accept her...this is her only home that she's had her whole life...

      Seniors are so special...you don't want to add this terrible stress on her at her age...

      Just my opinion.
      I could not agree more...

    13. #18
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      When we first rescued Ginger she was so different from our mellow laid back labs and newfy mix after the first couple of days it was discussed that maybe we made a mistake. Then she came into heat and we realized some of her actions were related to that going on. We rescued Ginger in December and Coleman passed in February when that happened our household was a mess and Ginger tried to move up and take over. I love my Ginger but she isn't leadership material LOL

      That being said I would make sure China gets fed first, treats first, attention first, goes in/out the door first etc until Amber settles in a bit more. This will help Amber know where her place is right now in your family giving her structure and one less thing for her to worry and stress about. It sounds like she is starting to relax a bit and they both are finding their way. Continued good thoughts for happy household.

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    15. #19
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      Quote Originally Posted by labsnewfy View Post
      make sure China gets fed first, treats first, attention first, goes in/out the door first etc until Amber settles in a bit more. This will help Amber know where her place is right now in your family giving her structure and one less thing for her to worry and stress about. It sounds like she is starting to relax a bit and they both are finding their way. Continued good thoughts for happy household.
      Yes!! This exactly is what I am doing and from the moment I started doing it, it seemed to make a difference ( along with the neutral energy of my dh which made the biggest difference to help turn things in the positive direction). So I've told the household that this is how we will do things going forward and everyone is on board. I was really upset around Sunday-ish and now I feel so much better about this. Amber is definitely settling into our daily routine. Gosh I'm starting to think about all the pets who get returned quickly and feel bad because now I see what a huge difference it makes to give them time and truly be their leader. I honestly never stopped to think that the stress level in a shelter pet is so much so that getting free doesn't diminish it immediately. Side note: Amber loves the quiet in our house. China's energy calms everyone and I think it is having an effect on Amber too even though they are still separated for the most part they can still feel each others energy in the house I'm sure.

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    17. #20
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      So happy things are working for your family. With shelter pets they hear other dogs barking etc, sometimes their isn't enough staff to get everyone out for a walk let alone one on one attention with the dogs and cats. And usually the room for their final walk is on sight so they smell and sense that too. The shelter life is hard for some but unbearable for others pushing to breaking point. yes as you said a lot of pets are returned because the adoptive family doesn't give them enough time to settle.

      I am so happy you are giving Amber a second chance, continued good thoughts for a quiet content household

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      MontananDakota (12-14-2017)

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