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  • Results 1 to 6 of 6
    1. #1
      Senior Dog
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      janedoe's Avatar
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      Family feedback.

      When do you know a family member relationship is done?

      In this case, someone I haven't seen for some time is coming through for her daughter's graduation. She's traveled here frequently and made noises about seeing us but she never followed up even after we set aside the time. She has been to our home and couldn't even remember that we had goats. Now she's specifying a one hour window early on a weekday for "brunch". I'm not even sure what that means. Another of her daughters has been living an hour away for years now and expressed zero interest in coming to see us.

      My first inclination was to say, "Yes! We would love to see you." But re-reading the e-mail disturbed me and this would cause a problem for us. It's not like we were invited to any kind of graduation celebrations and she's talking about a meet location off of an interstate so nothing special there.

      I'm tempted to respond, "It sounds like that would be really inconvenient for you and you don't need that kind of stress for the occasion. Please congratulate your daughter for us."

      Am I wrong? This was an obligation thing, right?

    2. #2
      Senior Dog
      SunDance's Avatar
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      I would respond, "oh gosh, I really can't make it. congratulate your daughter for us."
      Hidden Content

      Sunnie: gotcha day 03/08/09; birth unknown but given 07/01/02

      Danny: The Sundance Kid....Sunnie's boy....birth 03/31/09 (in my living room)

      Barb (ID formerly "Baffle")

    3. The Following User Says Thank You to SunDance For This Useful Post:

      janedoe (04-28-2019)

    4. #3
      Senior Dog
      Snowshoe's Avatar
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      You must go and report back here.
      Hidden Content

      Oh boy. A stick in the SNOW! Hidden Content

    5. The Following User Says Thank You to Snowshoe For This Useful Post:

      janedoe (04-28-2019)

    6. #4
      Senior Dog
      smartrock's Avatar
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      If it's not convenient, just tell her it won't work for you but thanks for thinking of you, congrats to her daughter, no other explanation needed. If you'd like to see her, go grab breakfast at the place she suggests (unless there's a better place you want to suggest), catch up, and don't worry about it. She didn't have to mention her trip at all and could have blown by you with nary a word. Sounds like she was offering a quick visit that wouldn't inconvenience you by saying I'm coming to your house so please get things straightened up and prepare a nice meal for us to enjoy. If you go, I wouldn't feel obligated to do anything more than tell her to congratulate her daughter and wish her well.

      As for graduations, my kids received a limited number of tickets for guests to attend either the baccalaureate ceremony or the graduation ceremony itself. So parents, siblings, maybe a grandparent, aunt or boyfriend could attend but no more than a few guests. There were many relatives who just couldn't be invited even though we are pretty close. There would have been nothing for a larger group of out of town relatives to do while we were busy with graduation events. I wouldn't be insulted by the lack of an invitation to the actual graduation events. Our kids' graduation weekends were a whirlwind of activity and wouldn't have allowed time for catching up on family events anyway.

    7. The Following User Says Thank You to smartrock For This Useful Post:

      janedoe (04-28-2019)

    8. #5
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      janedoe's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Snowshoe View Post
      You must go and report back here.
      I have something called my Top Ten. It's a list that consists of the worst things my relatives have ever said or done. This one told me that her stepson was getting a worthless degree in philosophy while my husband was there. Guess what his PhD is in? Yep. There's some darker stuff like trying to get someone to commit suicide so that his wife could collect the life insurance.

      You know what? Come to think of it I'm just not in the mood.

    9. #6
      House Broken
      Marmot's Avatar
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      Oh boy, this sounds like my SIL, are we related and don't realize it? I'd just nicely turn her down, to me it sounds like, we really don't see each other that much but my kid is graduating or it's their birthday so you can give them a gift. That is the kind of invitation from my SIL, I turn them down, especially after what she pulled with my parents belongings when my father passed away. I have a screwed up family but I won't contribute to the insanity!

    10. The Following User Says Thank You to Marmot For This Useful Post:

      janedoe (05-04-2019)

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