Advice for someone with brain damage?

[janedoe]

For many years we went to a restaurant owned by my mother in law's friend. She was very family oriented and frequently hired local teenagers on a seasonal basis to help them out with college tuition. They could pick up shifts pretty much whenever they wanted and she would accommodate.

We came to know a young man over the years. He started a program for college credits at a local community college while attending high school, doubling down so that he could get a step ahead. It was funded through the Gateway program that the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation funds.

The restaurant closed a few years ago because the owner had health issues. She's almost 90 now and it probably won't reopen.

We decided to try a relatively new Asian restaurant down the street recently. It's been open for a couple of years but we were skeptical since they serve a lot of different kinds of food. It turns out that this young man now works there. He told us that last year he fell asleep at the wheel and wound up in a coma for four months. He had to relearn everything, including how to walk.

He's clearly still having quite a few problems. We go in a lot and the owner at this new restaurant recently told us that she's having problems with him in the kitchen and he's forgetting to charge. There are other people from the first restaurant working there and he has a support system but the owner of the new restaurant is getting frustrated. The food is very good.

Clearly he has made an amazing amount of progress. We know that the brain creates new neural pathways as time goes on and I was wondering if anyone had any advice on the best way to support him and encourage his employment. We spoke to him for a while last night when we were the only ones in the restaurant (lots of takeout but no other sit down customers) and after a while it was like he was his old self. I don't see any reason he can't make a full recovery but might be discouraged if he gets canned.

[Jollymolly]

Its a hard call with a TBI its all about new coping skills and learning to work with something that does not work the way you would like it to. If the owner is frustrated take that multipy it by 100 and that is how frustrated he most likley is. If he is forgeting to charge then that is not what he should be doing. In other words the encouragment should be about what he can do. In order to rebuild confidence. It takes a long time to re train the brain with lots of set backs.

I am touched that people care as so few are shown this.

Thank you

[doubledip1]

I would encourage him to join a support group for people with TBI. I agree, he is most likely 100x more frustrated than the owner of the restaurant. Honestly, I would even post a review on Yelp or their Facebook page saying what a pleasure he is as your waiter (don't mention the TBI), etc.

[CraftHer]

From the restaurant owner's point of view, this is their livelihood and they could be loosing some much needed income. A few dollars here and there may not seem like much, but it adds up. Also, customers will take advantage and make a bad situation worse.

I think a support group would be a great idea, if that's an option. Also, through a support group he may learn some things that he can pass along to the restaurant owners so that they can help him help himself. They may not even know what they can do to help. There could be some simple changes that could greatly help.

I also think a Yelp or FB post would be a good thing you can do, too.

[bett]

the restaurant owner should take the "charging " task away from him for now.

i hope his recovery continues. very very sad.

[Maxx&Emma]

I agree with everything said above. I hope the restaurant owner is willing/able to work with this young man. Bless you for caring so much.

[janedoe]

Thank you everyone.

I did yelp them and told her about it when we spoke the other day. It was the first review in four months so hopefully that will help get them some traffic. It's a pretty small community and his family has been there for three generations. After a while everyone knows each other so I hope she takes that into account. I appreciate her position but she also listed all of the people who were coming to the restaurant because he is working there.

We have a ton of experience with Alzheimers but that was a losing battle. This guy is making so much progress. It's really encouraging. I notice that we're using the same kinds of things we did with my mother in law, going along as usual then going into that patient place automatically when there's a hitch but that takes a lot of experience. We asked about his hours and we always get him as our server when he's on so I think we'll just restrict our times to when he's there.