What to do

[sheltieluver]

The last month I've been very moody the smallest things set me off. I know its a combination of stress and depression and grief. The last year I've lost my grandmother who I was very close to, my half sister before thanksgiving she was 44, my uncle 53 who I was also close to and my dog trainer. Work has also been stressful because nobody does their job and I'm left to clean up the messes I also do petsitting on the side so I'm always on the run. I feel I get no help from my husband around the house. I work all week my regular job plus petsitting on the weekends I would like to just relax but then I have all the house work. He works but on his days off hes out hunting or he relaxes and watches tv I'll ask him to do something its always a fight because its always I will tomorrow and then tomorrow comes and goes. He always jumps when his parents need something and he will drive the hour to help them. They only call when they need something.

I've told him that it would relieve the pressure off of me. He always responds why do you care what others think of the house. I replyed with I don't, I don't like living in filth. He grew up with his mother never cleaning heck she doesn't clean now. Their home is disgusting.

My mom thinks I should take a leave at work for a little bit but I can't afford to do that so I was thinking of asking my boss if I could change my schedule and work 4 days a week so I would get an extra day off.

I know my mom is worried about me and I'm afraid for health reasons.

[Jollymolly]

I think if you are feeling this way it is cruicial that you get the break before it breaks you. You need some down time. I think working 4 days is a great ideqa as long as that extra day is for you and not for keeping up with everything else. would even consider taking off a day and going away. Do something that will relax you.


Iam sorry for all your loss this year.Please take good care of yourself.

[Gibbysmom]

Sorry you have had so much loss and stress this year. I think the 4 day a week schedule would really help. I have worked 4 days for many years. My day off is often very busy but getting appointments, errands, cleaning done then makes the weekend much more relaxing. Sorry your husband doesn't help much. I have dealt with that also to some extent. Very frustrating when I can't relax because I know the dog hair needs to be vacuumed but doesn't bother them a bit.

[POPTOP]

Time to have a heart-to-heart with your DH. You are carrying a lot of weight, no wonder you're stressed.

The four day work week could work if you are not working 12 hours on those four days. You'd be so pooped out, the free day you would totally need to crash and relax.

[CraftHer]

Something's got to give. You've got too much on your shoulders. I don't know what the answer is, but I'm sending you some peaceful mojo.

As I type this, Mocha put his chin on my arm and gave his sweetest look. I think he's sending mojo, too.

[Maxx&Emma]

I am so sorry for all the losses you have had this year. Your DH needs a swift kick in the butt! You need to do whatever it is that will take some of the burden from you. Sending you a ((((hug)))) and peaceful, comforting thoughts.

[sheltieluver]

Thanks everyone. Depression runs in my family and I refuse to let it take over my life. I get in ruts but I can normally push myself thru it. My sister has sever depression and she never leaves her house. I push myself to do things even tho some days I just don't feel like getting out of bed. I know for a fact the dogs help with this because they need their walks and play time so even if I wanted to stay in bed I can't because of them. I can't afford to cut my hours so I would be working the same amount of hours just 4 days instead of 3. so 10 hour days but its only 2 more hours a day then what I work now.

My husband and I talked and I told him that one weekend a month we will drive up to my moms cabin with the dogs its so peaceful there and I love beinig up there. its away from the hussle and bussel and I can truly relax. its only an hour from us and maybe even take a long weekend if he can get off of work.

[amyb]

Good for you!!

[Georgia]

So sorry for all your loss this year. That's very stressful. I have been very busy at work lately and it does cause a lot of stress. I was telling DH the other that something's gotta give because I can't handle getting home at 7pm for much longer. Maybe you can swing getting a cleaning service to help around the house. I have a cleaning lady come in every other week and she's a god send. At least that way I know my floors get scrubbed when they're here! I still have to vacuum up the dog hair (usually every other day) and I touch up the bathrooms with Clorox wipes almost daily, but they do the big stuff. I feel your pain concerning your DH. I know my hubby does stuff around the house but it always seems like a very unequal distribution of the work load. For example, Sundays are laundry day and I spend the day humping it up and down the steps while DH barely moves from the tv because he has the NFL Sunday Ticket and can watch every game in the NFL (which according to him is a beautiful thing). Grrr... So not fair!

[KenZ71]

A walk with the dogs always helps me. If really stressed a longer walk through the forest with a stop for ice cream all around helps too.

On some of those longer walks I'll look through my good day vs bad day pics.

Also thinking of how much better my life is with my dogs vs without helps put me back in a happy place.