UGH! In law drama... advice please

[doubledip1]

I love the "my wild beast ate my baby!" comment! Genius.

I definitely might dope myself up on Valium and just smile through it... ugh. Unfortunately in-laws are hosting Christmas Eve so can't come this year, but DH says as of next year everybody comes to us or they don't get to see us.

I'll keep y'all posted on the insulting things MIL says, I have a notebook of comments going ;-)

Or I'll come down with the flu... yes, that sounds like a good time...

[bett]

Bamps- you must be really nice.

i was thinking of telling you to bring your own water bottle filled with vinegar. I'm just in that kind of mood.

i have a really good friend who didnt marry until she was 39, a man we introduced her to, after his wife died at 41. need i say much more?. he had grownish kids (15, and 19) and people would have the BALLS, YES BALLS to ask her when she was going to have a baby. 1. she had no desire to have any. 2. he had his kids and had no desire for more.
HOW DO PEOPLE HAVE THE STUPIDITY TO ASK SUCH PERSONAL QUESTIONS????
ok, i focused on that part of your misery but they probably think because you are jewish you have no tree and are converting him to your heathen ways. i mean no insult to anyone here but living thru it, i get it , probably better than most.i mean, introducing me as "her jewish daughter in law?" . why didnt she say "this is my daughter in law with large breasts?"

[doubledip1]

Bamps- you must be really nice.

i was thinking of telling you to bring your own water bottle filled with vinegar. I'm just in that kind of mood.

i have a really good friend who didnt marry until she was 39, a man we introduced her to, after his wife died at 41. need i say much more?. he had grownish kids (15, and 19) and people would have the BALLS, YES BALLS to ask her when she was going to have a baby. 1. she had no desire to have any. 2. he had his kids and had no desire for more.
HOW DO PEOPLE HAVE THE STUPIDITY TO ASK SUCH PERSONAL QUESTIONS????
ok, i focused on that part of your misery but they probably think because you are jewish you have no tree and are converting him to your heathen ways. i mean no insult to anyone here but living thru it, i get it , probably better than most.i mean, introducing me as "her jewish daughter in law?" . why didnt she say "this is my daughter in law with large breasts?"

"The daughter in law without any breasts" is more like it, for my situation anyway ;-)

She definitely thinks I am converting him to my heathen ways, even though I'm the one who talked him into buying a tree in the first place. It's artificial, so I'm automatically extra awful.

I should bring a water bottle filled with vinegar. Ugh.

[smartrock]

I should bring a water bottle filled with vinegar. Ugh.

Every time she said something obnoxious, you would give her a squirt! Sounds like it could be fun!

I can sympathize with many of the facets of your predicament this year. I'm sorry for the hassle. It would be nice if your husband would tell his mom to shut her pie hole, wouldn't it? But, since it's the holidays, I guess that may have to wait for another time. Hopefully the sister-in-law's pup will be the true wild animal and Luna will come out looking like an angel. A Christmas Angel. No doubt they'll find an excuse for that pup's behavior and Luna will still get the short shrift.

Don't unpack, you might have to leave on Thursday afternoon. Sorry, folks, Luna has diarrhea and we wouldn't want her to mess up your lovely home!

[sparky]

I know it's way easier to say than to do but kill her with kindness. You don't have to say a word, just smile a little smile and hold your head high. It just eats them alive when they can't get a rise out of you. My grand pa used to bug the ship outta me coz I was not married and 40+ years old. He would say the most hurtful things. Made me mad as hell but I learned to just smile at him and go on. I guess he thought I should be like his other grandkids and be working on my 3rd marriage.
I prescribe a case of 24 hour flu for you and plenty of Luna time to recoup!

[Mr Kleb]

But here's the kicker. She called Luna wild. And asked DH why I and Luna couldn't stay home while just he visited for Christmas. DH is furious and doesn't want to go, but it's one of those "we have to" situations. Oh, and MIL asks if I'm pregnant EVERY time we visit or EVERY time he calls. I don't drink alcohol, so she can't tell. I'm also super slim, so if I was pregnant, she would know. I think she asks just to infuriate me. She hates me and doesn't want me to be pregnant, so I don't know why she's so obsessed about it.

Please send me warm thoughts to keep me sane during this visit... we're leaving Wednesday morning, staying overnight Wednesday and Thursday, leaving ASAP on Friday.

Or pray for a snowstorm so we can't go at all.

Why do you 'have' to?

I'm thinking of something I heard a British author say yesterday during the course of an interview about her career and her life. Now I don't believe she was talking about her family specifically, it was more of a general comment.

"I'll do anything for my family except visit them."

I'm very fortunate that I like visiting my family. We are beyond drama and able to enjoy, appreciate each other. There comes a time though when I'm ready to go home and they are undoubtedly ready for me to leave.

[doubledip1]

I know it's way easier to say than to do but kill her with kindness. You don't have to say a word, just smile a little smile and hold your head high. It just eats them alive when they can't get a rise out of you. My grand pa used to bug the ship outta me coz I was not married and 40+ years old. He would say the most hurtful things. Made me mad as hell but I learned to just smile at him and go on. I guess he thought I should be like his other grandkids and be working on my 3rd marriage.
I prescribe a case of 24 hour flu for you and plenty of Luna time to recoup!

I have been sweet as pie since the beginning and it doesn't work. :-(

[beth101509]

I have been sweet as pie since the beginning and it doesn't work. :-(

Then start to be rude as hell. Sorry but I am not the type of person that can just sit there and let someone talk down to me for no reason.

I used to work with the most hateful woman that thought she was always right and hated anyone that had a different opinion. I tell you what, after a few times of me having a difference of opinion and not being afraid to express that opinion, she began to leave me alone and let me do my job without anymore hateful interruptions. Sometimes you just have to stand your ground to get it across to people that you are not a pushover and won't let people treat you that way. Just my opinion. Doesn't work for everyone.

[bett]

i wish you could see thru the computer screen and i can teach you "the face".
let's see if i can describe it, remembering i worked in psych hospitals. flat, expressionless, dull eyes. like they are in visible. practice in the mirror.

i taught it to my nail technician and she has mastered it. she's living with her bf, mid 30's for her , 50 for him, and so now you can guess the questions she gets. she does the face, as we call it and it stops them dead in their tracks . it might take a while longer for your in laws, depending upon if they are even paying attention to your face.
get it?

and i think now i sound like a mean girl but I'm really not. and very nice and kind. but, i mean, when does one defend themselves against mean and insensitive comments?
now, i guess.

[barry581]

I've been really lucky regarding in-laws, and I'm sorry to see anyone have to deal with this crap. I have little to no tolerance for this kind of passive-aggressive behavior. I'd do one of two things, suck it up for my spouses sake, or I'd tell these people exactly how I feel, and if they don't like it, we can part company, letting their son visit as he wants, and support him in his decision. I'd never make him choose between me and them, I'd just take the higher road.

Good luck with your decision either way.