UGH! In law drama... advice please

[Maxx&Emma]

What kelaeyg said!! Life is too short and you and Luna should not have to suffer the consequences of a mean, resentful, evil person. If my family treated my DH in that manner we would not attend, ever. And as for squirting my dog, the person squiring would fund their head in the toilet, sorry! I just don't have time for that kind of nonsense.

[Polly Pipkin]

I'll keep y'all posted on the insulting things MIL says, I have a notebook of comments going ;-)

I wouldn't keep a notebook as it focuses on her negativity and gives her more power over you. I'd ignore as best I could, but I also wouldn't let anyone spray my dog with water - what's next?

Take her wind out of your sails and you decide what you and your DH want to do - that way you are both happy. I don't think you "have to"" visit them - use your upcoming move as an excuse; you're just ​far too busy with the tree!

[sparky]

I agree with Beth101509. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Then start to be rude as hell. Sorry but I am not the type of person that can just sit there and let someone talk down to me for no reason.

I used to work with the most hateful woman that thought she was always right and hated anyone that had a different opinion. I tell you what, after a few times of me having a difference of opinion and not being afraid to express that opinion, she began to leave me alone and let me do my job without anymore hateful interruptions. Sometimes you just have to stand your ground to get it across to people that you are not a pushover and won't let people treat you that way. Just my opinion. Doesn't work for everyone.

[Georgie]

Life is far too short to spend time with people that don't have your back.

Humour is a great weapon so when she asks about children say something that will embarrass her to ask again...I love some of the above responses. Or you could say that the marriage hasn't been consummated yet.

Honestly though, I just couldn't go and the squirt bottle would probably be my downfall in such a situation.


Stay home with Luna on your couch and watch Home Alone with some yummy food. Let your husband go and do his visiting duties.

[black_paws]

Wow, not envious of you at all.
I'm lucky that given my occupation (emergency services/law enforcement) I generally work holidays, so its a perfect excuse to get out of "functions".

I'm a firm believer in doing what makes YOU happy.
If you have "sucked it up" time and time again in the past, and if its the same BS every time, give it up.

Completely understand on the tree, I couldn't be bothered if I were you.
Our first night in our first house was Christmas Eve 2003. My DH surprised me by putting up a tree last minute (after agreeing no tree), but the bigger surprise that year was Christmas morning when he proposed.
Otherwise, No human kids here, just 3 fur-kids, and they are the only ones getting gifts this year. (and we did put the tree up just for that, cuz we're nuts)

[bestadmom]

Either you are staying home with strange stomach virus or are going on a Birthright trip to Israel.

Play the game and have fun being a bitch. And when you are there, if you go, let everything she says and does (except squirting Luna) roll off your back because she's manipulative and bad at it. You're too good for her stupidity.

It's supposed to rain down here (CT) for the next 3 days. Aren't you going to be snowed in? Can't put the uterus, that will one day carry her grandchild, in harm's way.

[Meeps83]

My inlaws are the same as yours. During our nearly 12 years of time together I have tone thru the ringer with them. They took us out to eat at a restaurant that their favorite ex-girlfriend of DH's worked at, and served us, and later made us pay. They told Andy not to marry me because I was too controlling. They claimed we never invited them to the wedding. We made a mistake buying a house and should've just rented. Our house is a pile of garbage and we got screwed. Those counters are not granite. You bought a Jeep? Why would you do that when you could've bought a Toyota. A Ford is a bad decision. You can't afford a new car. You should just buy a used one...etc. Eventually we both got sick of how they treated us and we stopped going to their house or talking to them. It escalated to DH's dad coming over and standing in our driveway yelling at him. It ended with FIL telling DH that he needed to divorce me because I was keeping him from his family. DH told FIL to leave and not come back and we really haven't talked to or seen them since. I feel a little bad because I'm so close to my family, but spending time with them makes me really unhappy and uncomfortable. For sanity, it's not bad to just come up with a reason not to go...

[OHfemail]

Well, we're not Jewish or Catholic and we didn't put a tree up this year either. Our excuse is that we both work for the USPS and it just seemed like too much to do. It all boils down to whatever works for you, and you owe no one an explanation for any of it. Knowing me, I'd go armed with snarky comments right back at her...and the next time she sprayed Luna, I'd explain that that's exactly why you aren't pregnant - you'd hate to see her correct a grandchild with a spray to the face! Good luck...

[kelsyg]

My inlaws are the same as yours. During our nearly 12 years of time together I have tone thru the ringer with them. They took us out to eat at a restaurant that their favorite ex-girlfriend of DH's worked at, and served us, and later made us pay. They told Andy not to marry me because I was too controlling. They claimed we never invited them to the wedding. We made a mistake buying a house and should've just rented. Our house is a pile of garbage and we got screwed. Those counters are not granite. You bought a Jeep? Why would you do that when you could've bought a Toyota. A Ford is a bad decision. You can't afford a new car. You should just buy a used one...etc. Eventually we both got sick of how they treated us and we stopped going to their house or talking to them. It escalated to DH's dad coming over and standing in our driveway yelling at him. It ended with FIL telling DH that he needed to divorce me because I was keeping him from his family. DH told FIL to leave and not come back and we really haven't talked to or seen them since. I feel a little bad because I'm so close to my family, but spending time with them makes me really unhappy and uncomfortable. For sanity, it's not bad to just come up with a reason not to go...

Wow! They really suck the joy out life, don't they? Life is too short to let them.

[Maggie's Mom]

Well, we're not Jewish or Catholic and we didn't put a tree up this year either. Our excuse is that we both work for the USPS and it just seemed like too much to do. It all boils down to whatever works for you, and you owe no one an explanation for any of it. Knowing me, I'd go armed with snarky comments right back at her...and the next time she sprayed Luna, I'd explain that that's exactly why you aren't pregnant - you'd hate to see her correct a grandchild with a spray to the face! Good luck...

Hahahaha! I would go with this as a response to the grandchild question! Family/ in-laws can really do an amazing job of sucking the joy out of the holidays. As far as the expressing of unsolicited opinions; my husband and I have found that telling our parents as little detail as possible is the only way to go, and our automated response to all random parental criticism of choices (don't like the car we just bought, why didn't I get a rescue dog, why do I let my daughter dress herself a certain way (she is three!)) is, "we are really happy with our choices," insert fake smile here. I will keep my figures crossed for a blizzard for you, maybe I will get lucky and it will make its way into PA too.