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    1. #1
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      Daisy and Miia's Avatar
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      Rage like I've never seen before.

      My autistic granson went into a rage this afternoon. Barney and I were supposed to watch him for a couple hours tonight. Jared always loves coming to our house and even when his anxiety level is high, he always calms right down when he walks through the front door. He's 15 years old now and over the last couple of years he's experienced a level of rage off and on. It usually follows a period of higher anxiety, but today my daughter said that he was in a good mood all day. As they were coming through the front door he suddenly turned, looked really angry, screamed and pushed his mother back out the door. Then he put his hands around her neck. Barney was able to get Jared off of her and bring him back in the house and to the back room, where Jared eventually calmed down. My daughter has red scratches and fingerprints on both sides of her neck, but she's ok. I have never seen him get to that level of "anger" before, although my daughter told me that it has happened a few times at home. It's hard to say what is bringing it on, maybe just hormones(?), we can't think of anything that has changed in his life or environment. I'm used to a happy boy who loves being kissed and hugged so it was a shock to see him act like that. Would sure appreciate prayers for my grandson and daughter and SIL.

    2. #2
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      janedoe's Avatar
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      All good thoughts. As I was reading I was thinking hormones as well. What does his doctor say?

    3. #3
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      I am so sorry your family is going through these unusual rages. It is heartbreaking, whether experiencing or knowing people you love are struggling. Hopefully Jareds physician will have solutions and or options for the family. Young males, early teens, without behavioral/developmental disabilities, are a holy nightmare at times so it stands to reason that those with disabilities would act out as well. One of our grandsons has several disabilities but we have been very fortunate that his behaviors have stabilized as he has gotten older. Your family will be in my prayers and thoughts.

    4. #4
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      Absolutely its hormones. I would hope that they have a good physician that is working with his condition AND that they have explained that this can happen. You can certainly expect it to get worse as he gets bigger and much much stronger.

      Is he on meds?

    5. #5
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      Puberty is a huge game changer in autism, and will generally intensify or bring on new behaviors. I support families who have kids on the spectrum, either a new diagnosis or a family who is homeschooling and I ALWAYS recommend a hearty ABA program with a really good behaviorist. Not just school services, that's only to help at school...but someone who will tackle all of the issues that happen outside of those 6 hours away from home.

      It's so much easier to deal with aggression in a kid who is 50 pounds as opposed to 150! Hunter had SEVERE aggression and it was always targeted and with intent to injure (mostly me), so we focused intensely for almost 2 years on getting rid of the aggression, and giving him appropriate ways of dealing with rage. We finished services in October, and at most I may see the occasional door slam but that's happened maybe 2-3 times since October. I'm preparing for puberty, and bracing for it by making sure all of his other services are just as intense and as appropriate as his in home program so he has all the skills necessary BEFORE the storm hits.

      I've said it before, you guys really really need an in home behaviorist to work with him for a few hours a day, and it sounds like you need someone who can deal with aggression. The first time it happens, is the warning that it will happen again...kind of like an aggressive animal (I hate to compare, but behavior is behavior no matter the species). We saw early warning signs with Hunter, and then it totally exploded when he was 6-7. By the time we could actually find someone to help us I had been turned down by 24 different ABA agencies because of the level of aggression, and the one person who finally agreed didn't tell his agency how bad it was...thank god he was highly qualified and smarter than Hunter. At that point, I had been stabbed multiple times, he had choked his brother twice, and had broken my nose by kicking me in the face. His rage at the height would last 5-6 hours at a time and for most of that he had to be restrained by 2-4 people. It only gets worse if you sit on it, and only gets better when you work to change it. I don't regret for a minute all of the work it took to untangle the aggression, and I finally have a really happy, peaceful kid who effectively deals with anger by taking a break. He gets upset, and generally will calmly walk to his room to hang out by himself and read without being told to do so, which is totally appropriate and PRAISED.

    6. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Christen99 For This Useful Post:

      bett (06-14-2014), Daisy and Miia (06-14-2014), dogmom (06-14-2014), doubledip1 (06-16-2014), kimbersmom (06-14-2014), POPTOP (06-14-2014), Sue (06-14-2014)

    7. #6
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      Quote Originally Posted by Christen99 View Post
      Puberty is a huge game changer in autism, and will generally intensify or bring on new behaviors. I support families who have kids on the spectrum, either a new diagnosis or a family who is homeschooling and I ALWAYS recommend a hearty ABA program with a really good behaviorist. Not just school services, that's only to help at school...but someone who will tackle all of the issues that happen outside of those 6 hours away from home.

      It's so much easier to deal with aggression in a kid who is 50 pounds as opposed to 150! Hunter had SEVERE aggression and it was always targeted and with intent to injure (mostly me), so we focused intensely for almost 2 years on getting rid of the aggression, and giving him appropriate ways of dealing with rage. We finished services in October, and at most I may see the occasional door slam but that's happened maybe 2-3 times since October. I'm preparing for puberty, and bracing for it by making sure all of his other services are just as intense and as appropriate as his in home program so he has all the skills necessary BEFORE the storm hits.

      I've said it before, you guys really really need an in home behaviorist to work with him for a few hours a day, and it sounds like you need someone who can deal with aggression. The first time it happens, is the warning that it will happen again...kind of like an aggressive animal (I hate to compare, but behavior is behavior no matter the species). We saw early warning signs with Hunter, and then it totally exploded when he was 6-7. By the time we could actually find someone to help us I had been turned down by 24 different ABA agencies because of the level of aggression, and the one person who finally agreed didn't tell his agency how bad it was...thank god he was highly qualified and smarter than Hunter. At that point, I had been stabbed multiple times, he had choked his brother twice, and had broken my nose by kicking me in the face. His rage at the height would last 5-6 hours at a time and for most of that he had to be restrained by 2-4 people. It only gets worse if you sit on it, and only gets better when you work to change it. I don't regret for a minute all of the work it took to untangle the aggression, and I finally have a really happy, peaceful kid who effectively deals with anger by taking a break. He gets upset, and generally will calmly walk to his room to hang out by himself and read without being told to do so, which is totally appropriate and PRAISED.
      Thanks. I was doing some research last night on it. They are pretty plugged in to the autism community in our area and have had a behaviorist at the house, but no intense or long term program. Jared has always been more of a happy or even-tempered child and pretty easy to direct his attention elsewhere when upset about something. This rage is so unusual for him. Since I watch him a lot, by myself, I want to know what I can do. I'll talk to my daughter about working with the behavorist again, it didn't seem necessary before, but it does now.

    8. #7
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      smartrock's Avatar
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      I'm sorry this is starting to happen, both for Jared and your family. Although the sweet boy hasn't shown this toward you and Barney before, it doesn't guarantee it won't. The thought of you being on the receiving end is heartbreaking and may make watching him at your home by yourself unsafe. I'm sure he doesn't truly want to hurt anyone but it sounds like he will need help learning to deal with these feelings that he cannot express otherwise. I hope you all can find your way through this.

    9. #8
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      Think you are smart to talk to your daughter and arrange for help. Hormones can really be stressful for some children and just a helping hand over this period might only be needed. You sweet grandson is there, just dealing with hormones and growing up, and just doesn't know how to express or explain to his loved ones.

      My thoughts are with all of you. Hoping this is just a growing hiccup that all children, IMHO, go through.

      KAZ

    10. #9
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      Sounds like you are doing the right thing by getting him and the family the help needed. Like anything left untreated it may get worst and not better.

    11. #10
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      So upsetting for your family. Bre is going through puberty and has times when the rage comes out of nowhere. She did go though a stage at about age 8-10 also; put a hole in the bedroom door with her foot. She basically is a very sweet girl, eager to get involved with whatever is going on. The blow ups seem to come out of nowhere.

      Keeping Jared, your daughter, you and Barney in my prayers.

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