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  1. #1
    Real Retriever Moby and Barley's Mom's Avatar
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    Help! My dog is OVERLY attached!!

    Oh my god. I was on this forum quite a lot when Barley was a puppy and when I had to put my old lab down. Barley is now over 3 - I am through my divorce and have been seeing someone seriously for over a year. Barley has been a challenge - pulling on the lead, peeing indoors if I was gone too long, chewing my rug, etc. and I have worked hard with him but today - I am at a loss. Barley has been well socialized since he was a puppy - dog park 4 or 5 times a week - doggy day care - multiple walks a day - plenty of exercise. I take him to the house of a dog sitter when I am out of town. I have taken the suggestions of the forum and the last year has been mostly o.k. with Barley.

    He was initially very protective of me - and got between my boyfriend and me whenever we might embrace - but I have since worked on curbing that behavior. He has become accustomed to him - and has been to his house and has stayed there while we have been out etc. While Barley is VERY excited (overly so) to be in any new environment - my bf's place is no longer totally new - nor is the bf. Barley can be exhausting at times - and my bf offered to watch him while I spent time at a friend's home near his house. I assumed he would be fine and allow my bf to work as he does for me at home. Not the case. The MOMENT I left his house - Barley went ballistic. He was barking hysterically, body checking the bf, running around and around the house. I had to come get him 5 minutes after I left. He is 3 years old! My other dog was never like this.

    Please - I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions. I know that Barley and I are connected - he was all I had during a very painful time in my life - but this is beyond the pale. I feel as though I have failed somehow - and I don't know what to do. I feel as though this dog runs my life sometimes - and it is NOT o.k. for either of us!
    Forever in my heart - Sweet gentle Moby - lover of belly rubs, bacon, and Barbara 9-10-2001 to 11-2-2015

  2. #2
    Senior Dog
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    That really seems extreme, even by lab standards. Have you talked to a trainer or behaviorist?
    Stormageddon, Princess of Darkness, aka "Stormy"
    Birthday 9-13-18, Gotcha Day 11-11-18
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    Moby and Barley's Mom (08-28-2017)

  4. #3
    Senior Dog Berna's Avatar
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    Sounds like separation anxiety, I'd talk with a trainer.
    Cookie Black Snowflake
    July 12th, 2006. - May 25th, 2023.

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    Moby and Barley's Mom (08-28-2017), SunDance (08-28-2017)

  6. #4
    Senior Dog Labradorks's Avatar
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    I don't think he is overly attached. Some dogs do not deal well with change. Leaving him alone in a home that is not his with a guy who isn't his person may be have been too much too soon. Sounds like he panicked. I know my Linus, who is four and very well trained, would have had a touch of anxiety if I did something like this whereas Sam may not have noticed that I left. Like people, dogs are highly individual despite background and training. They are wired a certain way, too. Is he crate trained? If he is you might try it again, just for a few minutes and give him a frozen Kong or something similar. Build up the time gradually. Sometimes when a dog is getting worked up, the running, barking, etc. just feeds the anxiety so a crate can be calming. It is worth a discussion with your trainer, but I don't think you should panic.

  7. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Labradorks For This Useful Post:

    Annette47 (08-28-2017), Charlotte K. (08-30-2017), Moby and Barley's Mom (08-28-2017), SunDance (08-28-2017), Tanya (08-28-2017)

  8. #5
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    I agree with Labradorks and Elena.

    Good to see you again, by the way. Good luck getting Barley settled.

    If you want to try something for anxiety, I'd suggest PetCalm by PetAlive. The granular version. It's worked wonders for my super anxious Sunnie.

    PetCalm? - Homeopathic Medicine for Nervous Pets

  9. #6
    Senior Dog SamsonsMom's Avatar
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    Barley sounds like he loves you a bunch! I have no really good proven advice to offer since I've not experienced that with either of mine. Has the BF and Barley spent any time alone at your place? I'd give that a go if not. Maybe go out and drive around the block a few times. Try it out at short intervals and then do longer periods of time. Sounds like Barley needs to bond with the BF and should do so on Barley's turf. While you are at work, can the BF come in and visit Barley to let him out and just visit for a short period? That may help build the bond. Good luck!

  10. #7
    Real Retriever Moby and Barley's Mom's Avatar
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    Hi!
    I have not talked with a trainer - because I never expected something like this to happen. He can't wait to leave me when I bring him to the day care - and is super excited (again overly so) to go to the home of the dog sitter. Of course - some of that excitement may be some anxiety - but she sends me daily photos of him on walks and just hanging out on his bed in her living room - so I did not expect this sort of thing. Thank you for your reply!
    Forever in my heart - Sweet gentle Moby - lover of belly rubs, bacon, and Barbara 9-10-2001 to 11-2-2015

  11. #8
    Real Retriever Moby and Barley's Mom's Avatar
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    Yes - I started googling this last night - and it does sound like that. Barley and I have had really had each other (and Moby for the first year and 1/2) but I guess I did not realize how attached he was... Thank you!
    Forever in my heart - Sweet gentle Moby - lover of belly rubs, bacon, and Barbara 9-10-2001 to 11-2-2015

  12. #9
    Real Retriever Moby and Barley's Mom's Avatar
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    Thank you! I hope he is not overly attached as you suggest. That is not my goal at all! I woke up this morning wondering if I just give him too much love!

    He is very accustomed to routine - my fault as I am as well. I can't say he is fully crate trained - although I used to have him sleep in one at night. He has not been in a crate for over a year. He has walked alone with the BF - and spent time with him at my house a lot. I think he may have been better had the BF taken him on a walk for a bit (even though I had taken him to the dog park earlier and played ball with him in the hopes that he would be nice a tired by the time he got there.) but he had multiple projects he needed to complete. I should have given him a big bone for him to chew on - it would have helped things.

    When I went to get the dog - he came rushing at me as though I had not seen him for years - jumped on me, scratching my chest etc. Once I got him to my friend's house - we sat outside by his pool - and Barley was totally chill. I was exhausted from it by the end of the day.
    Forever in my heart - Sweet gentle Moby - lover of belly rubs, bacon, and Barbara 9-10-2001 to 11-2-2015

  13. #10
    Real Retriever Moby and Barley's Mom's Avatar
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    Thank you! We will keep trying. He loves the BF - gets excited whenever he comes over - brings him a toy, etc. I'm still in shock that it happened!
    Forever in my heart - Sweet gentle Moby - lover of belly rubs, bacon, and Barbara 9-10-2001 to 11-2-2015

 



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