Question about playing. When should I intervene, when should I just let them be?

[SandpaperTongue]

Jojo is a super sweet dog and very submissive. She's 10 months now and she has always adored other dogs but it seems to me she rarely finds a dog that clicks with her. At puppy kindergarten, the other puppies were so much more aggressive and would chase and bite her until she would start hiding under chairs and running away from the puppies. I knew our neighborhood was full of dogs, but it turns out a lot of these dogs aren't dog-friendly and their walkers turn around and walk away as soon as they spot me. Other dogs are very old (10+) and have little patience for playing with her and her puppy energy. She has met a few dogs that played well with her and she has absolutely loved it, but unfortunately it doesn't happen very often.

All this to say, I often wonder if I have failed Jojo in the dog-socialization aspect. Jojo is my first dog and I just don't have a lot of friends with dogs. That said, Jojo is sweet, never aggressive, and always is happy to see another dog.

So anyway, friends were puppy sitting for their neighbors and we went over for a playdate. I figured since Jojo is so non-aggressive, she'd be good for a puppy. Well, after a bit, that puppy would not stop biting Jojo. The puppy (4 months old) constantly bit at her ears and her jowls. Jojo never gave the puppy any correction and often would lay on her back, "inviting" the puppy to jump on her and bite her more. After a while, it seemed like Jojo was trying to get away from the puppy but then would go back and play some more. But at no point did Jojo ever whine or vocalize any kind of distress, and even when the puppy was biting her, Jojo was still wagging her tail. After a while, my friend and I would push the puppy off Jojo when the puppy was biting. My question is: do I intervene in a situation like that? How can I tell if Jojo is unhappy? And is Jojo lacking in some dog communication skills?

[Labradorks]

Some dogs are soft and don't correct. It's not uncommon at all. Your dog is also very young, a puppy herself. Intervening is fine, good even. Not only because Jojo won't defend herself or move away if she is miserable, but because the puppy needs to learn also. I typically would take a puppy away before he got out of hand, let him calm down, then put them back together. Try to avoid the over-threshold craziness. It's fine to intervene when you feel you should either because the other dog is being too much or your dog doesn't seem comfortable with the situation.

[Tanya]

agree, soft dogs do not correct and as you have noticed, tend to get picked on. I see some of these dogs come into dog parks and it's awful. they are completely innocent but ALL the other dogs in the park (otherwise good dogs) just go overboard. you see the atmosphere change. It must be crazy frustrating for the soft dog's owner.

I would intervene. If you know your dog is solid and will correct (appropriate) sure let it go. But you know that won't happen so absolutely step in and redirect he puppy (or the owner/dog sitter should). It's not that the puppy is bad or aggressive, just inappropriate and needs to be redirected.

And that goes for any situation. if you dog isn't defending themselves then yeah, I step in. Some dog's don't need me to do this and that's great. But i'm there when needed for those that need it. IF the play isn't showing back and forth (taking turns being "on top" even if it's not 50-50 there should be some exchange) then I step in to give the dogs a break (and then see if the one always on the "bottom" wants to play by releasing them first).

ON leash greetings are hard. I avoided them with my other dog because she could set other dogs off even when she was being good (and other times she'd be cranky and i didn't want to encourage a meeting where she may end up growling). My lab is a senior and 100% friendly (and not many dogs are!) but i sometimes avoid greetings because so many other dogs grown and snap at HIM. So i often prefer to just avoid the possibility either way.

As for what to do, try to find compatible dogs and do lots of play dates. You can see if any training schools have supervised play dates you can take part in and if any dog seems to be a good fit, ask the owners if they'd mind a play date no and then. Take classes and get out and about but be her spokeperson if she gets picked on.

ETA: one common thing they recommend is to separate the dogs and let the "picked on" dog loose first. if they go right back to play and engage it means they are probably ok. If they go sniff elsewhere it means they need a longer break (or potentially end of play session). but some soft dogs will go back anyway even if they keep getting picked on :P But this is good to practice with any play session as well as just regulary breaks to calm everyone down. Breaks can be rewarding (lots of praise, treats) and you can also reward by sending back to play (real life reward).

[Bob Pr.]

You might look around your neighborhood for homes with fenced yards and dogs and see if any of them (& their owners) are friendly and willing to have hour playdates.

Bess, my first Lab (1967-81), we got at 5 weeks old (much too young) and she grew up without playing with other dogs. As a consequence, IMO she never knew she was a dog and never wanted anything to do with them.

So when I got Puff (2001-15) at 9 weeks age, I resolved to not let that happen again, so I found 4 or 5 different homes on my block that met my criteria (above) and that resolved the potential problem. I did trial runs with each possible playmate and only used those that were comfortably friendly.

You might try something like that in your area. Good luck.

[silverfz]

She is still young and we once started a training and socializing of a 4 yr old dog. Even though it took us a year he is 95 % better. So with Gigi we went the extra mile. She is in training and also goes to puppy social at petco. The trainer runs 2 classes one for small and one for bigger puppies. But she will move shy puppies to smaller class and sometimes move smaller puppies to bigger if they are over rough. Gigi used to hide behind the chair but is a total brat .
Gigi often goes to dog parks ,last week 2 Wei miner males were very rough and I had to saperate her to another section.we will not go to that park till next year. I take her to one which has big and small dog sections. I kind of break the 35 lb weight limit and put her in the small dog side.
Its hard she plays with some older dogs but we cannot wait to spay her so she can start doggy daycare.