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  1. #11
    Senior Dog Tanya's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snowshoe View Post
    Don't let your son do this. HE could hurt the dogs. Then he could get hurt. Don't let your child do now what could endanger him and the dog later when he is bigger. I am going to go ahead and guess Becker is awesone with adults because they don't threaten him in the same way your child does. Radley might be seeming to put up with this now but, watch the video, see any similarities?

    Stop The 77

    I agree with Tanya, it sounds like you are beyond wanting to bring in professional help but you intend to keep Radley and I'm reading some things that concern me for the safety of both remaining dog and child down the road.

    For Radley and your son's sake the following link is one I hope you will check out. Doggone Safe is dedicated to safe dog/child interactions and has a world wide following.

    Doggone Safe - Home
    Great links.
    And I COMPLETELY agree. Hopefully you didn't blame the dog from shaking your son off. But either way, please never allow your son to crawl and pull on the dog no matter how tolerant the dog is. it's completely unfair to the dog. If your son was doing this regularly I can sorta see why the dog may be nervous around him.

    note: the licking could possibly have been an appeasement signal asking your son for space. hard to say without seeing but appeasement is one common reason for licking.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tanya View Post
    do contact the breeder. any decent breeder will take their dog back and suitable screen homes before placing them.

    Are the boys used to be separated? Have they gone on separate walks or separate outings? How are they when they are not together? If not I fear you may end up with some major issues. If they have, awesome.

    rescue if you find one that takes owner surrenders is a great option. it is VERY hard to successfully place a dog. Many dogs rehomed (to well meaning people) end up being bounced around a few times. Everyone means well and may be great people but often bite off more than they can chew. Rescues have experience and a system to help reduce that (though, do screen the rescue, they are NOT all equal, some are good, some are not).

    If you do place him yourself make sure to ask lots of questions about their routine and what would cause them to rehome him. Make sure they have adaquate daily exercise plans and will work on training. meet EVERYONE that lives in the household and ensure everyone is on board. "good people" doesn't always mean "right home for the dog".

    it's clear you are past wanting to seek out professional help (a trainer, proofing, management).
    The more I read the posts here, the more I realize that I need to contact Lab Rescue for Becker. I still can't bring myself to do this, but my wife has gotten very frustrated when I am away on business and she has to deal with another Becker episode. These things never happen with Radley.

    As to separation, yes, they have been separated for long periods of time. They're fine when they're not together.

    Yeah, I want to re-home myself, as Becker is such a good dog, but I don't have the time. Thank you for all of the responses strongly recommending that I use Lab Rescue. As well, our vet is keeping eyes and ears out for a good home for Becker. We just saw her for Halloween and discussed Becker at length at the block party.

    I know good people don't mean a good home. While I love my parents, they are not good with their labs, in my opinion. Their labs don't get played with or loved on as much as they should, and have some nasty predilections (eating poop). They also act the fool with new people, except for me and their house sitter, whom both dogs love. I thought about re-homing Becker there, but they are ~2K miles away, and I don't want Becker going into that situation.

    This is still not a done deal with Becker. I know this is a very tough thing to do, and to do to a dog that has been a part of our family for 3 years. I should have done this much sooner, but I hoped and prayed that Becker would outgrow these behaviors. He has not, but he has been 'incident-free' for a while, so we'll see.

    Quote Originally Posted by Snowshoe View Post
    Don't let your son do this. HE could hurt the dogs. Then he could get hurt. Don't let your child do now what could endanger him and the dog later when he is bigger. I am going to go ahead and guess Becker is awesone with adults because they don't threaten him in the same way your child does. Radley might be seeming to put up with this now but, watch the video, see any similarities?

    Stop The 77

    I agree with Tanya, it sounds like you are beyond wanting to bring in professional help but you intend to keep Radley and I'm reading some things that concern me for the safety of both remaining dog and child down the road.

    For Radley and your son's sake the following link is one I hope you will check out. Doggone Safe is dedicated to safe dog/child interactions and has a world wide following.

    Doggone Safe - Home
    Again, I've raised 8 labs, and am fully aware of what to do and not to do. My son does not pull or poke hard. When he starts to, I correct that immediately, as I don't want Radley to get hurt. Radley and I have a bond that I have never experienced with a dog before. Radley has always been this way with me, ever since the first day we picked him out at the breeder. So no, I never ever want Radley, or Becker, to get hurt. That is why I have taken them to a couple of different doggy day cares (for when we travel), as I have not been pleased with how I see Radley & Becker act when I have picked them up from some: I knew they weren't well cared-for.

    I understand that you all are looking from the perspective of the dog, but there are two sides to consider, and our son absolutely comes first. If you have children, you know how important they are. Some posters are coming across as re-homing my son versus the dog. Please temper your anger towards me and think of my child: what would you do if you feared for your child?. I don't fear for my son's safety with Becker. That's not it. It's that my son is very frail and fearful of large creatures right now (typical, and Becker is 10x more hyper than Radley; for reference, he is terrified of our Roomba). Radley just fits the home better. Were our son larger, this would not be an issue.

    Thank you all for your posts and concerns. I am not just reacting: I am listening. I am taking in all insights and suggestions when presented appropriately. Think of how you would say this to me in person, and please post that way. I would absolutely give you the same courtesy. If you were facing a heart-wrenching decision that you have put off for 2 years, I would never respond with 'How dare you?!' Instead, I would listen and empathize, and then respond.

    Many thanks again, in all sincerity.

  3. #13
    Senior Dog arentspowell's Avatar
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    Becker's issues seem to be normal issues of an untrained lab. He's no longer a small cute puppy anymore and he's become too much for your wife to handle on her own with another dog and toddler in the house, which is understandable. Dogs are a lot of work and an untrained dog even more so.

    You keep saying you have experience with labs but not all labs are created equal and some require the extra effort to be good family companions. Becker seems to fall into that category.

    It's not too late to put the effort in and train him. I get that it's a "tough" decision but it doesn't have to be. Rehoming is the easy way out, in my opinion.

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  5. #14
    Senior Dog Labradorks's Avatar
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    What you wrote in your first post is a complete 180 from your second post. That said, I stand by my original post.

    I would highly recommend getting the dog out of your house before he does bite your child as you allow the child to do things to the dog that makes the dog uncomfortable.

    Good luck.

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Labradorks For This Useful Post:

    Abulafia (11-04-2015), Maxx&Emma (11-06-2015), Tanya (11-04-2015)

  7. #15
    Senior Dog Abulafia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChocLab5 View Post
    This is exactly the type of judgment I hoped to avoid. [...] But herein lies the rub of the internet: you get to say in a post what you would not dare to say to my face.
    No. I'd certainly have said that to your face. Absolutely.

    You are beyond rude. And don't say that you won't judge, because that's all your post was: judgment. I am sorry, but to take a shot at my son? What is wrong with you?
    I have a young child, and a labrador. I have had to train my son, as much as my Lab. I have friends with even younger children (and infants) who come over regularly. So I also help teach these children and parents how to be around a Lab. So I guess that's what's "wrong" with me.

    Why do you automatically jump to castigation instead of comfort?
    You asked for opinions, not comfort.

    You obviously don't have children.
    Wrong, sorry. I have a young child. And my house is frequently filled with young children. Who are taught how to be around a dog.

    And I, my dear, feel sorry for you, that you cannot relate.
    Don't! My son is awesome.

    Since you might not understand how powerful that is, imagine that force being laid upon a 2 year old child. If you don't understand a 2 year old anatomy, they are beyond frail.
    As before, I have a young child. Stop patronizing me.

    The slightest incident can send the child to the hospital (been there, done that, it is heart-wrenching).
    Well... we may agree to disagree on this matter. But I have a pretty robust son. I admit that I haven't taken him to the ER for a tail whack.

    And, as an aside: you really shouldn't come here asking for honest opinions and then go crazy when someone gives you one.

    Best of luck to your dog.

  8. #16
    Senior Dog windycanyon's Avatar
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    I am a volunteer for the LRC, Inc (Labrador Parent Club) Rescue task force. The very first contact we recommend is your pup's breeder. Any responsible breeder would want to know of your situation and will want to keep your pup out of the shelter/ rescue system if at all possible.

    If that attempt fails, the LRC does not handle adoptions directly, but we do maintain a national directory to our local "vetted" rescue groups. Click on this link to access those: Search Rescue - The Labrador Retriever Club, Inc.


    Best of luck. Anne (Pacific timezone rep)
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  9. #17
    Senior Dog Maxx&Emma's Avatar
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    Have you tried an in home trainer or behaviorist?

    It breaks my heart when people come here looking to re-home their Lab. I understand your reaction to some of the responses but something I don't think you understand is that many members here are very involved in rescue and hear these kind of stories over and over again. When you put your heart and soul in to trying to save as many as you can and have your heart broken over and over again because so many can not be saved, it becomes difficult not to be defensive. Unfortunately comfort and compassion are going to be in short supply, this is a group of Lab lovers, most of us also have children. I can not begin to imagine having to re-home one of my dogs. Every dog that has come in to my life I have promised to love and protect until the awful day comes they cross the Rainbow Bridge. I do hope you are able to reach your breeder and that he is responsible/reputable, great breeders would never hesitate to take one of their dogs back. I would think the contract you signed with your breeder would be pretty specific about this.

    There are so many other things I would like to say but sometimes it is best to just be quiet. I pray your dog ends up in a great home with people that love and take great care of him.
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  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx&Emma View Post
    It breaks my heart when people come here looking to re-home their Lab. I understand your reaction to some of the responses but something I don't think you understand is that many members here are very involved in rescue and hear these kind of stories over and over again. When you put your heart and soul in to trying to save as many as you can and have your heart broken over and over again because so many can not be saved, it becomes difficult not to be defensive. Unfortunately comfort and compassion are going to be in short supply, this is a group of Lab lovers, most of us also have children. I can not begin to imagine having to re-home one of my dogs. Every dog that has come in to my life I have promised to love and protect until the awful day comes they cross the Rainbow Bridge. I do hope you are able to reach your breeder and that he is responsible/reputable, great breeders would never hesitate to take one of their dogs back. I would think the contract you signed with your breeder would be pretty specific about this.

    There are so many other things I would like to say but sometimes it is best to just be quiet. I pray your dog ends up in a great home with people that love and take great care of him.
    I understand. . .I do. It might seem like the easy way out to re-home, and that I have given up. But if anybody thinks that this has been easy, you need to walk a mile in my shoes. Remember that I have put off doing this because Becker is my dog, and every time I envision Becker leaving, I envision that look where he turns around with complete betrayal in his eyes as if to say 'Why are you doing this?! Please don't!! I'm sorry, Daddy!' THAT, and a million other reasons, are why I have not moved ahead with this. Becker has been our dog since day one. Just the other day I celebrated their 3 year birthday with burgers & fries from a great local burger joint, and you would have thought I just wrote them a check for a million dollars. They were beyond ecstatic. They have their moments. Radley has not been a complete angel, either. Labs are not angels, I know. But in my humble opinion, they are the best, most loving, and most empathetic breed on this earth. I have not moved forward with this because of my fear of Becker getting mistreated in some fashion, the subsequent depression that both dogs would feel from the separation both from each other and especially for Becker due to that being compounded with separation from our house, etc. Becker is an amazing dog, and as with Radley, I have incredible memories with him. Everybody assumes that I am going to rehome him. Again, I have not done this for a long time because of how much I love Becker and don't want him to go. The more I think about this, the more that I'm realizing that we only have issues when I leave town, aka he's got separation anxiety and sadness when I leave. I'm going to have to work with my wife, not Becker, on that front. Becker loves the games that I play with him every time we go out, and I know that de doesn't get that stimulation when I'm gone.

    Sorry for rambling, but it's never easy when you're going through a difficult decision and people are very opinionated. But I asked for the opinions, so ya get what ya ask for.

    What did you mean by 'so many other things that I would like to say'? That sounds a bit ominous.

  11. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChocLab5 View Post
    I understand. . .I do. It might seem like the easy way out to re-home, and that I have given up. But if anybody thinks that this has been easy, you need to walk a mile in my shoes. Remember that I have put off doing this because Becker is my dog, and every time I envision Becker leaving, I envision that look where he turns around with complete betrayal in his eyes as if to say 'Why are you doing this?! Please don't!! I'm sorry, Daddy!' THAT, and a million other reasons, are why I have not moved ahead with this. Becker has been our dog since day one. Just the other day I celebrated their 3 year birthday with burgers & fries from a great local burger joint, and you would have thought I just wrote them a check for a million dollars. They were beyond ecstatic. They have their moments. Radley has not been a complete angel, either. Labs are not angels, I know. But in my humble opinion, they are the best, most loving, and most empathetic breed on this earth. I have not moved forward with this because of my fear of Becker getting mistreated in some fashion, the subsequent depression that both dogs would feel from the separation both from each other and especially for Becker due to that being compounded with separation from our house, etc. Becker is an amazing dog, and as with Radley, I have incredible memories with him. Everybody assumes that I am going to rehome him. Again, I have not done this for a long time because of how much I love Becker and don't want him to go. The more I think about this, the more that I'm realizing that we only have issues when I leave town, aka he's got separation anxiety and sadness when I leave. I'm going to have to work with my wife, not Becker, on that front. Becker loves the games that I play with him every time we go out, and I know that de doesn't get that stimulation when I'm gone.

    Sorry for rambling, but it's never easy when you're going through a difficult decision and people are very opinionated. But I asked for the opinions, so ya get what ya ask for.

    What did you mean by 'so many other things that I would like to say'? That sounds a bit ominous.
    Since the issues occur when you leave town, maybe you could board him, of find a good doggie day care for him to go to during the day when he could get some playtime and stimulation.

  12. #20
    Senior Dog Meeps83's Avatar
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    Is there a kennel or boarding facility that will work one on one with obedience for, say, 2 weeks or so? There was a member that did that with his dog about a year ago and was pleased with the results. He had trouble with the dog pulling and not responding to his SO. It might be worth a shot and he might respond very well to that kind of training.

    You our also mentioned that he was from a breeder. Is the breeder affiliated with or could he recommend you to a hunt club? I don't do hunt tests, but this might be a great way for him to run off some energy and be calmer in your home. My dog always gets tired after outdoor run time and turns into a big brown marshmallow afterwards.

    I hope you you can come up with something that works for everyone!

 



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