New member - 2 chocolate brothers - trying to rehome one - :-(

[zd262]

Another option would be to find a really good dog walker for when you're out of town. When I go away my roommates take care of my dog. Normally it would be hard to convince very busy 20 year olds to take care of a rambunctious 7 month old lab. But his dog walker is great! He goes down to the beach with 5 other similarly sized dogs who also want to play and they end up being gone for 2-3 hours. With all that exercise all else Bubba needs is to be let out in the morning and evening to pee and to be fed.

Generally if you're not able to train behaviors away, exercising them away also works.

[ChocLab5]

Final say: I'm not going to rehome Becker: I love him too much, and he is a part of this family. When I picked him up as a pup, we became his forever home, and it is not fair of me to 'discard' him because he has a few issues. They've caused quite a mess, but that's all part of it. Compared to what some of my parents' labs did (shred multiple priceless books, destroy a high-end home speaker, eat rocks nearly killing him due to liver failure, eat an antique Oriental rug, eat car interiors, etc. etc.), Becker has caused minimal damage.

I want to say thank you very much for all of the feedback, both positive and negative, as all of it was helpful in its own way. I needed you all to comment to get me to think from all angles about this, and to also force me to spend some additional time with Becker when I would normally be working in my office.

I just 'pulled out the chair' in the garage. When I do that, the pups know that it's cuddle time and they rub all over me and lick all over me and get petted and scratched to the nth degree. This time, however, Radley was in his crate (for a spell) while Becker had his fill during cuddle time. He was groaning and smiling and having a blast, until he got so excited that he brought me his rubber bone. By this time I had let Radley out, as he was bitching mightily about being left out. Radley did not get to play in Becker's reindeer games with Becker's bone. When I did let Radley go after it, Becker got it first and then Radley tried to get it. Becker growled at Radley with a mouth full of bone, so I told Radley to let go. The growling thing is nothing, as they're brothers and that's bound to happen. They've fought since they were pups, and within seconds of finishing the fight (which is a lot of tail wagging and mouthing and play growling), they sniff & lick the other's jowls.

After cuddle time, I looked at Becker and told him 'You're not going anywhere, Becker Bear. . . .this is your home.' He just smiled, put his ears back, and started dancing/prancing.

I would rather work on my wife and keep Becker than rehome him and constantly wonder if he's okay and if he's getting loved like he does here.

Again, many thanks for all of your input. . .this is a great chat board.

[Meeps83]

I would rather work on my wife and keep Becker than rehome him and constantly wonder if he's okay and if he's getting loved like he does here.

Ha ha ha good luck with that! Maybe she should take a class with him to form a stronger bond? It might be fun for them!

[ChocLab5]

Ha ha ha good luck with that! Maybe she should take a class with him to form a stronger bond? It might be fun for them!

Ha ha ha. . .yeah, I probably shouldn't let her see this, as I should have worded that much better. My wife was actually pretty cool when I told her why we're keeping Becker (forever home, not fair to him, our son will get bigger soon/Becker will calm down about the same time). All is good, and for some reason, Becker seems so much more calm and content. . .like he knows now.

[barry581]

I'm very happy that you made this decision. I'm 100% sure Becker was feeling your stress, and now that you've come to your decision, and are more relaxed, Becker is doing the same.

[Abulafia]

I wish you and your dogs the best of luck.

[Maxx&Emma]

I understand. . .I do. It might seem like the easy way out to re-home, and that I have given up. But if anybody thinks that this has been easy, you need to walk a mile in my shoes. Remember that I have put off doing this because Becker is my dog, and every time I envision Becker leaving, I envision that look where he turns around with complete betrayal in his eyes as if to say 'Why are you doing this?! Please don't!! I'm sorry, Daddy!' THAT, and a million other reasons, are why I have not moved ahead with this. Becker has been our dog since day one. Just the other day I celebrated their 3 year birthday with burgers & fries from a great local burger joint, and you would have thought I just wrote them a check for a million dollars. They were beyond ecstatic. They have their moments. Radley has not been a complete angel, either. Labs are not angels, I know. But in my humble opinion, they are the best, most loving, and most empathetic breed on this earth. I have not moved forward with this because of my fear of Becker getting mistreated in some fashion, the subsequent depression that both dogs would feel from the separation both from each other and especially for Becker due to that being compounded with separation from our house, etc. Becker is an amazing dog, and as with Radley, I have incredible memories with him. Everybody assumes that I am going to rehome him. Again, I have not done this for a long time because of how much I love Becker and don't want him to go. The more I think about this, the more that I'm realizing that we only have issues when I leave town, aka he's got separation anxiety and sadness when I leave. I'm going to have to work with my wife, not Becker, on that front. Becker loves the games that I play with him every time we go out, and I know that de doesn't get that stimulation when I'm gone.

Sorry for rambling, but it's never easy when you're going through a difficult decision and people are very opinionated. But I asked for the opinions, so ya get what ya ask for.

What did you mean by 'so many other things that I would like to say'? That sounds a bit ominous.

If you really want to know, here you go but please remember you asked.

I am going to speak for your dog, he needs a voice in this. You are the human and only you have the power to do the right thing. You made a commitment the day you brought those puppies home. Follow through on your commitment, involve a trainer, a dog walker, whatever you have to do but please don't give up on your dog. Obviously you love him and he you. Your home is the only home he has known, please don't break his heart. Figure out what you need to do to fix this and get it done. It is pretty simple.

I raised 4 children with multiple Labs, my now grown children would tell you those Labs were one of the best parts of their childhood. I hope your son can experience that joy.

ETA - I just read the end of this thread and that you are not giving up on your dog. I am really glad and I definitely hope you get whatever training or help you need to make your home happy for everyone.