Need help in acquiring a new lab.

[littlebeam]

We recently lost our beloved yellow lab, Zoe in March. I desperately want another lab, but my husband does not. It seems he is dwelling on all the negative things that we went through with Zoe. She did have some health issues. She had a torn ACL and some stomach gastric problems. What can I do to convince him the joyous and good times outweigh the bad? I'm at a loss. He just only remembers the bad times. I just cannot believe he is doing this because she was so devoted to him. It's so depressing.

[Labradorks]

It sounds like it was financial and perhaps he feels having another dog would be unaffordable? Or is he the type of person that can't understand spending money on a dog? Perhaps if you get to the meat of the issue (money? convenience? time?) versus feelings, you can better understand where he is coming from and have a rational discussion and come to a mutually beneficial decision. Perhaps he will be more open to it once you have more money (i.e., car is paid off) or time (i.e., kid goes to college or you retire). I don't know your situation, obviously, so just throwing out suggestions.

[smartrock]

Does he not want any dog or does he specifically not want another lab? Losing a beloved pet can be very painful and people recover at different times. Some people don't want to subject themselves to this type of worry and loss again. Some people are ready to go out the next day to find a dog to love to help fill the void left by their previous dog. It won't be disloyal to your previous dog to get a new dog. Zoe has shown you guys how much love and joy a dog can bring to your life. Maybe focusing on the negative is his way of trying to avoid the pain of another loss, even though it would not be for years. The financial woes of having a dog with some health issues can be eased by getting pet health insurance when they're little and still healthy. When our 3rd bullmastiff died, I couldn't face getting another bullmastiff but I was open to getting another breed and that's how we ended up with labs. I know when we lose these guys it will be terribly hard once again, they never are with us long enough. Good luck.

[ZoeysMommy]

March wasnt that long ago, perhaps just give him more time to heal. Everyone heals at different rates, if all hes remembering is the bad times, then perhaps his heart is just broken

Personally if both of you arent on the same page, I dont feel that there is really any point discussing it. Bring it up again in a few months and see where he is at

I lost my little 17 year pom in March and I cant even look at another pom without breaking down. Owning another is always my plan but not until I can move past the pain.

[Tanya]

I agree if he isn't ready, is still grieving, it's not fair to push too hard. He has the right to not being ready just yet.

One option is to start researching (if this doesn't make it harder on you while waiting that is) breeders and have a few breeders sorta "pre-screened" (meaning you know they do clearances, prove their dogs, are a good ethical breeder) so when he is ready you'll be ahead of the game. But if this makes it harder on you to wait then i'd not encourage doing this either.

Maybe dog-sit or foster for a rescue in a few months and to test the waters with no commitment.

[windycanyon]

Maybe dog-sit or foster for a rescue in a few months and to test the waters with no commitment.

Excellent suggestion. Maybe that will help your husband get ready for a new dog too, but until he's 100% on board, the time isn't right. Good luck. Anne

[littlebeam]

Thanks for all the replies and advise. Yes, having a dog is expensive, and her ACL surgery set us back a little, but that is not his main concern, I believe. He is open toa different kind of dog, or possibly a cat, but does not want another lab. He may consider a lap dog, but I love labs and don't much care for little dogs. His complaints are all the shedding. He brings up how he had to carry Zoe up and down the steps after she had her ACL surgery. He brings up all the times we had to get up in the middle of the night to let her outside because we thought she was going to get sick, or have diarrhea(sp). He complains about the messes from those things when they happened in the house. At the time these things happened, he hardly complained at all, and did it without question. He loved her dearly and she was Daddy's girl. She was our first dog, and I'm sure we made many mistakes, but she was spoiled rotten and loved to the max. Like I said in my initial post, I just cannot understand how he is only thinking of the bad parts of owning a lab, and not the joy and love she gave us. We are in our early 60's, and she made us get out and do things. Nothing I say will change his mind about the bad times we went through. If I didn't know better, you'd think he disliked her immensely, but I know that is not the case. I will give him more time as some have suggested, but it doesn't look promising for me to get my lab.

[Tanya]

sounds like there is plenty of room for a compromise! Without getting a 10 pound dog, maybe a smaller lab mix or other. Check out local rescues and pounds and find a dog that fits your needs! Lots of great mixes with very "labby" temperments. Maybe something that is labby enough for you but not too labby for him!

I was a very "lab" type person, and loved "big dogs". but fostering dogs I met tons of other wonderful mixes and breeds. my second dog is a mix, and honestly at 40 pounds it's great as I can easily lift her if needed but she is by NO MEANS a small wimpy dog. I really quite like the size. Mind you - she sheds as bad as my lab haha. She LOVES people, very affectionate. Short of getting a dog with "Hair" (which requires cutting) all dogs shed I will always have a lab but even now I find myself planning for my next lab to be on the smaller end of lab-scales.

But it does sound like he needs at least a bit more time. (or like I said earlier, foster/dog-sit to test the waters)

[Labradorks]

Thanks for all the replies and advise. Yes, having a dog is expensive, and her ACL surgery set us back a little, but that is not his main concern, I believe. He is open toa different kind of dog, or possibly a cat, but does not want another lab. He may consider a lap dog, but I love labs and don't much care for little dogs. His complaints are all the shedding. He brings up how he had to carry Zoe up and down the steps after she had her ACL surgery. He brings up all the times we had to get up in the middle of the night to let her outside because we thought she was going to get sick, or have diarrhea(sp). He complains about the messes from those things when they happened in the house. At the time these things happened, he hardly complained at all, and did it without question. He loved her dearly and she was Daddy's girl. She was our first dog, and I'm sure we made many mistakes, but she was spoiled rotten and loved to the max. Like I said in my initial post, I just cannot understand how he is only thinking of the bad parts of owning a lab, and not the joy and love she gave us. We are in our early 60's, and she made us get out and do things. Nothing I say will change his mind about the bad times we went through. If I didn't know better, you'd think he disliked her immensely, but I know that is not the case. I will give him more time as some have suggested, but it doesn't look promising for me to get my lab.

Well, he does have some good points. Lots of people go from larger to smaller dogs as they age due to these dogs being too large to handle. The shedding will happen with any dog, though Labs are pretty intense. But getting up if a dog is sick, that happens with all dogs, as do accidents or illness. It sounds like he is thinking logically, without much feeling. Doesn't mean that he didn't care or doesn't miss her.

There are smaller dogs that are active, especially if you are looking under 40 lbs. Sporting dogs included (Brittanys and other spaniels, for example). Herding dogs such as Aussies and Border Collies are also in the 40 lbs and under range, but they are not much like a Lab. Some little dogs (lap dogs) are active in the house and like to play, but are typically not much good for hikes or long walks.

Good luck!

[ZoeysMommy]

Oh, ok I understand a bit more now.

There are a ton of smaller breeds that are just as wonderful as labs I am a lab lover but I am also a dog lover as you can see from my sig pic, I own a whole rainbow of breeds, ranging from 70 pounds down to 4 pounds

Corgis are great smaller dogs, they are like big dogs with short little legs. My corgi can do everything that my lab does including camping, hiking, swimming but she is much easier to manage, she is 22 pounds. She is also very smart and very loyal. She is my funniest dog and makes me laugh constantly. Id own multiple corgis if my husband let me

Shih tzus are another great little breed, as are beagles, brittanys